What's Easy and What's Hard?

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I think what I feel when contemplating the "hard thing" is a mixture of exhaustion physically and mentally, plus anxiety and a feeling of stress, and then also there can come the kind of depression that makes me actually freeze into inertia and not want to do anything, kind of like a deer caught in headlights just freezes and can't even take action. That happens to me sometimes, and that alone can be very stressful just to break out of.

I usually manage to break out of that depressed, "freeze!" inertia, but even the process of having to do so is an effort that takes a lot out of me.

Sometimes I fantasize that if I could only win the lottery for some ridiculous sum of billions -- or have an amazing business or internet idea that makes me billions, lol! -- that I could just buy a mansion on a hill, pay all the utilities and taxes for a lifetime, seriously never need to get a bill again or post one, just throw money at everything to get them all off my back forever, and pay an accountant ---- I'd be in bliss!

I'd still be freaking out from sensory issues just sitting on my fancy couch eating bon bons, but hey, at least "people" are doing my taxes and shopping forever now!

BirdinFlight: "I think what I feel when contemplating the "hard thing" is a mixture of exhaustion physically and mentally, plus anxiety and a feeling of stress, and then also there can come the kind of depression that makes me actually freeze into inertia and not want to do anything"

Sometimes contemplation of particular "hard things" provokes feelings I identify as anxiety and/or depression and inertia, but sometimes that's absent for me, FREX, when I contemplate going to the bank to deposit a check. However, all the time, I feel the stress and frustration of not being able easily to do some trivial task I know I must do sometime, or life will get worse.

Of course, winning the lottery would be nice, but I've only played it twice in my life.

Funny thing -- I keep actually intending to play the lottery......and I keep forgetting because it's "too much to do"!

I once tried to sign up online and even that became too complicated, lol. So it's still "Oh no, I have to stop at somewhere ELSE and buy a ticket too? Eh never mind."

Disclaimer: I don't have an ASD diagnosis. On with my post, I absolutely relate to this bit. Decisions in uncertainty are the hardest for me as a person with generalized anxiety disorder. Whenever I know I have to make a decision and don't have a strong sense of what my choice will be, I feel overwhelmed and suddenly very tired at the same time. Or whenever I think about a project where I can't quite see all the steps from beginning to end, I feel the same way.

Has anyone heard of the concept of mini-habits? The idea is that you create small, easy habits for yourself and slowly expand on them. This fits in with what BirdInFlight said about being kind to ourselves and accepting that the changes will take time. It's nice to feel good about little successes when that's possible.

I love the example of the Dalai Lama's cat trying to meditate for two minutes.