I prefer the company of non-autistic people

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In, my lifetime I've meet two autistic people in person, all related to me, though. One is my brother (There_is_only_1_you), and another my Stepbrother. I Wish I could meet more, but whenever I see someone who is autistic, I always get nervous and flee.

I've only ever met one high-functioning person with ASD, and he was really annoying. I don't believe I've ever met another one. So I have no idea. I am supposed to go to a group or something to meet ASD people, but I haven't yet.

i have mostly autistic friends. my boyfriend isn't autistic. i have some nt friends. ive gone to social groups and events for autistic people a lot and sometimes i get on with people and sometimes i dont.

i think it can be hard if two people have social deficits for them to interact. there are some people who im incompatible with because of our autisms clashing, but more so i find its our personalities attitudes and goals that make us not get along so well.

I've found that the people I get on with best are the mum's of autistic people. I used to wonder why all my friends had Austistic children (excepting my oldest friend who is a special needs teacher with an ASD husband). After I was diagnosed it became much clearer. I was able to understand their children's needs and had no issues with doing or avoiding anything because they needed things that way. Also I didn't have any of the prejudices you sometimes see when an autistic child has a meltdown in a public place so I could be friendly and suportive in those situations. As well as that, they were really good with working with autistic people and this kind of helped me enormously without any of us being aware of it.

In terms of regular ASD vs NT people I think I prefer NT nerds who share my interests and ASD people who share my interests. So, anyone with common interests is fab. If I don't share an interest with someone then I do have a preference for people on the spectrum because I don't get lost in their conversations and I can be more myself. It's less effort to try to fit in and get along. I do understadn what the OP is saying though about how NT people who are friendly and aware can help to fill in the gaps - I find that too sometimes but such lovely people are not everywhere.

I miss the days when I and my whole family and pretty much all of my friends were eccentric - not disordered. We celebrated our eccentricities and though they made us unique.

Now I know better, most of us have both an Axis I and Axis II disorder (did the axes disappear in DSM V?). I find some of these folks fairly toxic to be around. I know some of them feel the same about me.

So I think it's accurate to say I prefer non-autistic people, and yet, most of my family and friends are still diagnosed with one or more psych diagnoses.

The main things I object to are the verbal stims and the lengthy disquisitions on narrow topics of conversation. You know what? These get on my nerves. So much so that I have dumped one friend for disquisitions, and told a family member "enough with the squealing, you're an adult now."

I am just being honest. I feel a little guilty, but the fact is, NTs get on my nerves less. That's assuming I don't have one as a roommate or next-door neighbor, then I might wish for a heavy dose of old-fashioned eccentricity.

Not sure if I've met any autistic people. Most of my friends and family have some other neuro issue, so I wouldn't call them neurotypical.

It makes me pretty anxious to be around people who don't follow all the normal social rules. I already have that problem with some presumably typical people from different geographical areas.

I tend to get along best with intelligent and slightly demented people of a nonjudgmental nature, regardless of neuro status; throw in a sense of humor, and I don't even really need the intelligence. I have that classic Aspie trait of seeing humor in some really odd and dark places, so I really appreciate people that get that without getting offended by it, and honestly, judgmental is probably my least favorite personality trait overall, and it's unfortunately common among Aspies.

I hear you about the special interest thing, I long ago learned the best tactic for attending autism groups was to always have a drink in your hand, so if someone buttonholes you with a boring interest and won't take a hint, you can down it and excuse yourself to refill, then go talk to someone else. Crude, but effective.

I prefer company of austic/aspie people ... depends generally. They are usually the nerd, geeks, gamers, tv binge which are hints that they have aspie traits but definitely no one here will declare he/she has Austism/aspie.

they have some deep interest of subjects , and doesn't keep back on their words.

My date seems to be NT but signs of aspie. but more NT people pulls me out of my comfort zone and let me have some fun if they are the understanding ones that knows I am quiet sometimes. Observing them let me learn their differences but extravert NT especially loud ones get on my nerves and completely drain my energy to keep up with them.

I only know aspie in this forum, i can say that i far prefer by far any post on any subject by an aspie here than most NT e-mail or sms or conversation.

Wow, a lot of posts here while I was busy. I'll try to respond to these but will likely miss some people. I have read it all, though. I'm going to only quote the parts that I have a particular response to.

Seeing a lot of interesting and different responses, here. It's nice to see a discussion going on.

Oh god, yes. I mean... it's fine that people are so into something that they're able to go on about it like that but at a certain point you need to recognize that other people are not there to be an audience for a speech about it. I think if I found a good way to tell other aspies to stop I'd get along with many of them better.

I actually don't care if it's something I'm interested in; this stuff just goes on way too long.



Sold! I'll remember that one!



You know, I actually might prefer "extroverted but understanding". It's kind of a tossup between that and more introverted NTs. I really should try to spend a little more time with other aspies but I'm actually afraid to do it. It's gone so terribly before that I think I'm a bit traumatized by it. As it is, I can kind of stand being around maybe one other aspie with whom I have some sort of common interest, but only for a short period of time and only if there's an NT around to keep things from getting too weird.

More than that and it seems to put me in a very bad place.



I think online communications are easier for a lot of us. I can communicate with other aspies online pretty well. Offline, not so much.

I don't think that how well I connect with people or how much I enjoy their company has anything to do with whether or not they're autistic.

I like to hang out with "like-minded" people, meaning people who share interests/perspectives/experiences with me....and people like that might be autistic or not.

I get on best with a particular type of person that I suspect is more likely to be found amongst the neurodiverse. But coming here has been an education - turns out it's not only the non-autistic who need to be told that, when you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie.

If you're a bit weird and messed up, tending to introverted, easygoing ego, smart, quick-witted with a dark and dry/acerbic humour, we'll probably hit it off. The further someone is from those traits, the less I'm likely to feel I have anything to say to them.

Mrs Hopper, the person I've found easiest to communicate with, thinks she's probably autistic, and I'd agree. Her family - late father, mother, sister - don't show any such signs, but I've always got on better with them, felt far more at home with them, than I ever did my sister or mother (who do show signs of autism) or father.

Sometimes I wish I had NT friends. I can get along well with other autistic people, but sometimes it feels like we can only talk about boring small talk or our interests (read: THEIR interests). I feel like I would be more able to talk about real life things with an NT. Unfortunately, NTs don't seem interested in being friends with me.

I know the program the OP was talking about and I've sort of had mixed experiences with it too. I don't really get along with other autistic people for the most part, (being one of the few girls in it doesnt really help) it's always an awkward and draining experience. And a lot of them frustrate me. That being said, there have been a couple that I have gotten along with really well.

Overall I've had better experience with introverted and nerdy NTs.

Don't give up just yet. Once an NT understands how you function, they'd want to be friends too. Not giving platitudes either. And there's bound to be miscommunication at first. But, do persevere. It's good practice and will probably lead to what you'd like.

Think of it as an NT having only ever used an iOS phone and suddenly being handed an Android device.
The former is intuitive and any idiot can use it, the latter after practice becomes second nature.

Before I started dating my other half I'd never had any contact with HFAs.
That's still the case for my friends.

But we're capable of adapting, with time. We need patience too : )

Personally I don't really care that much whether someone is NT or ND, as long as they are good people. I made a rather equal amount of bad experiences with both, and in the end it just depends on the individual. Even if that sounds kind of lame or cheesy now.