Who gets "talked down" to?

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I intend to avoid or ignore people if the condescending and patronizing behavior of theirs gets on my nerves or gets to be too much, as I intend to get too much stimuli in my own environment anyway. Usually those types of people are in the same church as I. And yes I do look a bit younger than my age, I am thirty nine years old now. This one lady/sister in my church talks to me like a two year old, and that is oh, sooooo irritating and aggravating! So, I feel for you guys too! Why can't everybody else talk to us and treat us like regular people/human beings? After all we are human just like the rest of them!



asperoasis

I'm 27 and I get id'ed to get into nc-17 movies still. I can't say as it surprises me much though, since I'm just as clueless about my age. I have a hard time remembering I'm supposed to be an 'adult'.

I get this, as well. Partly because I get easily confused and have very little common sense and partly because (as several have already mentioned), I look very young for my age. I usually don't mind it, because looking small, innocent, and worried often gets me sympathy, patience, and help (if I need it). When I start crying in public (which happens from time to time), people tend to be very kind (whereas, in this society, if I looked like a large, 40 year-old male I'd probably be thought crazy). I think a lot of situations would be more embarassing if people thought I actually was 21 years old and not a jr. high school student. I only mind the patronizing tone if someone is using it to show that he/she believes that my intellectual capacity is inferior. Then I can get harsh verbally.

I've often felt the exact same way.



I don't really know how to tell the difference between the tone of someone who thinks you are young and the tone of someone who thinks you are intellectually inferior. I guess I could pick up on it if they were being blatantly condescending, but otherwise, I would probably not even notice. Because of this, I'm not always sure how to feel about it when people use their "little kid voices" on me (what I mean is- the voice they would use when speaking to young children). Generally, I accept it, as long as they are being helpful.

I've had people patronize me quite a few times. They've used their little kid voices and overly praised me, which drives me absolutley bonkers, by the way I've also had people yell at me for making some simple mistake that they wouldn't get yelled at by somebody else for making. I happen to have a father who states a oot of obvious facts with me, and one day, I'm just going to lose my patience with him and tell him, "NO KIDDING!" Also when we have company, and I just get out of my room, or the washroom, he'll ask, "Don't you know how to say hello?" I've had cashiers treat me like I'm Mentally Challenged, despite the fact that do not have a Speech Disorder. Just recentley, a cashier told me to put my money away in a very enthusiastic voice. I got her back by saying a long string of sentences laced with big, comlpicated words, suprising the hell out of her with my wonderful, almost masculine Cockney Accent. She responded with a nervous laugh, telling me to have a nice day. I enjoyed watching her squirm. I wish all the nonsense would stop. It only makes me more rebelloius.

I really can't tell by the tone, either, I judge by the specific words that they say. Because I get easily confused by people, I think I can come across as rather "slow" sometimes. So I can be defenisive. I don't have a good example, but sometimes words (especially written) either explicitly said or words I "read into" (for good or bad)seem to state that I'm somehow intellectually less capable in some aspect. I tend not to be more able to figure out when someone does this if it's *written.* People are often more literal in writing, I've found.

I'm 17, which is still, I suppose, a kid, but I only look about 12 or 13. And my bf looks about 25, but he's only 18. When we go out, people always either assume he's my big brother, because we look a bit alike, or that he's a paedophile! I've told people off for that and then, because of my speech impediments, they assume he's just my worker... It really bugs me!!

I've always hated people talking down to me ever since I was a kid. It don't happen so much now but it still happens some times

I've always hated people talking down to me ever since I was a kid. It don't happen so much now but it still happens some times

I've no idea if it happens to me,but on the subject of age mistakes, for the past couple of years I am often mistaken for a child yet I'm coming up to my 22nd birthday, when I was under 18,I was getting into places with a 21+ age minimum,confuses me endlessly.
When I was applying for a loan with my parents last year,a bank worker told me I look like i'm 14.

Concerning the word salmon -- why, it must be a Southern word....Lawd knows we leave ouyewt haff the lettuhs in most wuhds and add sillabuhs t'awl th'uthuhs.

Seriously: Webster's Third New International Dictionary, Unabridged has this to say about salmon:

"Etymology: Middle English salmoun, samoun, from Middle French saumon, samon, from Latin salmon-, salmo"

So it looks like the spelling changed from an l-less version to one with an l somewhere in Middle English, but the pronunciation didn't change with it--though apparently the pronunciation did make the change when the spelling went from Latin with-an-l to French without-an-l. But then the French pronounce even fewer than half the letters they use in any given word

--Grayson, who can interject her language obsession into *any* thread given the slightest opening

My children talk down to me and brusquely order me around. If I object they accuse me of "taking offense over every little thing" in a weary tone, but I have run this by my friends and they all say the kids are being incredibly rude.

I ran this by their daddy, who used to talk to me the same way and I'd always argue with him (and never win.) He mildly said they were "bossy".

For what it's worth, they're in their late 30s. I don't have the kid theng to contend with, though like a good many other members of my generation, I'm not as assertive as my elders or my juniors.

I used to get it from the general public, who also used to address me as "Patricia" as in "Patricia, your car is ready. Mr. Jones, your car is ready." Grrr... but that ceased sometime around 10-20 years ago.

People I deal with in school or among my friends not only don't talk down to me; they think I'm extremely bright, and I'm getting a lot of respect from my 20-year-old classmates! AND the professors!

Its one of the things that bothers me to no end. I am not always dressed the best and get dirty at work I'm also a nervous person and have to go out and deal with people after work sometimes i feel like all the see is some nut I have been followed in stores made to wait 45 minutes at the bank with them all looking down on me talking slowly cause they cant imagine someone like me with a 3000 dollar check and I'm just depositing it once I been treated poorly I'll never go back to the same place agian. With my customers I price myself at lest double if they treat me poorly that ussally gets rid of them.

Patty dear, (sorry, I just had to ) - do you think it would help if you just hollered at them when they do it? A really good "god d*** would you STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT. Now go get me a soda" or something in that vein? I mean it seriously. Not just objecting, but throwing it at them hard.

Maybe it won't help, but ever since I figured out that many bullies will stop bullying you if you make it unpleasant for them, it's a remedy I suggest to everyone .

I always address most people as equals, regardless of their ages, and this seems (for the most part) to be reflected back on me.

So I don't usually get talked down to. Usually.

Bland-When I was a small child I thought that everyone talked down to me and I couldnt figure out why all grown-ups thought that children were idiots. Now Ive seen that alot of children like the special, silly, and mostly stupid attention that adults give them so I try not to be too judgemental about it.
What really makes me mad is that people talk to my 12 year old AS son as if he is deaf and ret*d!! ! His Grandparents (on his fathers side) do it, but they treat all of their grandchildren like theyre 5 until their breasts are bulging or theyre 6 foot tall and they finally figure out that little Suzie or Johnny has grown up. This is very disappointing because my husband must have inherited this trait; my AS son hates the way his dad relates to him (the other kids also) at times and refuses to respond. This infuriates my husband who has good intentions but is an incredibly slow learner so his relationships are less than honest and strained. Some people just dont appreciate "silliness" a.k.a "stupidity"! !! At school and in the public in general people think that my son is ret*d or deaf or both. They yell things at him in a slow and overly animated way. This is so disgusting to me. The sad part is that he loves the attention so he will act even more severe and be more loud and goofy. This is a cycle. But later, he'll be angry and complain about how hes tired of being treated like a baby. Even some of the school staff who should know better engage in this mocking behavior. Hes not stupid as he sometimes appears but he has a speech impediment and talks too loud, due to supersenitive hearing, and does put the accent at odd intervals, and also his voice goes up where it should go down and visa-versa. He also gets nervous and just starts acting stupid so people think that he is. Ive tried to coach him on this but he just gets frustrated with me. Thankfully, he has a wonderful speech therapist and counselor at school who have coaching sessions with him and other students with like problems. I sure hope he grows out of it because I know that he has more to offer than that behavior and obsessions that no one cares about. (Please dont be offended, How many of you could converse for hours about chocolate bars and soda pop?) I'm not downing my kid-Im being honest. Reading your posts on this site has given me so much enjoyment and hope and I really appreciate the honesty and insight here. Can anyone tell me if they were (are) similar to my son and how theyve grown and coped?