Why does telling NTs I have Asperger's make me feel shame?

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I don't like telling people about it because they start to treat you differently and only see your condition and dont see you as the person.

"poor kid, you don't know what you're doing. it's okay, i know you're artistic. there there"

"anyone can see you know what you're doing. everybody has problems, stop making excuses"

if someone simply knows something about you, it's one thing, but when it's you telling them, it becomes a weapon that can be used against you when you least expect, in all kinds of nonsensical ways that you can't defend yourself against. you become liable for other people's misinterpretations and deliberate distortions. the way i see it, shame means anticipating that kind of thing. it means you know in your gut that there's a significant chance that you will be forced at some point to swallow your pride and dignity because of what you just said

I am 54 and only found out I had Asperger's a couple months ago. Only my brother, sister in law and niece know and I don't plan on telling anyone else ever. The three of them are extremely supportive.

I feel shame because I am inferior to NT's. I should not feel that way but I do. Never having had even a date with a woman I feel like a total social failure. I wanted a girlfriend since the first day of school and never had one. I have so many good qualities but my virgin, dateless status outweighs them. So what if I am good at my job, loyal, intelligent etc blah blah blah. I'm still home alone at the end of the day and weekends. I read about dating and it just confuses me. This whole topic really upsets me. Yes I feel shame!! !!

Many NTs have trouble getting dates, too.

Well there is very real stigma and it is seen negatively by 99% of people

the shame more comes in for myself when I take of stock of where my life is relative to my peers

i used to be ashamed of the way the creator made me, but not anymore. I will talk to anybody that listens about my spectrumite concerns

Good for you, AB

Neurotypical society(not neurotypicals) looks down on all non-neurotypicals as inferiors.

leave those particular NTs to their respective karma then.

I agree with sonicallysensitive. Inferior is a harsh and general term, but a disability is an inferiority. No point hiding from the truth.


I'm not sure all this inferiority/superiority talk is helpful. There are lots of people who aren't particularly superior at anything, myself included. Sometimes participation has to be enough.

I'm not particularly superior in anything---but I don't think of myself as inferior.

Because I'm not. I'm a human being. Nobody who is disabled is inferior by virtue of their disability.

the way I see it those of us who are differently abled were given a special task from up above, to experience the road less travelled. and we will be all the better for it.

As long as I present myself well, dress well, keep clean, have manners,

I don't give two Effs, and three craps, what people think of me, or whether they think I'm inferior.

Because I"m not inferior to anybody. I don't commit crimes. I don't mug people. I don't don't destroy things.

outside of my kinfolk, I only care what my creator thinks of me.