Looking for NT wives Married to AS Men

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Relationships fail for reasons too numerous to even think of listing, singling out one “possible” reason that’s not even pertinent to the majority of the population is a waste of your time (unless of course you’re interested in it) and your readers, your readers who'll most likely never experience said possibility. Talk about the abuse of executive, legislative and/or judicial power by the government or something...something tangible for the majority

There’s no point in applying bandages to a person who’s decapitated…this applies to everything.

I didn't read it that way. Help and healing could refer to the relationship.

My wife got even more pissed off after reading "An Aspergers Marriage" although it helped her understand that a lot of things.

I would suggest your story be wider than AS. Given a lot of people have AS traits but not AS, and others for what ever other reason, have touble communicating in a relationship, they can learn from how people with AS maintain a relationship.

Anyway, how about you (abbr) start off the discussion.

What attracted you to your husband?
Where/how did you meet?
What does he do that infuriates you or drives you nuts because of AS?
How do you cope?

Last edited by BazzaMcKenzie on 03 May 2007, 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

lol - that's a very Vulcan response

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Similar threads abound!! ! Posted this over in the "Getting to know" forum... with the following post edit....

Let's hold my interview right here... I usually don't get my "hair-up"...

The last Journalist I ran into that wanted to write on this subject didn't have a clue, even after deliberations in a few e-mails we exchanged...

And very much The last Person I'd want touting "expert" and trying to heal me! I don't like the "situation" here!

A restrained Welcome! Appreciate that you are trying...

Respectful regards Journalist... Beammeup

(Hmmm, hope I eighty-six’d her with my 86th post!)
_________________
Mentor the children like us...

I am not here to judge and begin debate...
Rather; To simply read and offer a view... [/quote]

Is it the wives that need help or healing? Or journalists?

Maybe she was talking about traumatic experiences? Like in childhood?

If she is columnist I really would have expected he to talk much more in depth about herself but now, that's what they seem to do nowadays.

It could be an interesting article if it is done in a way which really does bring awareness and understanding.

True...

The article should come from the viewpoint of one with AS, "it", whatever, not a blind bat...
(I need to change my tag-line)...

So, What publication will the article appear in? I'd like to read it... Journalist... Hope it is as "O_equals_true" requests...

Restrained Welcome again...

Respectful regards, Beammeup

(Edited spelling)

Abbr: As you collect your data, be wary about overgeneralizing the outgroup.

Consider this: You know a few NT females who are cheating on their husbands. Does this mean that all NT females just have an inherent tendency to be adulterous slags?

No, of course not.

This is easy to see, is it not? Self-evident, you would say.

As you continue your quest, mind the vast overgeneralizations, or the validity of your conclusions will suffer for it.

How about AS/ADHD wives married to Jerks?

Been there, never again!

See, us men don't need to be AS to be jerks we just need to be men.

Unrelated question. Why am I on that uberlist of doom? I be active. Lol.

hmm....this would be one of those "human interest" articles, along the lines of " I married a transvestite" I might be generalising, but NT's don't need their reading to be directly relevant to their situation.

possibly it will come with a little cut-out-and-keep "Top 10 signs your man is Aspergers"

and I do have to say that abbr has been beat up a little in here, it seemed to me the "help and heal" referred to the relationship, rather then the husband.

I am a NT wife married to an Aspie husband.

Our marriage was in trouble before I realised he was Aspie.

Now I accept the way he is, and know to ask for exactly what I want.

I've PM ed you previously

I have to disagree with your position on this. I am an NT male dating an AS woman that I love dearly. However, she just confided in me that she was DX with AS four years ago. Needless to say I have been reading everything about AS. Whether a spouse or partner is a pain in the ass is not the point - we are all pains in the asses - NT and AS alike. The only difference is that NTs may struggle more with the fall-out from any resolution of the problem. That is where NTs are very needy as a generalization. As a result, NTs need not only to solve the problem, whatever it may be, but also, and this is what I believe is the real rub in all of this, "NTs want and need to be understood." I know, it sounds weird and needless, but just as individuals with AS have challenges, individuals with NT have need challenges. For what it is worth - that is my two cents.

Hah! A book comes to mind... "ASs' are from Mars NTs are from Venus"

Did I get the title right? Rhetorical...

Probably need a slightly more meaningful post from me...and I shouldn't be allowed near a keyboard when exhausted

I'd take the original post to mean healing the RELATIONSHIP, not fixing something that ain't broke. I've believed from the moment I found out about AS that it's a case of being DIFFERENT not BROKEN...a surprising number of people will subconsciously know this or come to realise it with time.

While my desire to help my man achieve his full potential can often be misconstrued as wanting to fix him, I really don't. We're together because I liked him the way he was, I just knew that he had plenty of room to grow. Teenager-ish in the extreme, but to be expected at his age. If there's any help and healing to be done, it's BETWEEN us...learning to understand how the other ticks, knowing what pisses each other off or makes each other happy. He has, in the reverse, changed me a lot and made me 'better' so to speak during our time together. Because this is reciprocal after all.

To let the defensive ones calm down a bit...sure, there are changes to be made or have already been made. 'Fixing', at absolute dregs. But it's not just the AS in a partnership that's being changed, improved, nurtured. Having someone that doesn't quite fit the tiny little box labelled 'normal' teaches the NT in the relationship too...to be more understanding, more patient, less closed-minded. More aware of people's needs. More communicative in the RIGHT ways.

last reply about a month ago...

any news on this?