How much do you need to control everything?

Post Reply New Topic

I was diagnosed with OCD as a child but I feel it was incorrect and that it is really Aspergers, since some of the traits are overlapping and I possess almost all Aspergers traits but only a few OCD traits. But that's what happened back in the 80's; Asperger's wasn't really a "thing" back then, esp if subject was nonwhite and nonmale.

That being said, yes I need to control everything. Everything. Everything. I do like variation and trying new things, in fact I work for myself instead of being an employee, precisely because I hate doing the same boring thing every day. That said, all variation must be self-initiated and on my terms. I hate being told what to do and even worse when someone else changes things without warning.

I can relate to being sociable when I am never going to see people again. I can strike up conversations with strangers in strange places quite easily and really enjoy it, but I have never spoken to my neighbors and rarely spend time with my actual friends.

Geez I sound like a charming individual lol.

why do so many wives and GFs do that?

I don't think it's limited to wives and girlfriends. I think it's about even for both sexes.

It's so funny it's exactly me.
Another charming individual here .

Lol and I am sure you ARE very charming, no sarcasm intended ! I think folks like us need to be experienced directly, not merely described in words, to be appreciated .

Also, just re-read this:


and it reminds me of how now that I moved in with my partner, a lot of my belongings don't feel like they are mine anymore, because he is always moving my things around and it gives me so much anxiety. Even non-personal or impermanent things like cutlery and groceries - everything has its place and I feel sick when the spoons are where the forks should go, or the cereal isn't put away in the pantry. Who can live like this?! Madness!! !! *kidding*...kind of

And to Trogluddite, I liked your post very much. Yes to everything you said, from not being able to begin a task unless I know every last step that is entailed (just had a terrible argument this past weekend over that), to endless scripting of every single conversation, to decision avoidance: I wore dark jeans with black tops every day for the first half of my 20's, not because I don't like other things, but because trying to pick something new would take hours.

Yeees, I understand you Art Geek.
Although I can be messy in some things, some other things out of place are intolerable to me! For other people, that just doesnt make sense . But it's very important. Yes, as you said about your stuff moved around. I can stand it in the end, but I wont ever feel good or normal.
I also understand your thing of the clothes, I wear black cause I like it, but sometimes I decide to wear some other colour and then I have difficulties to choose the clothes to go with it and usually I don't feel that it fits. It's just so easy to stick to the same black/grey/bluejeans... It always works, and it also feels like it's me, as it always was. Like my books in the same place.
I believe I also stick to some old songs for this only reason. Some continuity in my life, something that never changes.