How do I turn my autism into a strength?

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And i'm tired of crybabies who define themselves by their diagnosis instead of at least trying to break away from it, but wont even try because they are afraid of succeeding because they have read on the forums that "We have no empathy, we cannot hold down jobs, we suck, we <bla blah blah>" and they start believing the self degrading comments these people write.

P.S. fitting alias.

I think it's good for people to try and rise above the negative circumstances in their lives so that they can realize their potential. I just don't think this means a person has to abandon things they enjoy; what you suggested before heavily implies that no one should pursue pleasureful things, and that people should instead purely pursue things that can make them money. Call me crazy, but I'd pursue pleasure over money any day, and I'd do the same even if I weren't on the autism spectrum. This is basically what I wanted to say before, but you know, it took me some time to find an eloquent way to put it, so I put my immediate reaction to throw you a bone in the meantime.

I know I have a big mouth. It's something my dad told me when I was young, and the name kinda stuck with me. I'm an opinionated guy, and I often say things that people don't like. I'm not as outspoken as I was when I was younger, because I have learned *some* tact, but when I have strong opinions on things, I often like to let people know about them.

For the record, yes I do kinda define myself by my diagnosis. I also question my diagnosis sometimes, and compare my individual quirks against other people's. When I was younger I tried not to do it so much, but after high school, reality smacked me in the face, and I eventually decided to own it. Autism doesn't define everything about me, but it does explain a fair number of things. I wouldn't say I'm proud of being on the spectrum, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It's just another part of who I am as a human being, like my eyes or my hair.

Anyway, I should probably stop rambling. I tend to do this when I'm drunk and/or sleep-deprived. I enjoy writing, but I need to be in the right mindset to get the creative juices flowing. (Note to any aspiring writers: I don't recommend drinking or depriving yourself of sleep to get inspiration, both of these things can be hazardous to your health.)

Ichinin's advice is good advice. As is getting an education. I got my first degree at age 36 and am now studying for a PhD. Getting an education changed my life around. I let many years pass me by. I love logic so study logic and evolution. These are obsessions which are useful to the world. Studying evolutionary psychology has also helped me understand humans more - aspies or not. Helped me see how hard life is for all people, the trials we all face, the selection pressures we all struggle with in order to try and thrive. Many neurotypicals don't thrive. I think my aspergers gives me a unique objective insight onto the world and into human nature which generates compassion and empathy within me.

Also get a book about people and communication skills. Read it. Learn from it. Go out into the world after learning new skills but always have your own space to retreat to.

Have to say this change was all precipitated by me being prescribed Fluoxetine for the first time aged 30 which was nothing short of miraculous in controlling anxiety, panic attacks and ocd, which were all a result of over thinking and constant self monitoring.

I enjoy evolutionary psychology.

Pure logic has its limits. Sometimes, a seemingly logical conclusion obtained via the syllogistic method really is illogical within a real-life context.

I think starting community college would be great thing for our friend.

Everyone is endorsing community college for you. Does that excite you? Higher ed is not for everyone, and we've seen many young people on this forum get into it and feel overwhelmed and quit.

It's possible you would feel better about things if you found a job that pleased you. "How do I get a job if I have no experience?" is often asked. The usual answer is try volunteering. Think about a setting that appeals to you. If you hate noise, maybe a library? If you love animals or nature, maybe work on a farm? If helping people feels good, there are endless opportunities in agencies that serve people, such as a senior center or food pantry.

The reason I'm suggesting an alternative direction besides college is that some people are very kinesthetic and learn by doing. Lots of times, colleges do not offer multiple approaches to cover all the different learning styles. If you go through the disability office at the college and request accommodations they will usually grant them, but that's a chore to do for each and every class.

So you have a variety of suggestions. Look at each one and try to assign a valence to them (like/dislike). Your personal, individual reaction to each possible path can give you a hunch as to your interests. It's still true that sometimes you can be wrong, and like/hate something much more than you expected, but you have to start somewhere.

Hey good luck, and keep in touch! You have an opportunity here to grow. If you run into a roadblock, pick yourself up and try again. (I've been watching the Olympics, and I so admire the attitude of the athletes - some of whom have overcome very big disadvantages to get where they are, like the American swimmer (female) who medaled even though she has Crohn's disease.)

He seems like an intelligent guy. Why would taking three credits at a community college be harmful for him? One class. Three credits. See how it goes.

It would be great if he knew somebody at the college; then that person could let him audit a class.

I was offering more options or perspectives, Kraftie. Also by mentioning that college might not be his thing, I suggested it might not pan out for him, which is merely honest.

I absolutely agree with your suggestions as well.

You could actually be right; college might not be his "cup of tea."

But it might open his eyes. Sometimes, people really don't know what their "cup of tea" is, until they experience different things.

Personally, this is an issue I have as well. Most of my life, I thought that thinking like this was a good thing, that it gave me power over my life that I wouldn't otherwise have. But as I see more and more problems arise, obstacles I didn't even know were there, I feel more and more overwhelmed. It makes me think... how will I ever do anything without help? How will I ever truly succeed on my own? I believe that it's possible and that it's going to happen one day. But, as for the present, I am still not sure how to get there.

But I have the determination. I have the will power. I'm an intelligent man and I know that once I find a way, I will be able to win this battle.

So my advice to you is not to lose faith in yourself. Don't have hope. That will drive you crazy. Go ahead and promote hope to faith. Go ahead and believe in yourself.

There are people who specialize in helping young men and women get themselves launched into a career. I had an acquaintance once who did this. They charge money, but it might be an option for you. Here's a link to their association in NY. If you don't live in NY, there is probably something similar near you. http://www.careercc.org/

The classic book for people like you, who want a new path in life that fits YOU and feels like a good fit for you, is called "What Color is My Parachute?" Its a good book!

If you are collecting unemployment money from the government, or if you are getting disability payments, the state will usually PAY for you to be retrained in a field that will be better for someone with autism. This is one of those things that too many people don't utilize. Why wouldn't you let the state pay for your training so you can get a new career off the ground? Everyone benefits because afterwards, you will pay taxes and give back to the state.

The truth is that whether its community collage or some kind of training in a skill like wielding or coding, (or hair dressing if that's your thing. I don't mean to put you in a box.) Getting some kind of education is the key to getting your life on a new track. Any new path you take is going to take some amount of learning so that you can have the skills you need. Education is the first step. If collage isn't your cup of tea, I would suggest looking into trade schools.

K_Kelly, check out this post in this same forum: "Giving adults w/ autism skills to build independent lives"

You've had a lot of useful advice here. You will encounter some roadblocks, but when you do, come back and talk to us about it. We're on your side.

Yep...you're thinking good thoughts. And you want to progress.

Yes, we will be here in case you have roadblocks. You could also tell us your victories, too.

If you know how to actually do this, please let me know. I'm intrigued.

Agreed. A special interest isn't something you can just drop at the tip of a hat, and it's not something you can just pick up because you're like "I should do this because I can make money at it". Developing a special interest is more or less something that "just happens".

I don't know. I think there is a certain amount of give in choosing where to use our strong focus. You can't do it all the time, but most things can lead to something else if you let it.

For example, I had to study for a bio-med exam. I had no interest in studying for this exam. But there was a show on TV called House, MD, and it starred a guy who used to play Sherlock Holmes, who I did find interesting. I watched the House show and researched each disease and disorder that was brought up. I passed that test on the first try. It had a 20% pass rate that year. My House, MD method of studying totally kicked butt. So, really, we do have the opportunity to manipulate our interests to a certain degree.

This is completely not true. You can make money off of Pokemon or any other childish stuff. When theres a will theres a will. You can completely make money off anime or any other childish thing if you're creative and passionate about. Theres a group of friends that like Dragonball Z and Naruto and Bleach all animes and they ended up making a small company together making kick-ass shirts which a lot of people buy (I've bought a few myself). I also have a friend who made a youtube vlog as well as in instagram and makes decent amount of money off those. I hope you don't think I am attacking you Inchinin, I was just letting you know. I didn't know about this being possible until a little over a year ago.

You need to figure out what you're strengths and weaknesses are as well as what you're passionate about. I would suggest making a living or life on your passion. Just follow your dream man and do whatever it takes to reach it even if its a way society doesn't think is right. Which is pretty much not going to college in my country. You don't need college to be successful.

I'll tell you my story. After high school I didn't want to go to college cause I thought it was a waste of time for someone like me. My special interest was traveling so what did I do? Join the military for 4 years and traveled with them. After that got out and got a job that paid 60k a year. The job required a bachelor degree but since I had 4 years of experience in the military doing that job I beat all the other candidates who had bachelor degrees. (my point on why you don't always need college to be successful).

The problem was that for some reason I just got tired of my job after a couple of months and quit and got a new job in the same field. This cycle went on for about a two years of me quitting jobs and getting a new one. Thanks to my experience in the military I've become an expert at interviews, writing resume, and getting jobs. After two years I finally thought to myself why was I unhappy. I did everything society told me to do I went to college (not to get a degree but just to get the $2,000 housing stipend from my G.I. Bill), I learned to act normal, I got a nice place, and I finally had a high paying job that people go to school for and get a degree.

I then realize that all I really want to do is travel so what did I do? Did what I did best and did a s**t ton of research for the next year. Fast forward a couple months ago I found out I had Asperger and that became my special interest as well. I decided to mix my two special interest and make my life revolve around it. I want to spread awareness about Asperger to people I meet all over the world as well try and make a good impact on the Autism community and hopefully a better life. I booked a one way ticket to SouthEast Asia with no plans really about how to make money to keep on traveling. I only had enough money to last a month.

Well, its been three months now and two countries later I'm in Vietnam working as an English teacher for the next couple of months making $22 an hour. I met my first Aspie out here (she didn't even know she was one until I told her), and I finally told someone that I had Asperger and he ended up learning a lot about it, so I made one Neurotypical aware of Autism.

I would say the first step you should take is realizing that being Autistic isn't a disorder its a strength. It's who you are and yes it does come with some weaknesses. The only reason why it's a disorder is because the society built a world not meant for us which i'm hoping to some how change. Like what most people said on here focus on what you're good at or your special interest and see how you can make a life or living off of it. I hope this helped.