The most cliched hackneyed phrase you can say to someone.

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albion9
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30 Jul 2016, 6:10 am

I understand.

No, you don't. Everyone is different and processes experiences differently. Example: two soldiers go to war/combat...one comes back and gets on with life/reassimilates, and the other is forever damaged.

Others:
Everyone has bad days.
Everyone has been bullied/picked on.



b9
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30 Jul 2016, 6:39 am

"that's life in the big smoke" or "that's the way the cookie crumbles".

another one is where someone uses an underwhelming word like "hmmm....bummer"

example:
man: how you goin' today jack?
jack: i jost lost my wife and 2 kids in our house that burned down!!
man: hmmmm..bummer.



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30 Jul 2016, 7:45 am

marshall wrote:
But if it's supposed to be someone who loves you, they are demonstrating that they don't when they make trite hurtful statements or tell you to basically shut up.


Oh, but trite, wise-sounding statements enable them to flake on you in a socially acceptable way, not acknowledging the contradiction and making you look like the bad guy. Why would they give up such a useful resource? :D


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lostonearth35
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30 Jul 2016, 4:51 pm

"You're blowing everything out of proportion". I used to hear that from my mother a lot. She doesn't say it as much now but that's partly because I don't talk about my fears and worries to her as much since I think she'll just dismiss them as trivial and an overreaction to everything even if they start to disrupt my life.



dianthus
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30 Jul 2016, 5:55 pm

The ones I hate the most are variations of "you're too sensitive" or "you just have to get over it" especially when it is followed by a shining example of how someone else handles it that the person approves of (usually themselves, lol).

I agree "everyone has problems" usually means the person just doesn't want to hear about it. And sometimes it means they are going through something bad too but they just aren't talking about it. Very dismissive approach to take though.



marshall
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30 Jul 2016, 6:15 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
marshall wrote:
But if it's supposed to be someone who loves you, they are demonstrating that they don't when they make trite hurtful statements or tell you to basically shut up.


Oh, but trite, wise-sounding statements enable them to flake on you in a socially acceptable way, not acknowledging the contradiction and making you look like the bad guy. Why would they give up such a useful resource? :D

Just because something is "socially acceptable" doesn't mean I have to tolerate it. I would dump someone who treated me that way. Screw them.



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30 Jul 2016, 7:19 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
marshall wrote:
But if it's supposed to be someone who loves you, they are demonstrating that they don't when they make trite hurtful statements or tell you to basically shut up.


Oh, but trite, wise-sounding statements enable them to flake on you in a socially acceptable way, not acknowledging the contradiction and making you look like the bad guy. Why would they give up such a useful resource? :D


My mom said "We all have our problems" a lot when I was growing up and was trying to tell her how unhappy I was. I eventually realized it was her way of saying, "don't bother me with your problems, I can only worry about my own." What I learned later was, that she was having an affair with her boss, then breaking up with him, then being stalked by him, and my dad was having affairs too, and she did not have the energy or inclination to worry about her daughter being bullied at school and getting into fights, or her sons getting on drugs and flunking out. We were smart and supposed to show up to impress her friends at parties, and not be any bother.

I look at friends now who spend so much time looking after their kids, helping them with homework, taking them to special events, getting involved with their after-school activities (and these are just the parents with NT kids). One friend with an Asperger daughter does so much for her--classes, therapy, IEPs, parent-teacher conferences. It makes me burn with rage to think of how uninvolved my parents were with the well-being of me and my brothers.


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