Mutism

Post Reply New Topic

I learned something about the term "selective mutism" when my psychologist was researching my own mutism and sent me a paper on it. It seems that some people will speak only to certain people, e.g., family but not at school. So that's what the "selective" is intended to denote and it's different from what happened to me forex in my first three years when I knew how to speak but couldn't speak to anybody.

I always find it hard to get people to understand that it's possible to know that you can talk but be unable to! My parents told me that during my mute period, they'd sometimes catch me practicing talking when no one was around. Which is a good thing, I suppose, since given how little they knew back then I might have ended up in an institution somewhere . . .

I have had extensive speech therapy and can talk some if I have to.
But I prefer not to, even with family.

I am sure NTs get this way too at times. My youngest brother didn't like to talk in the morning so he would just ignore you. My mom is also the same way when she has had a hard day at work and comes home tired, she would tell us she didn't want to talk and she is tired. I don't want to talk at times and it's also because I am very tired and I can't process the words and I have to force words out of my mouth. I am that way too when I am too engrossed. I do not like to be interrupted and I am just anxious for them to shut up and I don't want to talk. I just tell my husband now "I am trying to read." That is also why I don't want strangers talking to me because I am playing my game. Plus I don't care about what they are saying and I am not interested and when I am too focused on something like trying to stay calm during anxiety because I am so anxious, I find it harder to talk and I am more zoned out. I would prefer to not say anything.

I lose the ability to speak, when in sensory overload, but haven't found it to be longterm.

Thanks for the link to this discussion, C2V. I'm so glad to read everyone's replies, here, and realize that I'm not the only one struggling with this.

I just wish I could go mute sometimes,but for everything everyone expects an answer and if you don't you'll be perceived as rude.

When I have selective mutism it is because I have a passive/aloof social style.
I don't initiate social interaction. I don't know how and have no motivation to do that.
Mostly I just interact and talk with my family.

I dislike talking and generally try to avoid it. Some people think I'm mute until they get to know me.

I can never think of anything to say, other than things that no one wants to hear.

^That's exactly how it is for me!

I have many things to say, but a lot of people don't seem interested in mythology or New Age spirituality or metaphysics.

I went through several years of selective mutism as a child, the only "mute" situation being school. At home I talked freely to family members, presumably because I was more comfortable at home, even though our family life wasn't perfect. But at school I was not comfortable and I just shut down and stayed that way during school hours. Teachers talked to my parents about it. My parents refused help or to acknowledge there was even a problem. I knew the answers in class and never spoke up and it started to become an issue. I rarely responded and if someone did speak directly to me and expect an answer, if I had to force myself to speak it was in a voice so quiet they were then demanding I "speak up I can't hear you." I just preferred to never have to talk to anyone as it felt too hard to understand or be understood even though I did not have language disability and in fact had a precocious vocabulary at home.

As I got older I began to overcome it, and when older still I actually overcompensated by talking too MUCH in social situations. I was striving so hard to not be silent anymore as I realized it caused all kinds of problems.