Seemingly trivial things that have traumatized you

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Child birth left me with PTSD. The doctors/nurses were really horrible and it just felt like rape. They treated me so bad. I still don't really talk about it.

I was traumatized by the person I was dating not telling me that she was unhappy with part of the relationship until after we broke up. I assumed that she would tell me anything she didn't like so that we could work on it. Suddenly I realized the horror that I couldn't even trust an intimate relationship for proper communication.

Actually, is this considered trivial?

I often get traumatized by small things. For example, there's an over-turned car I sometimes pass in my boyfriend's car, and it's been lying upside down in the same spot for weeks now, at the side of a country road. It just freaks me out how people in vehicles pass it every day and see the car upside down, assume it was involved in a rather frightful accident, and then move on with their lives, and no council people (or whoever deals with damaged vehicles) comes and moves it. It just sits there, overturned, looking unsightly and not doing much good to the environment. It just freaks me out every time I see it.

Nothing on this planet is more terrifying than ditches in the ocean. Like, you are walking around the shallow waters casually, then you fall in a 4 foot trench. Stuff of nightmares for me.

Being out on my deck with the doors shut and no phone. I have to have the door open a crack or the sliding door open and have a phone. I had charlie bars installed on the sliding door and once when I went out on the deck the bar came down and locked me out. I'm 3 flights up with no other way off of the deck. I was able to keep pulling on the sliding door until the bar broke then I was able to get back in. It was 1am when this happened and I had no phone. The only way I could have gotten off the deck was to scream for help. Thank God I was able to break that bar. It took me 3 years to go back out on the deck and now I have to keep a door open and have a phone - just in case the door should close by accident.

How about 3 different girl gangs beating up on you? 1 gang would physically, mentally and verbally be abusive. Another gang were always trying to get in my pants and the third group was mentally and verbally abusive. What made it worse was mom and dad punishing me for allowing it to happen.

precious lil homophobic "people" that announced "that's a girl!", or "is that a girl or a boy", "why did you cut your hair?", "you look like a boy," "you look like a girl?", "do you use the boys or girls bathroom?".

judgmental little power trips that idiots get, that they skillfully disguise as innocent little questions. for example, two previous supervisors have had the nerve to ask "why are you smiling?". as if to imply that i needed their written consent every time i expressed an emotion.

numskulls laughing at me.

I relate to a lot of the posts here. Dentists, the way relationships ended, and even an amusement park ride when I was like 5 really did a number on my brain.

It's not trivial if you felt the impact, IMO. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

Yeah, hence the word "seemingly.'' You see, if I realized some fact of life at the ages of 12-15, I'm probably still in shock about it because of how sensitive I was. An example would be the idea that some jokes could be offensive because of how dark they are.

i have health anxiety (being treated with escatilopram) and some of my anxiety is justified and some is not.

some of the unjustified phases of worry was thinking i had cirrhosis due to very little evidence.
no jaundice...look up "cirrhosis without jaundice" and get no real results.

no ascites or swelling of ankles...look up "cirrhosis without ascites" and get no real results.
i can not rule it out therefore unless i get my liver tested and i am too afraid to do that.

if i do it and get a result that i have advanced cirrhosis and a life expectancy of less than 1 year, i would need to be doped up to the eyeballs to cope.

if i do it and get a result that indicates my liver is relatively normal, then it would quash all that associated anxiety.

i opt to not know with certainty but to remain in doubt. what a stupid action.

i also was worried about intestinal cancer for 6 months and felt my abdomen constantly for lumps, and even reading that intestinal cancer can not be palpated did not quash my anxiety. i felt what i thought was a sausage sized intestinal lump that was unilateral, and eventually i decided it was possibly just peristaltic waves.

i look up..."can peristalsis be palpated" and find that it can be in very thin people. i am not thin.....anyway, over time i did not develop any real symptoms (like black tarry stools or weight loss) so that anxiety just kind of evaporated.

then it became a frenzy of worry about the regularity of my heart beat. i took my blood pressure on my digital machine one day and saw the "shakey heart" icon on the result display, so i felt my throat, and after about 5 minutes i felt a skipped beat, and then it was on.

from that point, wherever i went, i had my fingers on my throat to make sure my heart was beating normally.
it may have looked kind of comical to some observers, but to me i was terrified i would go into some sort of fatal arrhythmia, and could not trust my heart unless i was continuously monitoring it

then after some months of this and detecting no more skipped beats, i eventually evolved from that concern.

then i read about peridontitis and it's physiology, and i just checked all my teeth to make sure they were all solidly rooted in, but i was hyper vigilant and thought i felt some movement in my 2 top front teeth. this was after engaging
them with my bottom front teeth and pushing my lower jaw outwards, and i definitely felt some movement.

i then looked up "tooth mobility" and got the usual panic information. like "no! if your teeth are loose then you must attend to it" etc. what is "loose" in empirical terms?

then i looked up "do teeth have any mobility" and the answer was yes, but if there was a mobility of more than 1 mm in any direction then it is cause for concern.
how do i measure the distance of what i perceived to be my tooth mobility?

i am aware of the phenomenon of the "homunculus" and tried to figure out from the diagram, the relative sensitivities of various parts of the body.
so i thought " would be able to see in a mirror, a 1 mm displacement of a tooth under force, and when i checked this, i could not visually determine any movement.

but that did not stop the habit of checking my teeth every few minutes for increasing mobility.

it is a very compelling drain on energy.

anxiety begets more anxiety sometimes.

anyway, that is still a worry of mine, but it has been somewhat displaced by my blood pressure readings.

i take my blood pressure about every 5 minutes (heaps of batteries) and even today (and nurse angela if you are reading this please give an unofficial opinion on my current decision of what to do), i was totally freaked out at my first blood pressure reading.

i was warm and relaxed in my heated room and with an electric blanket when i first woke up.

i got up and walked out into the recreation room, and i was stunned by how cold it was. the temperature was about 5 degrees celsius, and i was dressed in flimsy flannelette pyjama pants and a tee shirt..
the cuff felt super cold on my arm and i needed to have a wee, but nevertheless i measured my pressure and i immediately went into panic stations when i saw it was 177/109 ! !!.

i was thinking "right i have to go back to bed now!! !, i am going to have a stroke if i so much as even cough"
so i went back to bed with the machine (it's quite cute (jk)) and after warming up, i saw it was 144/85 which is still high for a lying down posture, but i was relieved at the reading, so i decided to get up and let my blood pressure stabilize by putting on the heater and getting warm and wearing the cuff for 10 minutes until it warmed up, and then my blood pressure was still 159/99 which i was still scared of, but never the less i thought "phew!! ! it's not going up"

then i remembered some show i was almost asleep watching about WW2 and i heard that president roosevelt had blood pressure readings of 200-250/120-140 for quite a while...like a few years, and on the day he had the stroke, his blood pressure was ...get this....320/160 ! !! !.
i was instantly relieved that my BP was close to half of his, so i did not expect a sudden snap of a stroke.

but then i wondered about the reason i could go from 144/85 to 177 / 109 in such a short time.
do i have some cardiac problem?
but at the time of my highest blood pressure reading, my pulse was only 60 bpm which is athletically fit, and there is no way my heart should be beating that slowly given my state of fitness.

that then compounded the whole thing and......the saga goes forever....

but a person with no health anxiety would never have noticed anything i noticed and freaked out about about it.

most people considered the source of my anxiety to be moronic and very unproductive.

so nurse angela, what have you to say about critical blood pressure readings?

here is franklin d roosevelt's bp chart over time. it seems incredible that no one saw this a a "hose burst" waiting to happen.

people, esp hub asking you things to dismis it, always
why do i fall into the same trap again and again
people, read hubby, asking random things from you to tell later it wasn't anything worthwhile you did or gave,
i hate people questioning, it's always to disqualify you
why do i have ears? nobody has, what's going on with that?
others talk in order to not hear, i can't ever get a word in
is there no shame? how am i supposed to support another 100ths round of that internal dialogue?
anything goes, blabber on, it made me homeless in my own house

A gang of girls tried to "gang rape" you (a male)?

I didnt know that that was a "thing" that ever happened.

YOU didn't live in my hometown, which was considered (and still is considered) to be the sewer of the county. (The biggest marijuana dealer, as well as the biggest speakeasy were located there.)

I also did not say gang rape. You did. I couldn't even go for a walk without being beaten, cursed at, or have some sort of perverted act performed by these so-called girls.

It's part of the reason I have a weight problem. Until very recently, food didn't fight back with me.

You obviously have been living under a rock, because it happens more than you think. It just doesn't get reported like any other sexual predation.

My dad had a chronic illness for a long time, so I became very afraid anytime someone threw up. I didn't realize that for most people it doesn't need to go to the hospital.

Bad dreams, and the fear they may come true

Even though I don't mind the words "hell" and "damn", but I REALLY can't stand it when people use swear words, like the common words starting with S (rhymes with 'bit') and F (rhymes with 'muck), especially when they use it in almost EVERY single situation!

I think it started when I was watching an episode of Rugrats, with an episode called 'Word of the Day', about a child's show star, who actually doesn't like children at all, says that "They are all little X!", whatever on earth she actually said. This made me believe that whoever uses swear words very openly like that are not very nice people.

Oh, man, it seems to me that swearing is becoming a LOT more common in both media and real life these days. It's also being used as an excuse as a way to be smart and honest (seriously, how EXACTLY does just saying those foul words actually do that? It doesn't make sense!)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm really sick of hearing that using swear words excessively is part of being an adult and being part of American! IMHO, this is NOT how real American adults should talk!
Seriously