i cant understand why Non Autistics dont have obsessions

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I have friends who aren't on the spectrum who love to collect things and love sports statistics.

I have met non-autistic people with obsessions - they're obsessed with Justin Bieber, pop groups and bunch of other things. Mostly concerned with how they are perceived by society and how they look. But it is slightly different to autistic people I guess, for us it is a little... more intense.

ZombieBrideXD, non-autistics do have obsessions sometimes and I can't think of anybody who never had to some extent. Only, they are better at controlling their emotions and are careful at making sure these obsessions don't overwhelm them.

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Last edited by Skilpadde on 03 Mar 2016, 3:43 am, edited 1 time in total.: removing signature with spam

They do but most have other things they want or have to do as well. Personally I'd rather pursue my special interests but the house wont get clean, supper won't get cooked and the bills won't get paid if that's all I did. Also, my husband and kids need attention too.

So I have to think about other things.

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i used to have only one obsessional interest

I was afraid that i would lose time for "My Interest".
But only one interest is closing you the doors of the wonderful diversity of the world.
I just realized that it would be better for the balance of my life.

With time, i have taken myself to other interests, i have also tried to find different interests which can relate me to people.

Now, i have several interests and i find my life much more interesting.

Many NT's do have obsessions, it's just that they think the stuff they're into is important and cool while what we're into is stupid and worthless, when it's really what they're into that's stupid and worthless. Like owning 300 pairs of shoes or 50 dresses or watching the people on a reality show and going on about them as if they were close personal friends.

My parents are much more accepting of my interests, thank goodness. Like my mom knows how I love Disney so if she's on vacation down in the States she'll bring me back plushies and T-shirts you can't get anywhere else from the Disney Store.

My mom is obsessed with various art mediums; she has an entire studio made out of our basement dedicated to pottery painting and glasswork. The past month or so she's been all over mosaics, and we have tables covered with containers of chipped and broken glass. Of course, I don't think she's NT, she fits all the criteria for inattentive ADHD, so there's that. She has a tendency to flit between things a lot (I suspect because of the ADHD); she'll get really into something (a few months ago it was "book art" in which book pages are turned into scenery or decorative patterns) and then lose all interest in it, shifting her focus to something else. I also have an NT friend who becomes obsessed with things in much the same manner that I do. She's the one who introduced me to Star Trek as a matter of fact, and we'd watch it together for hours, and even went to Trek Con in Las Vegas in 2012. She and my mom are the only two non-autistics I've ever met with such obsessive tendencies though. I often feel sorry for people who don't have obsessions, I can't help but feel like they're missing out on a lot, because my special interests provide so much meaning and joy to my life.

I just finished chatting online with a non-autistic who has always been thoroughly obsessed with role playing games.

I think NTs are more "obsessed" when autist have more "passion".

Could it be how far an obsession can go? I used to be really into Sonic, so much that when I had to move somewhere that had no internet and a phone line owned by the nature center, I somehow, not really remembering how, got dial up put on it so I could download episodes of Sonic X by putting my computer on a cart I found and waiting until everyone else was asleep at night and wheeling the computer into the living room and hooking in the phone line. Almost got fired from the same job when I stole a company car to get Sonic Rush release day.

And my bird obsession is going strong after 20 years... why am I undiagnosed?

NTs do have obsessions, though tend to use the terms like 'specialisation' 'expertise' or 'my passion' rather than obsession to describe obsessive interest in any field. So there NT scientists who are 'obsessed' with science, NT fashion designers who are 'obsessed' with fashion, NT politicians who are 'obsessed' with politics, NT psychologists (some of whom are) 'obsessed' with behaviourism, NT autism opponents Suzanne and Bob Wright are 'obsessed' with autism, NT gardeners who are obsessed with roses, cooks who are obsessed with food, the Kardashians with getting attention from the media, and so on.

I don't think there is a binary autist/NT difference that translates into NT = not obsessive/Autist =obsessive. Fashion, legitimacy, status, economics, conformity, social conditioning - all of these and other variables determine which interests are viewed as legitimate or not.

You could perhaps call many people on the spectrum "super specialists" rather than obsessives, which would be fairer in many cases and without the derogatory underlying smear implied by 'obsessive'. People on the spectrum have been intensively socially conditioned to put up with derogratory labels though, and rarely question (or notice??) their usage, legitimacy nor the way they are used in dominant NT narratives to reinforce existing power structures which marginalise the neurodiverse.

NA's(Non- autistics) really dont have Obsessions though, they can be INTERESTED in things like Fashion, television shows, music, and books but its not an obsession.

When i say obsession i mean in a atypical sense, and instead of being interested in multiple things, theres only ONE thing they are interested in.

I have NEVER met a NA with only ONE interest, they always have multiple interests, and their interests dont really make them as happy as other people i know with real obsessions.

I hate it when people say "oh yeah im totally obsessed with something" but they're really not they just have a deep liking for something..
" a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; broadly : compelling motivation"

Not many NAs i have met meet THIS definition, in fact MOST people i have met WITH an obsession are on the spectrum and usually dont have anything else that they want to do.

obsession: an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.

passion: strong and barely controllable emotion.

obsession is a degree of interest

passion is a degree of emotion

Anyone can be passionate about their interests. Most people don't get get as deep into their interests like autistic individuals.

A perfect example of a foil: myself and an old acquaintance of mine both like Tolkien's Legendarium. He's watched the movies and maybe browsed the wiki a little. Maybe even tried to read one of the books and then gave up because of the antiquated language. He's a self described geek, he's passionate about his mainstream interests as he put it.
I've watched the originally trilogy many many times. I own the special extended cuts of all 6 films. I own many of Tolkien's books. I've read them and understood his "bible" the Silmarillion. I've put hundreds of hours into exploring the wiki. There is very little I don't know about Arda. I've put countless hundreds of hours into video games based on the stories. I listen to the films soundtracks often. I look up a lot of concept art as well. I am obsessed as well as passionate about the Legendarium.

Lots of non-autistics have just one obsession. My dad is probably BAP, but not autistic. He goes through obsessions. There will be one thing that he's totally obsessed with, usually for a few years. And he spends all of his spare time on that one thing.

Then he suddenly totally loses interest and moves onto something else.

I'm the same way with many obsessions, but they don't last nearly as long, and (usually) aren't as intense. I have to practice self-control. If I allowed myself, I would get totally engrossed, but my obsessions lose whatever fascination they have held for me once I've sucked all of the enjoyment out of them. One day, I just don't care anymore and abandon whatever it was.

Change, discover