who here is lousy at dealing with anger?

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Expressing anger is not the same thing as losing control of your behavior.

Anger can be expressed in safe, appropriate, and controlled ways that do not harm self or others (e.g. respectful words; behaviors like exercise, making art/music, or punching a punching bag). Expressing anger can be very healthy so long as it doesn't harm anyone.

Many ASDers and other neurodiverse people have difficulty controlling their behavior when they are experiencing strong emotions like anger, it's not an NT thing.

Sometimes when a person lacks self-control when they are experiencing strong emotions, it's due to lack of effort, or lack of appropriate help/support to learn, but other times it's just something a person struggles with to some degree no matter how hard they try or how much support they receive.

I also think most NT's would agree with you that losing control over behavior when experiencing strong emotions like anger is a bad/dangerous thing.

I agree and it's not healthy at all to bottle up emotions like that.

when I was in the army, my only outlet for my accumulated anger at all the brassholes hassling me, was to run in the woods, and I would imagine the faces of my tormentors on the soles of my running shoes and i'd grind them into the dirt with every stride.

anger, in that respect, gave me more energy to do stuff with, but it had to be physical and non-cognitive stuff, otherwise I could not concentrate on anything requiring sustained thought, the anger interfered with that.

This.

I am coming to grips that I have anger issues as the people who evaluated me noticed it. Soooo.......

Brassholes...LOL Ever serve at Ft. Benning?

But, I have broken things, put my fist though walls before, even ripped a phone off the wall once I slammed the handset down so hard. Yep, they had phones on the wall in those days with huge handsets. We even had to dial sometimes.....We could even play tunes with the numbers....

But, I am having to come to grips with the same it carries as well.

ft. sam, ft. Belvoir, ft. Jackson only. plenty o' brassholes to go 'round.

That's true. I was asking because I worked on Ft. Benning for a short while in the 80's. I worked for the 175th Ranger Battalion. Second time I held a top secret clearance LOL

We were so secret that we even had our own fenced in compound with razor wire strung over the top on the main base. LOL

if you don't mind me askin' what was your line of military work in the navy?

Ping Jockey...
Sonar Tech.

when I was in the army, my time at academy of health sciences/ft. sam, told me that the navy and air force were much more stringent in their academic requirements of the navy/AF servicemembers, than what I had to do in the army. the MOS I was in was only 12 weeks, but the navy and air force versions of the same MOS were a YEAR.

I can get rid of a lot of anger when i go out on my bike.

But if I don't get rid of my anger that way I have no way of expressing it.

^^^hopefully then, you have both indoor and outdoor bicycles at your disposal.

^^ I do indeed but I use my bake for work so I cycle about 60 miles a week.

^^hopefully all that biking is successful at keeping you on an even keel enough of the time.

my problem is that i do not express my anger in a positive way, or not at all.

it fills up...and it fills up, just fills up, and overflows into my brain. can't think straight. or i yell when i do not mean to and i never can take it back.