champton911 wrote:
shlaifu wrote:
He sounds like me.
The kid probably, like me, sees new things as borderline impossible feats, as he (and I) have so little .... Social experience to have intuitively figured out that you need to talk to people.
He's likely to have similar problems and anxieties after college, and might need some help finding a job, but as it sounds, he might be good at what he finally decides to do.
I am, but I needed friends and family to help me, and sometimes make decisions for me.
Family decided to kick me out, friend helped me get his old flat when he moved out- because the sheer concept of going to places and look at flats and then just decide that this would be where I'd want to live is .... Such a big decision- how could I make such a decision in advance?
Also, in case this actually all fits to your son: tell him how life works. Literally. I could do with some advice - or rather, could have done.
Tell him what the next steps will be. How normal people get a job. It'll be weird to him, going to a strange place, and meeting up with a stranger for a chat. Tell him what a normal interview looks like. I know I didn't get the memo on how life works, and telling me to just do things is useless, because... How do you do that, exactly?
The thing is: I could not imagine myself doing certain things in life. I maybe would have wanted to, but the emphasis is on "I could not Imagine it." - and it's hard to decide on what you want to do in life, if you can't imagine things, and yourself in it.
I am trying to push myself to do things, by just mechanically answering "yes" to everything, and think later (a lesson I have learned. If I was asked to think if I would like, say a certain job, I'd probably find a reason not to want it). That seems to be, for me, the safest way to get to do things, but I'm still unable to follow a goal without knowing the exact steps towards that goal.
So, I had this complete response typed out for you and before I could post it, my iPad died. LOL
Anyway, I think it's great that you are pushing yourself. I'm going to talk to his dad about the advice I've gotten from you and others here. He doesn't want to drive but there are plenty of places within walking distance he can apply. I'm also working on getting his transition services in place. It's been hard because his dad had all of his paperwork and misplaced it in the move. So I'm trying to get replacements.
Why does he not want to drive?
I always enjoyed it, but I was a horrible driver. I haven't owned a car in years (living in a european city, no actual need for one)
About pushing myself: I've experienced burn-out and depression that way, thlugh, because I don' have a sense for when I'm pushing myself beyond a breaking point- up until which I will feel and seem pretty normal, or even enjoying myself.
(Happened twice so far, and the second time was without a safety net, like college (i.e. a plan for the next few years)- and I've only recently started to recover somewhat and started to push myself again.)
So.... This is not a *good* solution, but one that leads to some (severe) ups and downs, instead of monotonous slow decline.
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I can read facial expressions. I did the test.
07 Dec 2015, 3:51 am
