Aspies and Agrophobia

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I dread going out, especially alone.

The trouble with agoraphobia is that if you go out to the doctor's surgery to seek help, then he'll just say: "You're cured!" because you've walked out of your house to see him.



I can't remember where I heard that one.
This isn't my joke.

Actually, I'd find phoning the doctor up, getting transport and filling out forms very hard.

Which are reasons why I don't leave the house unless I have to.

It's a "chicken and egg", "Catch 22" scenario.


I suppose that having a family that told me that strangers were dangerous didn't exactly help my confidence either.

They never told me how to deal and converse with people I didn't know.
The only "advice" I got was to yell: "I don't know him."
It's funny how fast I've grown up.
I'm still petrified of strangers because I don't know how to deal with them.

"A stranger is someone you don't know."
For me now, that's an awful lot of people!

Because I don't know them all, according to my family, I shouldn't talk to them.
Therefore, if I can't initiate a conversation, they never become friends.
Unfortunately for me, the world is full of people I haven't met yet who, according to my family, could all be potential assaulters.

I'd also like to add that the people who bullied and were nasty to me in the past were some of the people that I knew very well or were meant to be caring for me!

The strangers, it seemed, couldn't really seem to care less, most of the time.

Some family members have physical mobility problems themselves, which meant that we couldn't get out as much as we liked when I was younger and it was a great effort to get out. That didn't exactly help much either. Everybody else seems to move so fast socially compared to them. Too fast for me. I can't keep up. I'm used to waiting around hours for people: other people can just get up and go.

If I had something to get up for and had supportive people, believe me, I'd go.
I hate hanging round the house all day.

But fear, shame, inexperience and overwhelm mean that I'm reluctant to leave.

I'm an agoraphobic in recover.

Have agoraphobic tendencies.
Sometimes I do really well, sometimes I'm a recluse.

Open spaces don't bother me but I don't like heights.

I really don't like crowds of people or standing in line.

Many people are scared of being in caves but I like them. Being in a cave gives me a warm safe feeling.