TheAP wrote:
For me, I kind of lose control of myself and get so angry that I hit or pinch myself and scream out and cry.
That would be what you do. If I understand the question, it's what does it 'feel' like. I cannot describe any feeling.
But if it's what do you do, then there is the silent shutdown where I just close off completely and am barely responsive. The problem with that is it gives the impression that all is cool while I'm turning to goo and my brain is screaming. And then when it just won't stop, then this happens:
I can become very, very loud, flail my arms and hands and my language just goes out the window. It's not tourette's but for some reason, I can't access the vocabulary I do have and most of it is not suitable at all. At the end of it all, I will walk away from anything just to get away from it. I think if I was on a ship, I would walk off the plank voluntarily. All input at this point becomes negative and just starts to feedback.
I don't get violent. I don't attack people. I am just very loud and unpleasant. Added to the general scowly face, I've been told it comes across threatening. And, I guess if anybody is yelling, cussing you out and flailing in your general personal space (not at you though) I can see where it would be a bad thing.
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Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.
RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8