Avoiding people you like

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I have that problem, and it's because I must do it.

This is because people reject me when I do the tiniest things wrong.

Way back when, I replied to a thread and talked about someone I thought was a very good friend. Then, I started to ask a relative of hers for personal information and it all went downhill. I have had quite a few daydreams about her since then, but I have no idea what she is doing in reality. Honestly, I am heartbroken. A good friend who I thought I always liked now no longer talks to me anymore!

I am very much like this.I easily go several months without talking with friends and relatives,weeks with parents(who I am on reasonably good terms with).I avoid nice people I know,if I chance across them in public.When "cornered" I know how to use a friendly persona,but inside my true "furtive hermit" nature speaks otherwise.

Yes. I worry that people will get sick of me.

O yes. It's like this: I'm a good friend if I know somebody a little bit, but once I see them more, I ignore them more and more, while I like them more and more.

I avoid some friendly people because I don't want to talk to them. Or more specifically, I'm afraid of talking. Period. Just talking.

I avoid confrontational people because it's just so hard to come up with the proper words to specifically replay with. The funny thing is that if I get on a roll, get into a mode where I begin talking, it can get away with me and I can talk up a storm. And losing myself in a conversation and taking it over because of AS is embarrassing. So I take the low road and weasel out of any conversation I can. And that means avoiding getting into a conversation in the first place.

A lot of the people that I avoid are the ones that are always very exuberant when they greet me (especially the ones who greet me by my name) and are obviously trying to be friendly. I like them, but I just can't match it, and when I'm not feeling up to responding and I see one of those people sometimes I try to avoid having them see me.

Judging by the responses this is obviously a prevalent problem among aspies.

Last edited by GoatOnFire on 16 Apr 2007, 10:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

well i dont know anyone to aviod so
i use to sabatoge meeting though with people when i was in school

I did that several times at the special ed school I went to for 5th and 6th grade.

I don't really know these people that I am talking about. They're not friends, and this behavior of mine is probably the reason why.

I have extreme social anxiety....i can really only deal with people who give me my space.

Those situations are the worst! I'm getting better at them, but I used to want to make a crazy face at them and run away when they'd come up to me all excited and smiling. I guess it's because we know we can't match their level of enthusiasm (or fakery, whichever the case may be), and so we have the urge to flee the scene. The reason I'm doing better now is because I no longer let myself feel guilty for not acting like them. We are different from other people, and we shouldn't feel bad because we don't behave the way they do. I've been telling myself this repeatedly, and I'm forcing myself to stay in those types of situations without letting myself panic. It is actually helping. So good luck, you're definitely not alone!

I don't consciously avoid people I like. That would be impossible for me anyway as I usually bump into someone while I'm on the bus, or shopping. It's just that I feel a little uncomfortable at times when I do bump into people, because at times I'd prefer to be alone and have my own space.

i do this a lot... not sure why.

is why imsurprised any of my aqaintances even bother finding me again to say "hi"

"hey man lets hang out, after school?" shure man let me give you my phone number. little did he know, it was someone elses phone number. it wasnt mine, hah

I don't avoid people I like. I just don't feel it is necessary to talk to them.
I can spend a whole year happily not talking to my family or my small circle of freinds, it doesn't mean I'm avoding them.

I wouldn't know what to talk about even I had to talk to them everyday, I mean their NO different to the next day and I know they exist so why talk?
My family complain to me about this behaviour, but since my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer I will guarantee to communicate more frequently. I do have a heart.

When I'm in public I hate running into people I know. It doesn't matter how much I know them. I hate it. It always feels very awkward. If eye contact has been established, then I'll usually say hi and maybe try for a little chit chat, but if not, I usually look the other way and pretend I didn' see them and try to do anything not to run into them - maybe cross the street, turn around, etc.

I'm very shy, but I can usually tolerate social situations like a prearrangerd meeting , but when running into someone, it's that jolt of unexpected social activity that I find overwhelming.