What makes you autistic?

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I think quality of life could easily be applied to some criteria such as:
1) ability to have friendships
2) ability to have and hold romantic relationships
3) ability to function as the majority of people do in social situations
4) ability to function professionally and in team situations
5) ability to control special interests and engage beyond those special interests

That's just off the top of my head. So, I think quality of life can be measured to some degree. And, it is not a measure of how happy you are. I am perfectly happy to be alone and not have any social interaction because people confuse me and I can't process many social cues. But, that is actually not the norm and would be considered a lack of quality of life regardless of how satisfied I am.

I don't think anyone can really answer these questions, but...

a) For me personally, my discomfort in social situations, dislike for social chit chat, need for time on my own, stimming, persistent anxiety, dislike of change, not understanding my own emotions very well, physicalisation of emotions, need for routine, sensory sensitivities.

b) I know that heredity must be involved, looking at my own family!

Quality of life for individual mostly. I have always had aspie traits but it's when I went into work and had trouble keeping jobs that I got diagnosed and I can work around/ inprove myself now I know what weaknesses I have. Though for others it's probably different since we're on a spectrum.

Currently, my two biggest traits are social difficulties and sensory overload. My traits use to be much more obvious and pervasive when I was younger. I'm in my 30's now and have learned to cope and adapt in many ways. Situations where I am forced to interact with people, like at work, are difficult. I prefer to be on my own. Social interaction makes me uncomfortable and is very very very very very draining on energy, so I try to avoid it when ever possible. I don't like to look people in the eye, so I've learned to just look at their mouth when I have to. I don't get, emotions, jokes or sarcasm from people I don't know. Oddly though, when I get to know someone, I start to make connections and pick up on these things. I can also ramble on about things no one cares about but me or I can say or do things that are inappropriate given the situation. I'll catch myself rambling or saying something wrong and I get really embarrassed. I also get overwhelmed quickly in places where there are many noises and things to look at, So I don't go out much. 30 minutes at a party or bar and I'm ready to die. The grocery store is awful, but I have to go. Thank Zeus for online shopping!

Interesting terms and are new to me. Can you elaborate? Thanks

Theory of Mind
When you talk about your special interest and not realize the other person is not as enthralled with the subject as you are or is bored is one example of poor theory of mind

Adding to my list of Autistic traits can atypical body language and not understanding my emotions and very delayed emotions.

Atypical is just not like most everybody else.

Most of things already mentioned but I also don't know how to have a "good time", or pretend to be having a good time. I just want to be by myself on my computer all day.

Thanks for clarifying. I read the definitions, but could not figure how it applied to me. So, with your information, yep, that would be me up one side and down the other. And, I do think my body language, facial expressions and inability to process my emotions also fall within my hemisphere. Many examples of that this week with the family and I'm struggling to figure who the asses are. Me or them. Theory of numbers points to me though. But, I just don't see it.

This makes sense.

Though, for people who are similar to me (having what I consider to be very mildly autistic traits), I wonder how much of this “quality of life” thing is related to parenting/upbringing. I was fortunate to have grown up in an upper middle class environment with parents who were unwilling to allow me to just be me.

I have no doubt, from my parent's expectation perspective, that my "quality of life" is quite a bit below the standard they had envisioned for me (both socially and economically). This gap (between expectation and reality) was deeply troubling during my 20s, 30s and 40s. Fortunately, as I have gotten older and gained more perspective (particularly, after being diagnosed), I figure my "quality of life" is about where it should be, given the circumstances.

To make it more clear:
If someone were having a conversation with you, what, precisely, would let them infer you have autism?

Give an example that had been noted before maybe

As far as I can tell, nobody notices unless it is more severe than I have. My colleagues (past and present) were just confused as to why I had so much potential, could do things that other people could not do, but was still "the problem child". I have only let two people outside of the family know what's going on (Had to) and they just get all confused and actually try to tell me otherwise. "You too smart" or "You seem so 'together'". What's interesting is that one of those people who said exactly that is the same person who dismissed me from two meetings. My family has just turned a deaf ear.

Otherwise they just think I'm aloof, snobby, judgmental, antisocial, mean spirited or 'edgy'. Since I'm a professional artist, I think that 'edgy' vibe is what's allowed me to pass all this time under the radar.

But, they have not been witness to the meltdowns or, in the case of my family, they just think I'm 'thin skinned'. For instance, I stopped counting after 30 how many times I got cut off, ignored or just plain shut down with the looks and attitude. But, I am prone to withdraw. So, after that I just stopped trying to be part of the conversation.

While I don't possess a complete eidetic memory, it is beyond most people's ability. I got a lot of vindication tonight. I'd been poo pooed several times about things I told them I remembered. When I got models or other gifts, the location and years. We moved a lot. They just passed it off until we looked at slides and they had to admit I wasn't just 'fantasizing'. But, they still don't listen. So, I have no idea what other people see. Only what a few have told me ( the aloof, snobby, judgmental, antisocial, mean spirited or 'edgy' things". That's been most of my life.

On the very rare occasions I tell someone I have autism, I tell them my brain is held together with duct tape and wishful thinking. Sure feels that way.

Nothing at this point. That can be a problem, sometimes. If you seem close enough to normalcy, people get a lot more irked by any sort of deviation from it.

BINGO!! !!

I've also learned to fake normal. So most people don't notice.

It fails on me when they expect me to take that next step that I fail miserably at. Hence the refrain from my entire life, "You're so (smart, talented, etc, etc) but, you just don't try." What they fail to understand is that my entire existence is effort to just understand and cope.
To be fair though, I am just discovering myself how, what I thought was normal, is actually not in the daily experience of NTs. So....kinda can't blame them there. Just wish the people I have told would listen.

On the plus side, if you work at this hard enough then at some point you suddenly realize you understand why they're doing things and they don't. They've never had to think about it, so they never do and it blows their minds to have someone actually do so.

I consider it a plus because it's pretty damn funny to me. Oh, and if you find someone "NT' who has thought about it and you bring it up? That's a great icebreaker; they'll be so relieved to find someone who can relate.

Anyway, it took me twenty-some years to get here. I'm good enough at it that what remains is this occasional sort of tension in the air when I do something slightly "off". I don't think most people consciously pick up on it, but I do and it's very nerve-wracking. Then again, so was getting to that point. No reason to stop here.

The Uncanny valley theory