Boss demands I change immediately AS symptoms

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It is legal to fire (or not hire) somebody if their disability actually prevents them from doing the job despite reasonable accommodations. To use an extreme example, companies that own a radio station aren't forced to hire people who can't speak as talk-show DJs. Laws are different in various places, but I'd be pretty shocked if there are many places that would force an employer to hire someone who can't do a given job.

What symptoms are causing you problems? Why does the boss want you to change?

Myself, I'd quit. No use working for someone who fails to understand you as a person.

It's easy to quit, but sometimes it's much less easy to find another job and keep it

Autism defines us to a large degree. Stand up and defend yourself with pride. We are different, not worse than...

It's not that. Some places simply have almost no job offers. Where I live, a job is so precious that no one would resign unless if it's a matter of survival to do it, because it means at least months of unemployment, and that's for NT workers...

Yes, this is definitely true. My boss said it helped her understand that there were some things I simply could NOT change. She now realizes that it's a physical issue, not me being stubborn or not caring. She knows that if she gives me a long string of verbal instructions with no written version, I'll probably mix it up or forget something. If two people talk at the same time in a meeting, I will hear nonsense sounds. It's no different than if I were deaf. We can work on improving things like task management or what I say to people, but other things are going to require accommodation. She can't understand your issues if you don't tell her.

Regarding Cyllya1's comment about it being legal to fire someone if you can't perform certain tasks even with accommodation: I expect that's an issue having to do with physical ability (being paraplegic prevents one from being a firefighter) or talent (not being good with numbers prevents one from being an accountant). If this is an office job dealing with people, then accommodation is possible. We may have difficulty in dealing with people, but it's not impossible.

I got reprimanded a few times regarding how I dealt with teammates and clients, mostly with me losing my temper and getting nasty with them over their own incompetence or carelessness. I had to learn to do better--I CAN control my temper, and I don't have to point out other people's faults, at least not in that way.

Unfortunately, I only have skills and experience for jobs where you have to excel at interpersonal relationships, not just pass. Of course I would've tried to develop other skills, if I'd heard about AS before my forties.

Indeed, the long verbal instructions is one of the main issues in this job. Instead of using email with each other, team members visit each other in their offices and discuss the issue, so you have to remember everything by heart. I never worked that way before, and for me it's quite impossible to give a professional answer when I'm not sitting in front of all the data in my computer.

Background noise is also an issue - I'm supposed to have most of these discussions in the tech lab, where the background hum of the machines makes what I'm being told unintelligible.

Moondust - based on your last post, it sounds reasonable that you could ask for "accommodations" for those issues, without disclosing AS.

I have worked in places where the staff I had to deal with insist on face to face "chats", and yet they also demand "Don't email it to me, I always lose track of my emails" - so those kind of people are asking for and receiving "accommodations" for being unable to use email properly - why shouldn't it be okay for you to say "I just can't concentrate on all the information you're giving me, put it in writing so we both know what you're talking about" or something along those lines, and no offence intended but you could blame the background noise issue on bad hearing because of "your age".

Good luck