What are your social difficulties?

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I'm actually very good at not steering conversations toward my interests and going on and on about them; what I'm not good at is contributing to conversations with more than one other person. I get lost in how quickly things move and how topics change, and I can't keep up with the pace of these conversations. If I'm just talking to one person, I can usually hold my own, although I don't talk much for the most part and let the other person do most of the talking because I can't think of responses.

- Making a lot of pauses and saying um a lot while speaking.
- Trouble making eye contact while talking.
- Saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
- Talking in a weak or monotone voice
- Not knowing what to say when someone makes a comment.
- When someone makes a joke I just smile because I don't know what to say.
- Not smiling enough and having a serious expression.
- Difficulty reading other people.

^I have similar problems, but I'm so quiet that I often don't say anything at all and become semi-mute.

Trouble paying attention and knowing the right thing to say, mostly.

Well

I'm actually not aware of my own social difficulties for the most part. All I know is based on what other people told me.

- lack of eye contact
- lack of facial expression
- saying inappropriate things
- being too loud
- overstaying my welcome
- talking about one subject for too long
- accidentally insulting people
- swearing in front of children
- hitting and bitting people
- telling secrets to people
- stammering
- poor sentence structure
- awkward speech pattern
- talking about awkward situations
-invasive questions
-standing too close to people

People have also jaunt told me they don't know how to react to me


Personally I know I cannot
- understand and even pick up on any body language.
- know what is appropriate to talk about
- know when I've stayed over someone's house for too long


The list goes on..

They are hard for me to describe. I know I lack some social awareness and understanding, eye contact. Saying words incorrectly sometimes and cause pauses because of dyspraxia. I can mishear verbal information...

- Not being able to read social cues (that's a big one; there are some social situations when I was shunned after some time and I have no idea what happened to this day);
- Anxiety I've acquired after repeatedly failing social expectations;
- "Saying something very blunt or candid when meaning it a different way in my head but it comes out wrong." (Thanks, LittleLu);
- Saying the wrong things at the wrong time;
- Being interrupted when I'm saying something and not being able to finish it;
- Sensory overestimulation in crowded places;
- Attention breaks;
- Not being interested at all about what the other people are saying;
- Not knowing how to react to a particularly emotional conversation;
- Smiling/laughing too much or in inappropriate moments;

That said, nowadays I can do reasonably well in familiar settings/very small groups. Things only get particularly out of hand when the situation is unfamiliar/uncomfortable/having too many rules.

Fear of success, I am always worried that a friendship will require more from me than I am comfortable giving to another person. I like my solitude and routine. Bringing people into my life is disruptive. My family was judgmental, so friends had to high achievers. This was an extra burden. It may not be true, but that was how I felt.

I think my main difficulty is saying things which I think nothing of but which others are offended by. I never seem to stop and think, I never see it coming, it will often start an argument, and I always hate myself over it afterwards. I have a lot of very strained friendships as a result. I also often talk about things which other people are bored by or just flat out don't understand. I guess I feel the same way about the things they talk about. It kind of sucks, when you wouldn't mind talking about the mysteries of the universe, for example, and all anyone else wants to talk about is football. At least most of my friends are avid readers, so we can talk about books and stuff.

Socially clueless,
Jack

Worrying about being too blunt or candid but not wanting to be fake either

Background noise can be painful and very distracting

Laughing at people when they are talking about something that upsets or angers them

Having to put so much energy into saying the right thing. I'm really good at socialising in small doses, and the less people the better. But it's so draining and tiring

Having to sit through tedious conversations and small talk

Constantly monitoring my facial expressions, tone, posture etc

Which eye to look at. I have no idea how people can look at both eyes at the same time unless they are far away. Eye contact feeling intense and intrusive.

Other people in the room looking at me. Being watched by people I'm not directly interacting with makes me anxious.

Talking over people, butting in to the conversation otherwise I wouldn't get to speak as there rarely seems to be a natural pause (that I identify quick enough anyway)

Worrying that I smell (because I can always smell myself haha)

Flirting without realising it

I have quite a lot, but these are my main ones:

-Not knowing how to start a conversation
-Not knowing how to keep up the contact with people (causing me to lose friends)
-Low self-confidence + social anxiety
-Not being able to speak and actively keep up in conversation when there is more than 3 people in the social group
-My topics of conversation seems to be boring to everyone except two of my friends