Do you try to make yourself look more intimidating?
As a teenager I used to... I was bullied as a kid, and taken advantage of by peers I mistook as friends, so I adopted an intimidating persona to keep people at bay as a way to protect myself. Wore a lot of black, fell in with the goths and misfits at school, and got very good at glaring at people... I went from being 'that shy, weird, dorky girl' to 'that quiet, scary girl... I heard she worships the devil, man!' I did nothing to discourage the rumors about me - partly because I found them amusing, and partly because it was better hearing 'that chick's a freak, stay away' than 'gross, why are you talking to her, she's so weird.'
Eventually I tried to be more friendly and open with people, but no matter what I did I'd still get told I'm standoffish, hard to approach, an 'ice queen,' a snob. I think it's because I tend to feel awkward and not know what to say, so I stay quiet and wear my 'I'm too cool for this' mask to hide my discomfort. I wasn't even really aware I was doing it until I began to suspect I had Asperger's, and learned about people (especially women) on the spectrum adopting such personas to deal with social situations. Funny thing is, I tend to bounce my legs and flap my hands and rub my face and such... asked my boyfriend about it and he said when we first met he thought I did it because I was annoyed or impatient And yeah, I avoid eye contact and looking at people in general, and I tend not to smile or show much emotion, which doesn't help... So I look intimidating even now, without meaning to.
When I passed 40 I actually started to look my age. At first I hated it because I feel quite childish inside, but then I realized since people thought I was older, they treated me better. And if I still got crappy treatment I could put them in their place by using a put down aimed at their age, hinting at lack of brains and maturity. And it works!
I mean I don't LIKE doing this because in my mind I am still younger than them even if they might be half my age, and I really don't enjoy using things against people. But I save that for situations where I really need to get the upper hand, situations that are important.
Also if you are a little bit older (if not you will get there one day), just "randomly" mentioning your own age will make it even more solid that you are to be seen from a different perspective. Myself I have been "Soon 50 for 5 years now". LOL.
P.S. I'm rather short and my voice is quiet, especially in public, so that doesn't help, even though I do have high cheek bones
Weird. You're lucky to at least have high cheekbones. I just have a wide square/round face.
It was weird. Also, because of my high cheek bones underneath my eyes are purple-ish and sunken in a bit. If I'm tired on top of that (I usually am) I look like a member of the undead XP My glasses do cover it up though, which is good because I was tired of being asked if I was feeling okay. So, I guess the grass is always greener on the other side, as they say
I just remembered that I had a friend at school who told me that at first she was afraid of me because of how I looked when she saw me on the bus. She said she only sat next to me in class because, even though I scared her, I looked familiar and she didn't know anybody else. I'm glad she did, she was funny, and I still talk to her every once in a while.
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Female | Suspected Aspergers | Tolkienist | Ravenclaw | Whovian
"I do not wish to evade the world
Yet I will forever build my own" - Tuomas Holopainen
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
I'm too much in my own world to really care how I look.
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