deepersky wrote:
I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's by a clinical social worker. I then saw a psychologist who specializes in AS, and she said that she couldn't really confirm or deny the diagnosis. She acknowledged a variety of AS traits, which included rigidity, OCD behaviors, sensory issues, special interests and a history of social disconnection and isolation. However, two things kept her from confirming the diagnosis. One was a lack of data regarding my childhood development - I'm 55, with no older surviving relatives.
The other had to do with my capacity for emotional connection, and my current skill as a therapist. Now, I do want to make it clear that I respect and appreciate her opinion and the care she gave to her time with me. That said, I noticed several specific things that seemed to raise her doubts about the diagnosis. The first made reference to my experience at age 13, when a doctor told me that what seemed like stomach-aches were actually a symptom of my being unhappy. It was a complete surprise, but I knew immediately that it was true. I resolved to learn all I could about how to be happy. I knew I was terribly isolated, but instead of trying to reach out to people (which sounded exhausting and confusing), I spent the next 10 yrs trying to understand psychology intellectually, to figure it all out on my own. And I did learn a lot, but ouch! Nonetheless, something about this discovery and my resolve at such a young age seemed to raise some doubt for my psychologist.
At age 22, I stumbled across a group that taught average people techniques for accessing and identifying emotion, sharing with others, and focusing on achieving goals. Their work was highly structured and rational and practical, and I worked with them for 15 years. Toward the end, I became extremely proficient in their approach, and had several people tell me that I was 'naturally therapeutic'. This point also seemed to stir my practitioner's doubts. (The work ultimately led to me getting a master's in social work and becoming a counselor.)
Today, I can enter a room with an upset couple, and be present with them, reflect their feelings, and say gentle, relevant things that help them relax and decide to move forward. I can also speak on such things to a group. At those moments, I am clearly 'highly functional'. Of course, sometimes my actions don't help, and I can grow anxious, or overwhelmed and confused, and start to desperately wish I could never see them again. (Part of the reason I'm going to stop seeing couples!) I always hope that my clients either clearly just need to talk, or want some feedback, or have a direction... That it's fairly straightforward. I can be very subtle, but I need to clear path to follow. I can be very good - but at times I just wish I could share what I know without having to manage the emotional weather of others.
Similarly, at times I am relaxed and friendly with friends, or even sometimes with strangers. Other times, I barely look at people, and am fully of anxiety even with those closest to me. Nevertheless, when it comes to emotional intimacy, I am definitely 'high functioning' as I understand it.
So. I guess I'm curious what anyone thinks about the question of folks with AS discovering deeper, more subtle emotions; expressing them well to others; picking up on others' emotions; and responding skillfully to soothe or connect with others. I'm pretty convinced that I have Asperger's, yet I'm getting the message that I may be too 'therapeutic' to really have it. So I'm conflicted, and I'd love your feedback on the subject. And thank you for letting me speak of this here. It means a lot to think others might understand.
I have seen a therapist with Asperger's and while she lacks empathy, she is remarkably adept at assessing the emotional state of others.
I myself can be clueless and insensitive at times but can be good sometimes at helping friends with their personal problems. I just know what to do.
Anyway, re the diagnosis, the more I learn about Asperger's the more I realize it isn't a condition per se, but some traits that people have in varying degrees. One point I see made here again and again is that we're all different. I don't think you could point to anyone and say that's a textbook case because you'll find Aspies who are extroverts, Aspies who don't suffer from sensual overload or can read faces. etc. And we can and do learn with time, which is why diagnosis depends on early childhood.
Also, something like half of the close relatives of Aspies have BAP and so show some autistic traits, and on the other side, many Aspies display comorbidities such as ADHD. Which is to say that I think that formal diagnosis is a bit of a crock. Different authorities use different criteria, the criteria in the DSM are so vague as to be almost in the tea-leaf reading category, and those criteria keep changing.
As someone who has some Aspie characteristics and some neurotypical ones, e.g., face blind but able to interpret facial expressions, this caused me some personal distress -- I've been told that the formal diagnosis doesn't really matter, but yeah, it does, for any number of reasons. And on the flip side it's sort of become a trendy condition and people who don't really have it are being diagnosed with it by people who aren't qualified to make the diagnosis, which does a real disservice to those of us who struggle with it every day of our lives.
But I think the essence of it is that there's a continuum from BAP through ASD-3 and we're all somewhere on it in whole or in part. If you get a high score on the instruments and identify with the problems people write about here you're either BAP or Aspie or perhaps another one of the absurdly ad hoc categories so beloved by the bureaucrats of the soul -- PDD-NOS, SCD, etc.
18 Jun 2016, 5:58 am
