05 Nov 2016, 1:03 pm
05 Nov 2016, 1:25 pm
I find that when I used to belong to a church I used to belong to in the past, I could get away with face blindness episodes because in the congregation we all called each other sister or brother. So you could get often away with not calling someone by name. 
05 Nov 2016, 2:12 pm
05 Nov 2016, 2:25 pm
05 Nov 2016, 2:50 pm
They aren't set up to serve plain Quarter Pounders--someone has to scrape off the minced onions of partially prepared food. I learned this in college from someone who worked there.
I also realized that you can make a good guess while waiting in lines--Dairy Queen sells ice cream sandwiches but they are also hard on the staff--so I usually order ice cream cones dipped in chocolate.
05 Nov 2016, 3:28 pm
ReaperDan84 wrote:
FandomConnection wrote:
ReaperDan84 wrote:
I must admit, I'm not entirely sure what that means...
It was a bit of a random one
It's my response to the question "Do you think that Aspies/other ND people should 'typicalise' (force ourselves to act as NTs)?" based mainly on the experience of having a complete mental breakdown as the result of trying and failing to be a "functioning human being" for 3 decades.
Thanks!
05 Nov 2016, 3:33 pm
skibum wrote:
Sorry I don't know what ND is. But if your mom is refusing to acknowledge your ASD you will just have to ignore that bit of advice from her and just be who are are naturally and if it bothers her that is just going to have to be her problem. Even if you try to pretend to be NT all the time, you can't. I don't care how well we can pass for a period of time, at some point the ASD traits and symptoms creep out. You can't stop them when they do. Asking someone who is Autistic to act like an NT 100% of the time is like asking someone not to blink ever. It's just not possible. If you push yourself to try to be NT 100% of the time, you will eventually have very serious consequences. You just have to do what is best for you at this point and if it's a point of contention with your mom, it will just have to be one.
Even if you have to spend time every day where you are completely alone, like at a park or locked in your room or wherever you can find a safe space to do the Autistic type things that come naturally to you than please do that. When I spend time alone, I do a lot of stimming and I play with my toys and allow myself to be as Autistic as I need to be. And even in public now, I am allowing myself to be more and more Autistic and not worry about what other people think. But don't let your mom dictate how you need to function. You can make efforts to be as appropriate as you can in whatever situation you are in publicly but when you are at home or when you are alone, let yourself be as authentic and true to yourself as you can possibly be. You might even just need to schedule blocks of time in your day specifically to stim or do your special interest or whatever it is that makes you able to regenerate and refresh your spirit.
Even if you have to spend time every day where you are completely alone, like at a park or locked in your room or wherever you can find a safe space to do the Autistic type things that come naturally to you than please do that. When I spend time alone, I do a lot of stimming and I play with my toys and allow myself to be as Autistic as I need to be. And even in public now, I am allowing myself to be more and more Autistic and not worry about what other people think. But don't let your mom dictate how you need to function. You can make efforts to be as appropriate as you can in whatever situation you are in publicly but when you are at home or when you are alone, let yourself be as authentic and true to yourself as you can possibly be. You might even just need to schedule blocks of time in your day specifically to stim or do your special interest or whatever it is that makes you able to regenerate and refresh your spirit.
Thank you for the advice.
ND is the shortened version of 'neurodiverse' (the opposite of 'neurotypical'), which is a term used to describe people on the Autism Spectrum and others who don't fit the 'typical' mould as much as most people do. Thank you again!
05 Nov 2016, 3:42 pm
Lonarabaran wrote:
I think we must learn
1- To always be cognizant of the fact that we are different.
2- That our way is not the only way
3- to learn tricks not to get stuck in our head when we need to be present.
4- to become accepting of situations we don't like rather than expecting others to accommodate us. ( this one is very important!)
5- To stop trying to do the right thing or say the right thing when it is not our place or required. It always back fires!!
" sometimes people with Aspergers take actions without realizing their effect on other people"
6- to learn to be appropriate in public. Not normal because normal is fluid and hard to grasp. To be appropriate and pleasant
1- To always be cognizant of the fact that we are different.
2- That our way is not the only way
3- to learn tricks not to get stuck in our head when we need to be present.
4- to become accepting of situations we don't like rather than expecting others to accommodate us. ( this one is very important!)
5- To stop trying to do the right thing or say the right thing when it is not our place or required. It always back fires!!
" sometimes people with Aspergers take actions without realizing their effect on other people"
6- to learn to be appropriate in public. Not normal because normal is fluid and hard to grasp. To be appropriate and pleasant
As nobody (but two other people my age, not counting my mother, who does not believe it) knows that I suspect I have ASD, nobody accommodates me and my unusual preferences (no bright lights/loud noises/strong displays of affection etc.), so I think I'm alright on that one. I am not inappropriate in public (my friend - who knows - told me that she sees that if I don't know what to do/say I don't do anything, so I don't act inappropriately).
I guess that I cope (and have coped without assistance all through my life), only it seems harsh for my mother to tell me that I can't expect people to accept me as I am. If she thinks there's something wrong with me, why doesn't she give me help instead of denying it and berating my character?
05 Nov 2016, 3:47 pm
05 Nov 2016, 3:48 pm
05 Nov 2016, 3:50 pm
League_Girl wrote:
skibum wrote:
BTDT wrote:
You should, in moderation. For instance, rather than ordering a special order plain Quarter Pounder, which is hard on the preparation staff, scrape off the stuff you don't like. You can tell what is hard on the staff by how long it usually takes...
Why would that be hard on the prep staff?
I don't work in fast food and never had but my guess is because when they make burgers, it takes them extra time to make a plain burger that isn't even on their menu and when they are busy and backed up, this can make it more difficult because it slows them down even more and then it takes longer for people to get their orders.
Aside from the fact that I don't often eat fast food, I have no problem with taste and sensitivity. I would just eat what was offered on the menu!
05 Nov 2016, 3:53 pm
FandomConnection wrote:
Lonarabaran wrote:
I think we must learn
1- To always be cognizant of the fact that we are different.
2- That our way is not the only way
3- to learn tricks not to get stuck in our head when we need to be present.
4- to become accepting of situations we don't like rather than expecting others to accommodate us. ( this one is very important!)
5- To stop trying to do the right thing or say the right thing when it is not our place or required. It always back fires!!
" sometimes people with Aspergers take actions without realizing their effect on other people"
6- to learn to be appropriate in public. Not normal because normal is fluid and hard to grasp. To be appropriate and pleasant
1- To always be cognizant of the fact that we are different.
2- That our way is not the only way
3- to learn tricks not to get stuck in our head when we need to be present.
4- to become accepting of situations we don't like rather than expecting others to accommodate us. ( this one is very important!)
5- To stop trying to do the right thing or say the right thing when it is not our place or required. It always back fires!!
" sometimes people with Aspergers take actions without realizing their effect on other people"
6- to learn to be appropriate in public. Not normal because normal is fluid and hard to grasp. To be appropriate and pleasant
As nobody (but two other people my age, not counting my mother, who does not believe it) knows that I suspect I have ASD, nobody accommodates me and my unusual preferences (no bright lights/loud noises/strong displays of affection etc.), so I think I'm alright on that one. I am not inappropriate in public (my friend - who knows - told me that she sees that if I don't know what to do/say I don't do anything, so I don't act inappropriately).
I guess that I cope (and have coped without assistance all through my life), only it seems harsh for my mother to tell me that I can't expect people to accept me as I am. If she thinks there's something wrong with me, why doesn't she give me help instead of denying it and berating my character?
She might not realize you have a condition. Because you look normal, she assumes you're normal so she is treating you as such. She thinks you can change and sees your symptoms as behavior or habits. Another thing, it could be denial. Some people seem to think that if they ignore a problem, it's not there and it will go away.
And in reality, not everyone is going to accept you and that is true for NTs too.
We can't accept everyone.
05 Nov 2016, 3:55 pm
BTDT wrote:
They aren't set up to serve plain Quarter Pounders--someone has to scrape off the minced onions of partially prepared food. I learned this in college from someone who worked there.
I also realized that you can make a good guess while waiting in lines--Dairy Queen sells ice cream sandwiches but they are also hard on the staff--so I usually order ice cream cones dipped in chocolate.
I also realized that you can make a good guess while waiting in lines--Dairy Queen sells ice cream sandwiches but they are also hard on the staff--so I usually order ice cream cones dipped in chocolate.
Oh. That is interesting.
05 Nov 2016, 3:58 pm
FandomConnection wrote:
skibum wrote:
Sorry I don't know what ND is. But if your mom is refusing to acknowledge your ASD you will just have to ignore that bit of advice from her and just be who are are naturally and if it bothers her that is just going to have to be her problem. Even if you try to pretend to be NT all the time, you can't. I don't care how well we can pass for a period of time, at some point the ASD traits and symptoms creep out. You can't stop them when they do. Asking someone who is Autistic to act like an NT 100% of the time is like asking someone not to blink ever. It's just not possible. If you push yourself to try to be NT 100% of the time, you will eventually have very serious consequences. You just have to do what is best for you at this point and if it's a point of contention with your mom, it will just have to be one.
Even if you have to spend time every day where you are completely alone, like at a park or locked in your room or wherever you can find a safe space to do the Autistic type things that come naturally to you than please do that. When I spend time alone, I do a lot of stimming and I play with my toys and allow myself to be as Autistic as I need to be. And even in public now, I am allowing myself to be more and more Autistic and not worry about what other people think. But don't let your mom dictate how you need to function. You can make efforts to be as appropriate as you can in whatever situation you are in publicly but when you are at home or when you are alone, let yourself be as authentic and true to yourself as you can possibly be. You might even just need to schedule blocks of time in your day specifically to stim or do your special interest or whatever it is that makes you able to regenerate and refresh your spirit.
Even if you have to spend time every day where you are completely alone, like at a park or locked in your room or wherever you can find a safe space to do the Autistic type things that come naturally to you than please do that. When I spend time alone, I do a lot of stimming and I play with my toys and allow myself to be as Autistic as I need to be. And even in public now, I am allowing myself to be more and more Autistic and not worry about what other people think. But don't let your mom dictate how you need to function. You can make efforts to be as appropriate as you can in whatever situation you are in publicly but when you are at home or when you are alone, let yourself be as authentic and true to yourself as you can possibly be. You might even just need to schedule blocks of time in your day specifically to stim or do your special interest or whatever it is that makes you able to regenerate and refresh your spirit.
Thank you for the advice.
ND is the shortened version of 'neurodiverse' (the opposite of 'neurotypical'), which is a term used to describe people on the Autism Spectrum and others who don't fit the 'typical' mould as much as most people do. Thank you again! androbot01
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05 Nov 2016, 4:03 pm
05 Nov 2016, 4:06 pm
