somanyspoons wrote:
Two autistics trying to date is like two blind people walking down a crowded and crooked sidewalk without canes or aids. Its not that its impossible, but that its harder. Neither autistic really has an instinct for what to do for the other.
i think it depends. i highly suspect that my ex is autistic herself (it's just hard to tell for sure because she has tons of other "baggage"-type issues on top of it, and, like me, she also has adhd). it was a problematic relationship, but i think that was because of those
other issues, while the commonalities actually made things paradoxically more natural. because, besides the shared perspective (which does make a lot of difference), it also meant it was normal for both of us to "state the obvious" all the time, or ask when in doubt. there was no shame in it
meta-talk about how to communicate was a constant from the very beginning, and part of everyday talk (serious or casual). it was one of the main subjects that brought us together in the first place, months before there was any assumption of something beyond friendship, and it was one of the foundations of the relationship throughout the whole thing
the pervasive sense that "humans don't make sense" is also the main thing i have in common with the few friends i keep in touch with, and it's a perennial subject of conversation in all of its forms