Had a diagnostic assessment - told I don't have it

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Hi Jermaine,

Thanks for your reply. I guess I found the Psychologist's verdict difficult to come to terms with as I've been searching for answers for an awful long time now, thought I'd found an answer that made sense and that I might be able to get some help for this finally, so I've taken it pretty personally that she's comes to the opinion that I don't have it after presenting her plenty of reasons why I thought that I was on the spectrum. So now I'm wondering if I do have that or if it's something that mimics it instead and having to decide if I should go private for a consultation when I can't really afford it. Maybe I'm better off agreeing with this Psychologist's opinion and saving myself money by not pursuing a diagnosis.

I agree, people on it vary greatly from one to the other, it's probably much more dynamic and complicated than a lot of Professionals even realise. Yeah, since my appointment with her I have actually been thinking that lol, that I'm a rare type of person that hasn't yet been identified and properly understood. It may well have a completely different name by then, not sure what that might be though.

Yeah, I do need to learn to accept myself, as quite a few people have told me, which is more important than seeking a diagnosis. Some of the comments my Psychologist made during the assessment did lead me to question her knowledge of the subject such as things like I seemed too curious about other people to have it after I told her that I'm very interested in Psychology, when I've seen a few members here state Psychology as their special interest. So I do wonder how much faith I can put into her opinion, though having said this she did seem to be aware that females on the spectrum present differently, so who knows lol.

Me too, I don't get what this Psychologist saw from me in our appointments to think otherwise because I sure do act a bit differently and space out often.

Hi btbnnyr,

I think you're probably right, I must've done somehow, in the first or second appointment I had with her she told me that she "didn't feel like I have it".

I think I talked about the trouble I've had with socialising and making friends, that I don't have many friends now and feel lonely as a result. I think that I mentioned that I've had problems with friends because I accidentally hurt them emotionally and didn't understand why they felt that way, not doing enough for people and being unaware of it until it's too late. Not knowing how to maintain friendships and relationships and how to get close to people. My weak social skills are making it difficult to get a job and also feeling like I shouldn't bother applying for jobs that require a lot of social interaction because I wouldn't be any good at them. Having problems with becoming independent and moving out such as not feeling mature enough and unable to balance all of the responsibilities I'd have, I still don't have a clue how to manage some aspects of my life. But maybe I didn't go into enough detail about this stuff as I could've done during the assessment.

Yeah, I see what you mean, feeling different from others is actually a pretty common internal feeling that many people have, even people you wouldn't expect to feel like that who fit in really well, who have done well to mask that feeling outwardly and by all appearances look happy. I don't think I'm able to think of a better way of describing it, I guess it's just that I've tried to be myself and do what others have to make friends, to make the life that they want but I've been unable to relate and connect to almost every friend I've made, lost nearly every friend I've had and don't seem to be able to have a good quality of life. If the reason isn't Autism then I'm afraid of what else it might be.

Last edited by VelvetRose on 18 May 2016, 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I would suggest try getting help in your problems by seeing a psychologist or something or a psychiatrist but don't focus on any labels, only on what your problems are.

Hey League_Girl,

Sorry, I meant to get round to replying to your other post, as you can see I've replied to a couple of posters but haven't gotten to yours yet. I appreciate your last post though as sharing your experience has told me that it's difficult for the Professionals to agree on what diagnosis they think you have, as one opinion to the next will inevitably vary. It makes it a bit of a pain for the patient involved though lol, to say the least.

Yeah, I will just do that for now I think because it's help that is what I really need, I just thought that perhaps getting a diagnosis would help all the people involved in my life to understand me better and give me help that would be better suited to what I've already tried.

*sighs* I'm afraid I'll be told the same thing, even though I'm certain I have Asperger's syndrome. There's just nothing else that explains... me, I guess. Why I am this way. I've learned to cover up my symptoms pretty well on the outside, but my mind is chaos because I'm always spending up all my energy on faking it. My mom thought I was just really shy and had OCD, and my teachers said I was smart and quiet. But when I'm having all these other weird thoughts in my head, and don't know how to do things that seem like instinct to other people, I know that I'm not 'normal'. Kids at school always knew that much; that's why they always called me 'special' until I learned how to play pretend 24/7. I know I'm different; I just don't come off that way to most people because I suppress everything.

Why don't they have people with autism do the diagnostic assessments? Surely they'd recognize their own disorder better than an NT.

Anyway, OP, I think you're on the spectrum if you do. I get the feeling that autism is difficult to diagnose correctly.

I wonder if there are any other social awareness/communication disorders besides autism. It sucks not knowing the answers. You seem self-aware and intelligent; I believe you will continue to discover them. I know I keep discovering mine, even though therapists I've seen haven't been as helpful as I would like about social stuff.

A lady I know had an assessment for autism that had the result "not on autistic spectrum, has anxiety issues, will probably grow out of them." She had another assessment with a different diagnostician which had the result "autistic spectrum, severity level 2, requires a lot of support." I figure that proves how wrong diagnosticians can be.

I get the point that we shouldn't worry too much about the label we get or don't get, but in this case the second result led to her getting SSDI and a raft of adjustments at college, without which she would now be in deep academic and financial trouble, because of her disability.

Wow, that's terrible to have two completely opposing diagnoses. If she really needed the help, it sounds like the second diagnosis was better. What sort of accommodation do universities provide to students on the spectrum. I know they might qualify for extra time on tests, or maybe a separate testing location if they have sensory issues? I've heard that some students can get tutoring as well.

Yes she gets extra time for tests. They give her the written lecture material for her to study ahead of the lecture, as she absorbs very little from traditional lectures. She's no longer expected to have face-to-face conversations with the bureaucrats and the bigwigs who run the courses, she can email them instead. They're now very lenient with her over timekeeping, as it's usually due to panic attacks. She's allowed an emotional support animal in her campus room. She can keep the same room, and as far as possible the same room-mate, to reduce the problems of social readjustment and disturbance to her routine. Basically, if they try to force her to do anything Aspie-unfriendly, or mark her down for failing to do it, if it's in her diagnostic report that she can't, she doesn't have to. Though it practically took a sledgehammer to get them to implement anything at all, even post-diagnosis. They'd say they'd do it and then she'd discover they were still acting like the diagnostic report had never been filed. It also took a sledgehammer (and a solicitor) to get the SSDI benefits. It's almost as if the powers that be don't care about the cognitively disabled, and will fob them off with nothing if they can get away with it, so the diagnostic report serves as a fundamental weapon to get them to co-operate.

Ah OK, I understand now. Thanks for the insight. Sorry to hear she has panic attacks; they're awful! I've had a few, and I don't want another one I had mine while traveling, and I had to call someone to talk me down, or run to get rid of the adrenaline.

Indeed, panic attacks can be horrific, even to observe. She can become a complete soggy heap or get uncontrollable hyperventilation at the slightest stress.

Obviously we can't say whether you have or don't have ASD, but saying you can't have it because you have good insight into your condition because you self diagnosed and educated yourself before the assessment.

By the time I had mine, ASD was my special interest still had my diagnosis. But it was based mostly on how I communicate, not what I say about my symptoms. I mean, yes we were talking about that but they didn't ask questions to clarify. It seems like it was an excuse really to observe how I behave when I'm having a chat. Then later I had a big form to fill in about sensory issues.

It's shocking to me than within the same country the assessment process can be so different.

I understand your dilemma as im going through a similar experience myself... My first psychologist had pointed it out and when i researched it i realized there were too many similarities (ie 99%) that pointed me as being on the spectrum, i have tried to get a formal assessment however i have dealt with people that have very little experience with those on the spectrum... Ironically i had a flatmate studying psychology that mentioned if i dont get the diagnosis dont feel bad about about getting a second opinion, i found this odd as at the time in that thinking that they would have enough experience to understand ( also this flatmate had an aspie brother) thus put my trust in their professionalism, but after witnessing the so called professionalism i realized these individuals had a very narrow minded grasp of the spectrum, i then called AutismNZ and explained my circumstances and what was said, only to hear a deep sigh on the other end, she mentioned many of these ""professionals"" have very little understanding of those that are on the spectrum and dont really know what to look out for, however to get an assessment with someone that has had a good relationship and understanding of those on the spectrum could be anywhere from 6 months to a year.. however for me i do feel its important so would therefore advise seeing someone who has vast experience in this area, for being female especially, many traits can be hidden due to mimicking of other females etc and only those that have experience in this area will be able to pick out the subtleties... Ironically after doing much of my own research i have recently being able to pick out other aspies i wouldn't have been able to do before, in person and online.. So it really is down to experience i think and research and understanding.. many of these experts look at old stigmas and use the DSM as a bible and have tunnel vision, if you dont love railway numbers and train times they may feel your interests dont fall in that said category! So try to see someone with experience in this area, As the lady mentioned on the phone, if i have done the research and feel deeply that i am on the spectrum its 99% sure i likely am... Dont let it dissuade you, just seek the RIGHT professional! I always knew i was different myself, but didnt realize how much so when after talking to the odd professional how different my mind works from most others... I also understand as someone mentioned about not worrying about a label, but a part of me disagrees with that statement especially when it comes to being on the spectrum, as its not so much about the label, but the huge sigh of relief knowing and then being able to look at adapting changing things that may work for those on the spectrum, as many psychologists tend to use certain mythologies that may work with NT minds but certainly dont come close to helping those minds connected to said spectrum... everyone is a genius and its finding the right methods for you that work to bring out that inner creativity we all essentially have, just one method of teaching doesnt fit all!.. best of luck!