Reasons why we don't like "change".

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when I was young I was in a goodwill sheltered workshop, I was a pretty good assembly line worker, like a machine my brain seemingly was optimized for such repetitive work.

I HATE change. For me, it's because I feel like I can barely handle my day-to-day experience right now, and it takes all of my energy and focus to make it from dawn to dusk. And even then I fail in many experiences (not being able to participate in spontaneous conversations, etc.). I just feel very vulnerable, anxious, and unhappy when new plans are thrust on me. That's why I avoid them. It sucks and I know it effects many of my relationships, but I'm not at the point yet where I can be Mr. spontaneous. I may never be. It just drives me bonkers.

Change makes me anxious because I live inside a bubble of secure "sameness". If something new comes along and pops that bubble, I feel like I've been dropped in the middle of the ocean, struggling to stay afloat without any landmarks to give me any indication as to what I should do. I liken any change to being thrown into Wonderland. Nothing makes sense, and even the predictable is suddenly unpredictable. I don't even like movies like that, where nothing is logical, because my inability to tell what's going on makes me uncomfortable.

it's usually the opposite for me when it comes to movies and other arts. because, even inside my bubble, everything seems confusing and unreal even if it's controllable, so it's relatable when i see absurdism. i have trouble following regular plots

and i guess the same principle applies in reality to a certain extent. except that there's the element of danger, which i contemplate extensively before taking risks. but when i do take risks, sometimes unfamiliarity feels good, because then, for a change, it feels justified to feel so overwhelmed and bewildered

My life isn't really routine based. I am completely OK wit my mom suddenly saying "We are going to grandma." as long as I can decide if I want to go or not, I have 5-15 mins to finish whatever I am doing and I don't have to plan where we are going and how we get there. My daily life is "be prepared to whatever pops up". I am happy to go with any plan someone presents me - assuming I like the idea. If my suddenly friend asks me to go to shop with her - I will.

However it gets really bad if someone wakes me up or tells me to wake up early when I am not prepared for that. For example I experienced a meltdown when right before a planned trip my mom got awesome idea to use vacuum cleaner in early morning(not to mention I hate vacuum cleaner sound). And when dad told me he wants me to wake up at 7am next day because he suddenly decided we go on another trip. I need my morning sleep! I usually sleep till 10-11AM and if I have to wake up before 9AM I need to know it at least 2 days before so I gradually change my sleeping pattern and not experience jetlag on the day of the trip.

And it also gets bad if I have to plan a trip and the method of transportation I choose changes. For example I supposed mom will give me a ride using GPS but in the end I have to use a train and I don't know yet what time the train is and what kind of ticket I should buy and where is the station and stuff.

And what freaks me out the most are big changes of a lot of unknown. For example staring a job or moving out from family house. But I quess everyone is scared of those, even NTs. They just deal with it better because they actually know how to find a job and place to live ("it is easy, you just look it up in the internet and call for details" - they say...). For me it is one big unknown field. When I think about those stuff my mind goes blank. I can imagine working and living somewhere else but I can't figure out my way to get there.

I've always been interested in why I love change as an autistic when everyone else hates it so unanimously, but I think you nailed it here. Because I drive the change. It is my choice. I too am extremely organised and well prepared. If I'm making the change, I have thought it through extensively, planned out any contingencies for likely deviances, have fallbacks for misadventure, etc. Plus, my system is always there and can just be applied to any situation without much problem. If it was external circumstances constantly making changes to me that we unwelcome and I couldn't control - I don't think I'd like that AT ALL.

^
Exactly. If you're making your own changes, you'll naturally tailor them to what you feel you want and can cope with, and they won't come as a shock. Other people just can't be trusted to change my environment, they'd need a double-honours degree in ToughDiamondology to do that without annoying me.

What drives me crazy is that I thrive on variety, yet changes bug me. I love travelling, but I spend the first two days in a new place quietly freaking out. Can someone please give me a brain that shows some consistency?

i think all you need to do about that is cut yourself some slack. account for the freaking-out period when you make your plans. that's what i do. the worst thing in the world for me when i'm going somewhere (or doing anything stressful) is having a "must make every minute count" type of mentality. i prepare myself mentally for the exact opposite: "there's this particular thing i want to do and this particular thing i want to see. there's a lot more to see and do, but is it a big deal if i don't do or see any of those other things? i guess not. so i'm staying there for a week instead of two days. worst case scenario, there's wifi in my room* and i can just stay there"

the first half of my last trip was actually a "worst case scenario" like that in practice, but it didn't bother me, because, while i was at it, i did learn more about some things i should avoid in the future, and i didn't really waste much money, because i had already planned for that possibility. i think that having realistic worst case scenarios figured out beforehand makes all the difference when taking risks of any kind. "what's the worst that could happen? xyz is the worst that could happen. can i prevent it without disproportionate effort? yes? great, problem solved. no? is it a big deal if xyz actually happens? yes? abort mission, change plans. no? green light, good to go"

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* actually i don't even like to count on wifi alone. i look into how to get a prepaid data sim card at my destination, and then i buy one first thing when i get there. i need it for orientation anyway. i get lost very easily

I have read that many people have a hard time with change such as changing jobs, moving house but I never had this issue. Only time I ever had a issue with moving was when we moved to another state and I was homesick and I missed my best friend who had Down's syndrome. It felt very weird to be on a permanent vacation and going to school on vacation. We had moved to where we always visited because my grandparents lived there and we moved to be close to them and because the schools were much smaller.

But this makes so much sense because just as long as we are in control of the change, we are fine.

I don't mind changing jobs or moving house either but the whole social interaction and planning required to do so is something I can't deal with.
I was on a vacation trip 2 weeks ago. I accommodated instantly. Actually just 2 days after getting there I had trouble remembering how my house back home looks like. My memory seemed unreal compared to the city I was living now. And I liked it. I could imagine myself living there forever.
But it was my parents who prepared everything and all I had to do was pack, sit in a car for a few hours, choose one of 3 rooms and unpack.
If I had to figure all of this by myself my mind would go blank and I would become overwhelmed by the anxiety.

Those are all valid... I think I don't like change because after years of dealing with HFA, I've learned to control the world around me very methodically; so the thing that I normally struggle with (eg...like social awkwardness of bright light sensitivity, or any of a million little nuanced ticks and things, that bother me ) don't give me too much trouble and I can be my highest functioning self... I like to think that I didn't grow out of autism, but I grew into it. I learned how to function the best I can as me.


So when changes come ; or God forbid surprises (which I loath), it throws a kink in my nicely controlled routine.
The consequence of that being my anxiety goes up, my functionality goes down. Sad Ninja Turtle

Good insight. The more comfortable we make our comfort zone, the harder it becomes to adjust when the outside world manages to invade it or when we try to step outside it. I used to habitually put lots of energy into optimising everything about my music - guitar playing and singing - when I was just recording it, but as soon as I tried to perform live outside my home, it was quite a shock to discover the hard way that such a fine level of control just wasn't going to happen. To master the task of live entertaining, I had to take it on board that very little was going to be predictable, and that flexibility was everything. It took a long time to get there.

I was laid off from my job of 15 yrs in January and I'm not adjusting well. I have had two jobs since then and they just did not work out. My newest job is going a little bit better because it is close to where my job of 15 yrs was. I drive the same roads to get there and my start and end time are similar. I'm operating printers and it smells similar. The repair techs are familiar to me with the same technical language. So for me, the hardest part of "change" is my routine and my environment.

I would say with me personally, I don't like change in my general routine. It just throws me off somehow and sometimes I get really anxious. Any big changes in life, I have trouble adjusting but once I get used to it I'm okay. I had some trouble in a large work environment at first. I do like to work but there were a lot of new things. I'm starting off small and hopefully things will turn out okay.

The management in my last workplace often used to bang on about how lovely it was to "embrace change"
They even set up a special group to promote it.........I think it was called "agenda for change" or something similar. And I've heard that some organisations have a "change manager" whose job it is to coerce change-resistant employees to toe the line, on pain of dismissal. Is it any wonder ASDers tend to have a hard time in the world of work?