why is communicating so hard for us?

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I have this problem quite a bit. People will be telling me something and I just end up kinda looking at them. Honestly, it's because I'm not interested most of the time. I hear their voice but my brain just says "omg... please shut up". This happens more with unintelligent people. If they are actually interesting, I will soak up every word and talk with them. I just cannot fake interest in a boring subject... like about what your social engagements were for the weekend. The worst for me is jokes. I can tell when somebody is trying to be funny, but most of the time I either don't get the joke or think it is dumb. So after the punchline I just end up staring at them. I really try to think of something to say after the joke and try to laugh but it doesn't usually happen... or it comes out forced and disingenuous.

However, there are also times when I just don't know what the hell to say. I've been listening to a person and have taken in all their information... I'm thinking about what they are saying. The speaker probably wants feedback, but it doesn't really feel necessary to me. I can fully understand them but my thoughts just don't seem to want to translate into words. On my part, speaking isn't necessary, yet I know they want to hear something. So, I usually try to say what I think they want to hear... which seems to be wrong 99% of the time. A trick I've learned is to just keep asking people questions about whatever they are talking about or are interested in. Puts the onus on them... people like to talk and most of the time they aren't interested in what you have to say anyways.

According to my evaluator, I specifically have communication problems because I am likely smarter than all of those around me, and therefore am processing whatever conversation in a different way and at a different level. This will lead to my comments on such being far different than expected by the other conversationalists.

I wonder how many other people with autism have the same dilemma? I know that an IQ deficit is associated with autism spectrum disorders, but is it actually an IQ deficit, or a lacking in the ability to adequately test those of us who are unable to communicate/learn conventionally? Is perhaps an actual excess in intelligence what actually alienates people with autism? Not rainman intelligence, not the freakish type. I'm not rainman like at all. But I'm not quite 'normal' either.