why do NT get mad when they know you are right?

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For me, I have to be 'proven wrong'. If the logic is there, I have no trouble accepting it as logic is what I go by. I am actually delighted to learn something new. And, if I come across something that will 'devalue' my position, I will still bring it up because it is information. To paraphrase 'Mr. Universe' "There is no side. There is only the truth of the signal." I choose the signal. Sometimes, it's trying to get the signal through all the noise that's the problem.

For me it's the backlash when I do admit I was wrong. It's usually something like "Why didn't you accept it?" or "Why should we have to prove something to you?" Which really strikes me odd because I have to prove things to them all the time.

I was fortunate in that my father likes to correct everything. Annoyed the hell out of me growing up as it wasn't about the corrections. It was just correcting everything and many times wrong and that caused much friction between us. Especially since I have trouble getting the right words out when trying to make point.

Basically I do try to learn from examples I witness.

Ah yes, I have seen quite a few of them and they are utterly annoying. They can't tell the difference between fact and opinion and speculation and fact. Just because you speculate or make an assumption doesn't mean it's true. For me to believe something, I have to find proof like if I come up with a theory, I am not going to believe my own theory and sprout it as a fact unless I prove that theory is true. Other people sprouting the same theory does not make it a fact. It just means they share the same thought as me. Or otherwise it's just my opinion. Both my ex's were like this and it was annoying.

It would always annoy my mother when I would ask her where did she get that information, how does she know that whenever she would talk about something and she would get defensive and she would say "I read." I just want to be sure it's actually a fact than an opinion. I will also ask people "how do you know" because I want to see if it's a fact they are telling me or just their opinion so they are just making an assumption about a person. I want to see how they came up with that opinion about someone. I have been described as a "prove it" person.

I did this all the time growing up. It was even worse because my Dad was one of those people who would make stuff up if he didn't know the answer to something. It was INFURIATING, and he was always telling me I was wrong about stuff I really knew about. I finally learned to just let things slide so I didn't get stuck in some pointless argument about unimportant things. I also learned to memorize my sources so I didn't get accused of being ignorant.

During our upbringing, we're often told we need to learn to lose and to accept being corrected so we can improve ourselves. Silly, sheepish kids like I was accept it as a universal rule for life, expecting others to do the same. Little did I suspect people only accept corrections from others as a submissive gesture towards superiors, and reäct defensively in any other case. So we really tell kids they have to put up with being corrected not to help them learn, but so they know their place as inferiors.

It'd have been so much clearer had they said, "I correct you, rightly or wrongly, because you're dependent on me and I'm stronger than you, so you have to put up with my crap. I, on the other hand, won't tolerate any correction from you, rightly or wrongly, because I don't have to put up with your crap and can afford to systematically dismiss anything you have to say as a childish antic. If you don't like it, tough!".

As a parent, I would like to offer the other side of that. At least for me. I am not commenting on your parents.

Most of what you said is true. As a parent, you are the boss and you have to make the decisions, right or wrong. Kids, no matter how bright, don't know squat about the world. Even up into their late teens.

There is no manual. And, parent's are not bullying you. Well, many of them are not. Many are abusive idiots that will scar you for life.

But, I always accepted reasoning from my kids. I challenged them for their reason. You want this? Why? It's not needed for your survival. That sort of thing. One of the reasons I have a great relationship with my daughter and her mother is basically nonexistent in her life right now. Mostly for your above sentiment.

But, most of us are just trying to be the best we can. And, well, kids just expect us to always get it right.

I think people people in general have troubles with that, not just NT people. I dont think people with autism are any better at that tbh. So yeah, its mostly just a general thing?

I think that the primary problem is, that NT's have another focus than many aspies when engaging in a conversation.
My primary focus is the contents of the conversation, and the process of exchanging information. I'm kind of a "knowledge junkie". NT's seems to be perfectly happy talking about ... nothing actually. How bad the weather is, talking ill about people they think are stupid or weird or arrogant. Just to create an illusion that they are better than the others.

Probably the same reason that reality-shows are so popular.

It's an unspoken social contract. "I don't like to be corrected, so if I don't correct you, then you don't correct me". The primary goal is to be accepted and be part of a group. In that perspective, it's actually understandable, that they get angry. Maybe they see it as an aggression, as if we are trying to put them down, and turn the group against them.

I haven't noticed if people get more angry when they are corrected in a group-setting than one-on-one, but that
will be my next social experiment.

If I join a conversation, I tend to kill it off rather quickly.
And if I decide that the topic is more boring that watching paint dry, I tend to drift away into my own thoughts.
Until somebody notice it, and ask if there is something wrong.

If I'm "lucky" somebody try to include me in the conversation by asking what I think ......

... another anoying NT-trait: When they ask you about your opinion, you have to guess, if they REALLY want your
honest opinion, or just another lie......

When somebody - by the use of logic of course - shows me that I'm wrong, it motivates me to learn to be better.
Often it motivates me to spend hours online to get it right!

And by the way..... I get VERY stubborn, when someone insist that I'm wrong, without presenting a valid logical argument....

And another anoying trait.... If you are in a conversation where the others agree, they sometimes don't even
bother presenting a valid argument ...... As if knowledge and truth was a democratic disipline.

I don't like groups. I don't like conformity. I've experienced many times how people I thought i knew one-on-one suddenly became strangers in a group-setting. Doing and saying things that I could never have imagined.

I prefer spending time with close friends that I know well, where I don't have to feel like an actor playing a role
i don't like over and over again.

I understand the concept of the white lie. I just can't do it worth a damn. And, I just gave up on the opinion thing. I just tell them what I think. Too old for that run around.

Now that you mention it, I have noticed a bit of that Jekyll and Hyde thing as well. Just never crystallized before.

Let's be frank. NTs are not the only humans who have a corner of self righteous indignation. My Aspie husband can be an unbending absolute ass, even when he is clearly and obviously in the wrong.

What makes it worse for him, is he starts with weird red herring argument about how society is in the wrong, and it winds up sounding like the Unibomber Manifesto.

Then, (of course ) everyone just walks away from him, thinking he is one neuron snap away from human hunting.

Noone like to be told that they are wrong, especially if they believe they are right. My husband lost his job because technically he was right, but when you look at the huge big picture, that right/truth didn't mean much. The company just dumped him. It wasn't worth the hassle of dealing with him.

"Why do NT get mad when they know you are right?"

I think that most NTs do not get mad when they know you are right. It is mainly the habit of a certain type of personality: manipulators.

Manipulators are compulsive liars, lies are "Their truth".
They also construct a logic with all their lies.
And when you show them the truth, it is possible that they find it illogical, because it does not fit at all "Their truth".

I totally agree with you, that he seems to be behaving like a child denied of candy... Everybody are treated unfairly from time to time, but this is certainly one of the times where he should have kept his mouth shut. I have done something like him a lot of times. But fortunately most of the times not with those unfortunate consequences.

When I encounter these situations, I do everything I can to avoid reacting based on feelings, and get away from the situation, retreat to my safe place (home), calm down, so that I can think about it in a rational manner. I do use a lot of time to plan ahead and try to prepare my options. It works most of the time. I just have to realise that the situation is getting out of hand. The action is already thought through.

If I am sure, that i am right, then I dont even think about the consequences in the situation. No price is too high. I spend a lot of my enenergy coping with the social aspect, trying to keep the chaos manageable. When a situation arise where my strengths, logic and rational thinking leads me to the right solution, and others disregard than solution without reason, then the frustation and lack of meaning easily overpowers me without a plan. It is like being told that 4+3 equals 10, and you just have to accept it.

I have a friend who has post traumatic stress disorder (veteran). If somebody is putting to much pressure onto him, so that he is loosing control over the situation, it is very likely that he goes into fight mode if he cant get away. He has learned to recognize the situation early enough,so that he kan get away, without the risk of hurting somebody.

Unfortunately right or wrong is often secondary to authority. So there is no other solution for him other than to learn to walk away
once in a while (the boss and the police would be a good start)

I hope that you can use my toughts .....

Being right is rude.

^ is it right?
Please do not give me a rude answer

Because NTs are often always wrong and won't admin it.

Uh, I think you're wrong about that.

Correcting someone in front of a group is rude. I have a "feeling" that you never think you're wrong. Just my opinion.