Is it a bad thing because I upset people alot I want a baby

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And besides, can you even afford it? Having a health pregnancy, which I assume you would want, is not inexpensive and neither is childbirth. And if something goes wrong, it can be astronomical. I have had some friends whose babies had serious issues at birth and the medical bills were in the 6 figures. And when you are pregnant you need to exercise and eat right and take prenatal supplements and rest well and really take care of yourself. You can't even take care of yourself now. You won't be able to take care of the babe in your belly.

And it's not right to gamble someone's life like that. You would be putting that baby in such a dangerous predicament. Sure, the baby could turn out to have a fairy tale happy ending but those are rare. Most unwanted babies end up used and abused and some end up exploited. This plan you have is so cockamamie. It makes no sense. It's one of the worse things I have ever heard.

Now so far you have had unanimous responses for "no, don't do it, what the hell are you thinking?! !" We are all concerned for you and this baby so hopefully we have managed to change your mind.

Like everyone else, I agree that this is a terrible idea.

However, if you really are hell bent on doing it (and this forum does nothing to dissuade you), then you could consider surrogacy. This is where you have an agreement with a couple (often gay or infertile couples). You use their sperm/sperm they chose from a bank and sometimes also have their eggs implanted. Expenses will often be paid, but there are usually strict rules about paying someone to have a child.

This is the only situation I can think of where you wouldn't be looked down on. Even then, you'd need to hold up against comments about how other people couldn't give their child up, etc.

It's well worth considering the emotional pain you are likely to put yourself through when it comes to giving the child up. I really think it's not worth the risk of going through pregnancy (not an easy experience) and then wanting to keep it if you don't have the resources/capabilities.

Yes, it's a selfish plan. Don't deliberately have a baby just to put it up for adoption. Adoption is supposed to be for the children of parents who have babies unintentionally, or have unforeseen circumstances make them unable to parent a planned child.

It also wouldn't work. Birth mothers of adopted children are faced with more stigma than sympathy. And if it ever came out why you really got pregnant, then the reaction would be even worse.

If you wanted a baby to care for the baby yourself and be its mother, then I'd say think hard about how you'd look after it, figure out a plan, and go for it. That's what I'm doing. But the plan you described here sounds simply awful.

If you want to be pregnant but not care for a baby, look into surrogacy. Then instead of just hoping the baby goes to a good home, you'll know the baby's going to a good home. And surrogacy is considered a generous gift, not a stigma. (At least not for non-fundamentalists.) Plus, you could maybe arrange some sort of open surrogacy where the kid gets to have visits with you and know he or she grew in your womb, and so get some of the joy of parenthood with none of the work or responsibility.

So...Neptunekh

you're getting quite a response!

Do you have a response to all of our responses?

In fact what may help is if you speak to a professional about this or someone like a support worker. This idea isnt good but there are other things you can do.