Adult Diagnosis - Hidden for Life?

Post Reply New Topic

So the "Blame and Shame" of having a person with autism in the house was (is?) not just a part of the midwest culture, but seems to be endemic to the east coast, as well.

I wonder if this happened elsewhere. Anyone ... ?

New York City is where Autism Speaks was founded and is headquartered. Bob Wright founder of Autism speaks went to High School two blocks from where I grew up. Back in in the day the National Eugenics registry was located on Long Island. The Judge Rotenberg Center is located in Massachusetts. So much for the liberal "blue states".

Shame and Blame are kind of everywhere. A variation of the "refrigerator mother" theory is still popular in France and South Korea. Autistic kids are "packed" in France, which means covering them with towels covered with ice cold water. Wrong Planet has a sticky thead about that
Autism In France: Psychoanalysis, Packing, Other Travesties. I have posted several stories where the community backed the bullies of autistics including one where the kid who filmed his bullying was arrested and the people who bullied him supported.

But it goes the other way also. Donald Tippett of Mississippi was the first person to be diagnosed as autistic by Leo
Kanner. When ABC news reporters went to do a story on him the locals told them we know where you live, a strong hint to do a positive story. I have posted stories where autistic people have been VOTED by thier peers as prom king, a customer was banned from a restaurant for belittling and autistic employee.

I think there was also a lot of family secrecy and shaming, in addition to people not knowing about mild autism/Asperger's syndrome in non-German speaking countries prior to the 90s.

I had all the symptoms in my childhood as well, certainly more than just quirky and oddball. I finally got my diagnosis last year, and was only 3 points from being considered severely autistic (go figure). I can only imagine what they would have come up with in childhood.

It was only after my own diagnosis that I found out that I had three cousins on the spectrum. The secret had been very carefully kept. One was older than I, and two were children. We had always heard that the older cousin was "different" but never heard why--there were some visits we didn't even see her but weren't told why. Several people in the family had also thought my father and grandfather had Asperger's, but had never told us, I suppose because they thought he would be offended.

33F here. I was diagnosed last year, with PDD. I don't have meltdowns, and the sensory stuff is more or less manageable, so that has definitely 'helped' me stay hidden. I have never been 'blamed and shamed', nor have I really heard about that happening in Denmark (not that I know much of autism in Denmark).

When I was a child, I was the quiet, shy girl who does her stuff in class and rarely makes a fuss. I did have one friend, at least in the lower classes, and while I was teased a lot, it was mostly just that - it wasn't until my last couple years in grade school that I was bullied. Add to this that my family is also not exactly standard, and there's little that really stands out. My mother was also very quiet, read a lot and had trouble with sunlight. Many of my issues were things that was easily dismissed as childish things - very fussy eater, HATED buttons (still do), spoke weirdly ('like a book'). I was a late speaker (didn't start until 3 yo) but again, we had family that had also started speaking very late.

The few times my school wanted to get me to a specialist, I 'resolved' the issues before it became strictly necessary with a psychologist (it was mostly speaking and later on reading - didn't learn it until start 3rd grade).

I did know that I was deeply weird, but I decided pretty early on, 15 yo, that it wasn't a problem: other people might need me, but I didn't need them, so f*** them (in general - I don't hate people, and have no problems with other people). I don't know if that's a healthy attitude, but it has helped me through adult life with no really major psychological issues.

So in conclusion I think family traits and possibly undiagnosed ASD further back shouldn't be overlooked as a cause.

Thanks Khamul. I can relate to that. Not in terms of being the shy girl, but I was shy guy, quiet, never made a fuss, few friends. I never really tried to socialise. I always feel like I was behind, playing catch up, seeing what other people were doing and trying to copy.

But I can definitely see differences. How much is typical childhood behaviour, I don't know.

I came to the same conclusion as you did. It is only recent years going to Church that I started learning about how people can make your life better, or at least how life should be about people rather than things. But it's causing me problems because these people call me friends and then we never meet outside. Im getting confused. We don't connect. They seem disingenuous. But they seem to think everythings fine and great and Im far too sensitive.

I posted a new thread on where you draw the line.