Autism in love

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I've watched it several times and really enjoyed it. It was very eye opening IMO.

I have not seen the movie, but I would like to address this in general terms if I may.

I think it would help with the 'understanding part'. I know it made a difference to me just to have a place, with nobody I know, that understands me right off the bat has been greatly helpful.

I cannot imagine how much it would benefit in a relationship. That instant understanding.

But, NT and NT, NT and ND, or ND and ND together, I really believe it all comes down to this: Ya just gotta find the right match of crazy. And that is for everybody. It's hard for everybody. Period.

We just have a different set of issues that will make it more difficult. I think communication would be the one I would have the hardest with.

For NT's or even ND's that like to be right up someone's butt all the time, someone like me would be just wrong. I like togetherness, but I really, really like my alone time much more. It's the only way I can recharge and it's taking longer and longer to do that.

So, someone who needs attention from me will not get what they need. I will think of them constantly. I will always wonder how to do something cool for them. But, it just gets lost somehow. So, they think I am inattentive or selfish. My every waking moment would be worry and care. But, it will not show. And, many times, they see the worry as an effort to control.

So, good for one, really bad for another. Just find the right crazy that fills and supports your deficits as much as you compliment them....and that's tough...double tough.

As Zkydz states, it depends on the Autie/Aspie, and it depends on the NT.

Some NTs benefit from Spectrumites, and vice versa.

It's possible for two Aspies to be so oblivious to each other that it's like the blind leading the blind.

People have to seek tn understand their partners.

It's definitely no deal breaker for me if someone is NT, it's just that aspies are more likely to have the traits that I want and in my experience I find it easier to connect with other ND individuals. I have only been on one date though and my idea of what I want will no doubt change.

Thanks for saying it's on Netflix! I was about to buy it from Amazon. I just started watching it now and will probably finish later tonight.

**Spoiler Alert**

Stop reading if you don't want it spoiled for you.




I agree with this assessment.

Stephen reminds me of the late Kim Peek, especially in the scenes with "Jeopardy." I saw Kim Peek for a bit when he spoke in our town. His father said that Kim, upon whom the "Rainman" character was based), had a low IQ but a very high "KQ" or "Knowledge Quotient." IQ tests are not valid for people with Autism because they haven't been normed and are not standardized for the Autism population. The results are garbage. Many times, students on the spectrum have behavioral issues, yet schools are too cheap to do adequate functional behavioral tests and parents don't know about them and don't push for them on IEPs. AS students are kept out of gifted programs because of their "low IQ's." Instead, they are placed in Learning Support programs for students with MR and are taught how to do simple tasks. So this Jeopardy genius is stuck in a menial, post office job, which he likes because of the routine and structure. His poor mom probably had to go through a lot of crap because in his youth, the Autism industry relied on the faked results of Bruno Bettelheim's "testing" where he blamed "refrigerator moms" for autism. Bettelheim has been discovered to be a fraud, but a lot of people still believe in that 60 year old fake "cause" of autism.

Dave was lucky because his "limited interest" (one criteria for the diagnosis) was a logical-analytical one, and thus very marketable. He did seem to also have motor involvement because of his ticcing, but that didn't impact his scientific knowledge. I'm still not sure what Lindsey's "narrow interest" was. She seemed high functioning because she seemed to understand Dave's point of view. Now, the editors of this documentary shaped it by including and excluding a lot of information. She also seemed presentable to the NT (neurotypical) world and was employed. I'm glad they found each other.

Lenny reminds me so much of someone I personally know. Lenny is lucky. He has self-awareness of his disability. Unfortunately, the Autism Spectrum is so unkind because it makes it hard for many AS individuals (everyone is different) to organize, plan and take advantage of all of the resources out there. In other words, to self-advocate. This is due to Executive Function Disorders, which affect the frontal lobes of the brain. It's kind of like ADHD, but a lot of people with AS can't use stimulants because it makes their perseveration even worse. Lenny sounds like he has comorbid issues of depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. He's also very social. It's actually very hard to know when a person with ASD is suicidal, because all of the signs for an NT suicidal teen or young adult are often everyday symptoms of ASD. I wish they had good, mixed ASD and NT groups run by competent people which were nonshameful for people on the spectrum. There are a few that I know of, but a lot of the programs are crap. If Lenny could get better support, good case management and self-esteem-raising jobs (he's too smart to be a bagger in a supermarket), then he'd probably feel a lot better about himself and would be less depressed. But unemployment is rampant in the high functioning Autism community and a lot of times, bright AS individuals are lucky to get *any* job.

I watch documentaries. They are not always truly nonfiction because they often have reenactments. But I love to learn new things. I used to watch scripted dramas, but they have become so badly written and predictable that they just bore me now.

I enjoyed it very much, I watched it with my NT boyfriend and he could see a lot of me in the woman character that is with her now current Fiancé.

I have my hobbies/interests and he totally understands when I need time to be quite and relax

he truly is amazing!! We have been together now for 3 years and I don't know what I would do without him, he really tries hard to understand me and my world.

I believe that you just have to go out and find someone who can handle your level of "crazy" so to say.

Scared to watch it, for now.

I thought Autism In Love was "okay". It seemed to me that Lindsey and Dave almost forced their relationship because they both have Asperger's.
It was almost painful for me to watch Lindsey force the relationship. I could see pain in her face when Dave could not meet her physical needs. I can only imagine if they were closer to one another on the Spectrum ^__^

My point is just because you both have Aspergers won't mean you function the same. Unfortunately it's a little trickier than that. I wholeheartedly support AS-AS relationships and personally couldn't see myself with another NT ever again .

I began watching it out of curiosity and ended up sitting through the whole thing. it was a decent movie, and pretty relatable. I do wish there was more diversity because it is only a small sample, but that would be impractical for the length of a movie so I forgive them. what I wasn't expecting though, is that it was mostly painful to watch rather than heartwarming, even in scenes like the proposal which were supposed to be like that. also, that kid (I forget his name) has a super cool mom. i wish he listened to her more.

I had to watch the movie for work and this was pretty much my feeling on the film. Glad I saw it, but it was hard to watch at times.

This is me too!! I've never heard anyone else say this before.

I never watch movies either because it's new characters and a new scenario to me and I seem to only ever go back to the familiar.

I never really watch new movies because they aren't really targeted towards my demographic. Most are remakes of older movies or those which appeal to adolescent males. Many are so predictable that you know what they are going to say before they say it. I used to like Charlie Kaufman, but he doesn't seem to be writing for movies anymore. I liked some Coen brothers movies, but some are kind of weird. I did like The Big Lebowski. Of course Kubrick is the "directors' god."

My taste in music ranges from classic 60's through 2k. I like adult contemporary. I don't like stuff made for teenagers.