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Getting old as an Aspie

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drlaugh
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07 Jul 2016, 1:46 pm

My wife told me my verbal running narrative has increased in frequency. I'm in my 60's.

My comments include narration related to my father in law who lives with us.

Any words of experience are appreciated.
8)


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07 Jul 2016, 3:49 pm

I am dreading getting older. I am mid thirties now, I am a lot better at talking to people compared to when I was younger, but I am at the age where the opportunities to meet new people start to disappear, old friends have settled down, people in general are less open to new people as they get older. I am not someone who is just happy in my own company, I really crave social interaction.



drlaugh
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07 Jul 2016, 5:44 pm

For the past few months I have been making an effort to call and talk to people. I'm also back at music jams with chats.

It's much easier when I'm doing a program, than before and after.

Tonight I'm even leading a small church group. (all NT that I'm aware of)


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SocOfAutism
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08 Jul 2016, 8:08 am

BaalChatzaf wrote:
I am glad you asked that question. I am 80 years old. I consider myself an adapted Aspie. I have become very accomplished at getting along with the NT world which includes my wife and all but one of my children. I have learned by empirical means how to pass for human and it is very rare that my "Aspie self" shines forth in the company of NTs. Now and again I show my literal mindedness which sometimes annoys or baffles my NT neighbors and friends. I am too old and tired to have rip-roaring meltdowns. Actually I have not had them for close to 40 years. Also I am developing a social intuition which is close to the natural social instincts of NTs. It is like riding a bike. Once you learn to do it, it is easy and virtually impossible to forget.


I'm very interested in many things that you said here.

What interested me the most is that you referred to other people as humans. I have a growing theory that autistic people who use "othering" terms when referring to neurotypicals ("humans" "they" "those people" etc) and use some sort of special term for themselves, or purposefully use no term for themselves ("I am something else" "I am non-human" etc), have higher self esteem than other autistic people. I currently have no way of measuring this so it's just a theory.



kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2016, 8:23 am

But Aspies/Autistics ARE still Homo sapiens. We can't get out of this one.



SocOfAutism
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08 Jul 2016, 9:17 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
But Aspies/Autistics ARE still Homo sapiens. We can't get out of this one.


Well, of course. It's just a manner of speaking- like an unconscious thing that I've noticed. And when I've heard it,it always seems to be from someone who sounds like they have very high self esteem.

I'm interested in that because 1) it would be helpful for the kind of autism research I do to show that not all autistic people see themselves as flawed and 2) it would challenge existing literature that says that to view yourself as non-human is to view yourself as SUBhuman. Kind of an obviously flawed idea, but that's what's out there.

The only thing that I have seen so far that supports where I'm going with this idea is Ian Hackings' "Humans, Aliens, and Autism" from 2009.



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08 Jul 2016, 9:22 am

I suppose that anything that would boost self-esteem is good.

As long as it doesn't create swell heads--heads that believe that Aspie/Autistics are "the next step in evolution."



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08 Jul 2016, 11:31 am

Me and a lot of others don't have meltdowns - and never did. But then i've been rolled with a few extra IQ points and seem to see situations clearly and do not get frustrated easily over everyday situations. Please note that "meltdowns" are not part of any diagnosis and more of an individual trait.

The big problem for me is stress and being around people while commuting. I have prepared different routes to work and i keep close tabs on commuter problems so i do not end up in a vehicle packed with people. Most people seem to be in a desperate rush to get to work/home, but they do not realise that the next train/buss/subway car will be almost empty, it's really pathetic to see how they just HAVE to squeeze their way into an overpacked vehicle.

Also, i have less friends now when i'm older, i'm more tired and i prefer keeping in touch with the people i know over social media.


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