Theory of Mind vs Cognitive Empathy
No, I'm too old for silly games
No, I'm too old for silly games
You could have fooled me.
Thanks for the insight about the time thing. I think you're very likely right. I often need time to ponder what feelings people are trying to convey to me between the lines......I get an immediate sense of something, but putting it into words can take a bit of doing. It's much the same when I try to divine my own feelings.
I understand people have mental states of their own but when interacting with people I take what they say literally and don't attribute ulterior motives.
I also assume that people expect to be taken literally, so if there are social games going on that I am supposed to understand, I am usually blind to that.
I know I am naïve in some ways and I know other people have thought so too and have taken advantage of me and have used me and made fun of me.
If this is mind blindness, it is not due to not understanding that people have thoughts and feelings of their own, but to not being aware of or understanding social conventions about relating to people.
I'm not very emotionally expressive, I don't tell people I love them or things like that, but with the people I am close to, I always assume this is understood without having to tell them, and there is an unspoken bond between us.
This seems like the opposite of mind blindness to me.
I have no idea how often I do this or when it happens but before my son was born, my husband was saying how we had no food in our apartment. I look and I see food and I see we have a bunch of pasta. I tell him that and he says we have to order some food and I tell him we don't because we still have food. My husband keeps saying he wants to get some food and I say we have food and I keep showing him. He finally tells me "I don't want want to eat pasta, I'm not like you." It didn't occur to me he didn't want to eat pasta. I saw we still had food in the home and he was saying we needed more food so I was telling him we still had food and kept showing him what he can eat. But he used this as an example for when I expect others to be like me and not understand others are not like me.
Yes I do know everyone is different and have their own likes and dislikes and their own ideas. But sometimes I just don't notice it when it happens.
Another time my husband and I had a misunderstanding. It was streepassing relay again and I was going to go hit some McDonalds to collect streetpasses. I planned to go to as many McDonalds as I can around the area. I can usually only get 11 in one day because it's a large area and there are lot of McDonalds and traffic and it takes all day for 11 McDonalds. So my husband wanted to come long with the kids and I bring my daughter with while he stays with our son at the McDonalds playland. I am like okay, so we get ready and I drop them off and I go do my thing. I come back and it's around eight PM and my husband is mad at me and I don't know why he is upset. I had never seen him that upset with me and it hurt when he said "You should have thought of me." But he said he wanted to be here and let our son play while I go do my streetpasses. I told him this and he goes "I didn't know you would leave me here with all these screaming kids and now my ear drums are sore." So there you go, I had this idea in my head what I was going to do but forgot to tell my husband about it because it didn't occur to me he had his own picture in his head about my agenda. I had assumed. My mom said it was a miscommunication between us. I didn't tell him I was going to hit all these McDonalds and he didn't give me the time to be back by. He had assumed I wouldn't leave him there all day. He thought I was going to three McDonalds and then be back and he wanted to do something with me that day but he didn't say that to me. So he was part of the problem too so my mom told me to not blame it all on me because he was part of it too. Then he apologized to me about it and said he was just upset because he was in lot of pain from the screaming kids and he took me to Dave & Busters to make up for it because he felt so bad.
I know misunderstandings happen with everyone but they are more common in people with disorders.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
Theory of Mind is the general concept. It is when you are aware that people have thoughts and feelings which are different from your own. It means you know, fully, that another person is another person, rather than merely an extension of you.
Cognitive Empathy, simply put, is the ability to know that people have different emotions from their own emotions. It also has to do with the ability to discern that, say, somebody will be sad if a close relative dies.
I would place it more as an application than a type as there is a difference between knowing people have other emtotions, and knowing what those emotions are.
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Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes
Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html
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