Torn between Asperger's or Borderline Personality Disorder.

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^ 'Autism Spectrum Condition', sometimes used instead of ASD, 'Autism Spectrum Disorder' to avoid using the word 'disorder'.

Hi BeaArthur, Yes as Hyperborean clarified (thank you), ASC means Autism Spectrum Conditions .

The autism organisation I work for use this term to get away from the more typical 'Disorder' and I have to say I prefer it. I think I automatically use it these days, but I do think it is a more accepting description that covers the wide range of impacts that different peoples autism can have. I also think it encourages the wider public to see a difference rather than something 'disordered, broken, defective' or suchlike. "Yes, I have difficulty with large groups of people and noise, its just one part of the range of conditions my autism encompasses." or "Yes, I have difficulty with large groups of people and noise, it is part of my disorder; my autistic disorder." I know which one I prefer to use and don't think it is semantics.

Small changes can sometimes reap big rewards and the hope is that this change in terminology is part of that drive.

Okay, thanks, I notice both you and Hyperborean are in Europe. Culture makes a lot of difference in terminology.

Oh my...

Well, this thread tripled in size quickly.

Hyperborean -

So you've molded your life, lifestyle, and career, around accepting and living with vs. just coping with your disorder. I want to, and let's face it: If I do have BPD, I can only get treatment for it. There will never be a cure , so to speak. So your solution seems like the most healthy of the options. But for now, given where I live and how expensive it's become to stay here (even with room-mates), I'm having to live with my parents. And it's become difficult. They want me to get off my computer, go out there, make friends, and be the typical happy extroverted 23 yr. old.



Suddenly an official diagnosis sounds better than ever...they might finally get off my back! But I digress... until that time, I'll just keep my head down, work retail to pay rent to them, and study my *** off to get my career started. Maybe then I'll finally get to enter the golden gates of official adulthood!

BeaArthur -

From the definition of 'splitting' you gave, it's everyone. When I love-like you, I adore you. If I'm angry with you, I hate you. It doesn't matter who, there's no one person I do it in particular to. From the way most people act with either/or emotion, I assumed it's normal. Unless it's not? [I really honestly don't know. ]

Self-harm: I impulsively would pull my hair when I was 16, and make them into giant hairballs. Trichotillomania, I believe it's called. I ended up losing 20% of my hair, and I still have bald spots to this day. Unfortunately, my parents noticed, and their reactions scared me. I haven't done it since.

And absolutely. Sensory issues:

Sight - I won't drive in daytime, if I don't have my sunglasses. I don't care if I'm late to work because I had to do a u-turn back Home, I just can't do it. I hate driving at night, because when it's dark out, it makes the already bright headlights, seem even brighter. It throws me off, and I almost had an accident because of it once. I just ended up popping both tires on my left side against a curb instead.

Smell - Unless I'm in a mood to be able to handle it, the closest I ever come to wearing perfume is Dove soap. And if I am in a perfume mood, it has to be the powdery kind. It's light, and as the hours go on, it dissipates even more.

Taste - I hate new food. It takes me awhile to get the taste-texture balance just right, so once I find it, I order the same items everywhere I go, every time. 12 yrs. later, I still order the Chicken-fingers w/honey mustard, fries and coke as my go-to wherever I go, unless there's something better.

Touch - Jeans are the absolute worst. My legs feel best when they're free in shorts, and clothes from my waist down need to come in Cotton, satin, viscose, or rayon. Anything 'crinkly', I cringe. Tags usually come with a silky feel where I buy them, so I don't need to worry about those anymore. Anything Wool? I refuse. I won't do it. Can't.

Temperature - This is a hit-or-miss. I usually dress in a way so that I can take something off if it's too hot, and still be socially acceptable, or take a heavy sweater just in case I get too cold. Even in sunny, muggy South Florida.

Build up? Sensory-wise, I usually just stay at home stimming and listening to Music, dissociated before I reach that point. If I feel it coming, I get away for a few minutes-few hours. I don't care the circumstances, consequences, or however socially unacceptable it is anymore. There's nothing worse than the humiliation of a breakdown in full view of the Public. That leaves the emotional outbursts from being over-criticized, which account for 99% of my breakdowns. It reminds me that somethings wrong with me, and that I'm not trying hard enough to do my best to heal it. You only get so many potshots before you get a face that would make even Hannibal Lector blood curdle. I can't help it. I can control what I say, or if I break something, but not my face and body-language.

helloarchy -

Thank you. I just hope I can find someone who will look at me objectively, and be accurate. Not just give me the diagnosis makes it simplest for them. I want accuracy, then I'll actually be able to devote my 100% to affecting it, and be right about it.

Violetvee -

I wish I were asexual. Honestly, it'd make my self-imposed isolation so much easier. But I digress...I'm sorry about your friend and her boyfriend. It's funny how we're the ones who are thought as weird, but at least we come with templates in comparison to the so-called 'Normals'.

Same with my hearing too. It is definitely the one my possible Autism has affected most. As a Musician, I love it. I can't describe what an asset it is.

Waterfalls -

No diagnosis yet. Just want to limit what to tell my future Psychologist to look for. And I agree entirely. I'm doing my best to be objective, but considering the source, it makes it difficult (if nigh impossible). Which is why an outsiders perspective is best. Be it on the Internet or not.

Honestly, it's a bit of both. I'm set off by the people that annoy me, and the ones that confuse me. Incidentally the ones that confuse me are also the ones that annoy me.

I'm looking for a good psychologist, I'm just not ready to take the step yet. I'm having to live with my parents, and well...How the hell do you tell your own parents you want to see a Psychologist to diagnose possible Asperger's-BPD?

K1hodgman if your parents love you it think you're best off telling them you want to see a psychologist for help with something they agree with, like learning to stay in control of your emotions, and stay away from asking them to help label you (which they are more likely to resist).

Davvo7 -

This is my dilemma...people with Asperger's usually have a big enough issue just reading social cues, much less be able to manipulate them. Whereas people with BPD can, and are able to manipulate them. Whether they actually do so or not, is the issue. From my research, as least that's what I've gotten from it.

Thank you, I will definitely be doing that. It's simply reached a point, where I can't be apathetic about it anymore.

Interesting that you make that point. America has been at the forefront of much social change, particularly feminism and LGBT rights, and is the home of political correctness (I don't mean that disparagingly: for all its excesses, political correctness has taught us to think before we open our mouths - although Donald Trump was obviously bunking off school the day they had the PC lesson). So it's odd that when it comes to mental health you're not quite so fussy.

That's a really unconstructive way to approach working with a psychologist. Your doctor is a professional with years of training. Answer the evaluation questions scrupulously honestly and you'll get the best results. Don't get hung up on a diagnosis. Treat the symptoms that are causing you distress.

Waterfalls -

I know....I know...it's going to take awhile to build my courage up to it is all. I've nothing to lose until then, it will just more of the same.

Eloquaint -

Maybe...I'm just going to have go with it and see how it turns out, either way.

Anyone else?

All shrinks are different, and where your live sometimes drives the diagnosis.

What you wrote does not scream BPD. Yes, BPD people rage, and many people think psycho rages=BPD or Bipolar Disorder. It doesn't.

What doesn't scream from your post is the overwhelming sense of neediness/abandonment that drives most BPD behaviors.

For BPD relationships this is usually how it goes...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! YOU'RE THE BEST! Showers the person with attention, money, time, It's over the top crazy. The person can do no wrong by you.

Then something happens, a missed phone call, a small fight. Then all hell breaks loose. The overwhelming fear and abandonment drives screaming, threats, the stalking, suicide attempts...all the over the top behaviors. Then the horrible depressions.

You are either top of the world or sliding into the pit of despair with BPD.

My mother had BPD. I have been with other patients in group therapy that have it.
All the reasons you give about being dissatisfied/angry really don't fit the 15 odd people (besides my mom), just aren't pinging my BPD-dar.

BPD is a garbage can diagnosis. Many good psychiatrist believe people get labeled with it because it's what lazy psychiatrist do when they don't want to dig a little deeper.

If you don't have...

Major depression
OCD
Anxiety disorder
Schizophrenia
Bipolar Disorder
Schizoaffective Disorder

And are woman and considered a boat load of drama, you will get a BPD diagnosis.

There are two groups of people my psychiatrist friend will not treat anorexics and BPD. For various reasons, but mostly for the 4 am ER wake up calls when his BPD patient would eat 500 Tylenols for some perceived slight he did.

I don't know what you have as a psychiatric diagnosis, but around here it wouldn't be BPD.