Delay in Processing

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Okay,yes,that's how I understood you,and I agree.

Hi M_LibertyGirl,

I have missed you. The aspie pause is often a problem. People do not speak to exchange information but to have their existance acknowledged. It is an NT insult to just stare at someone who has spoken to you, and we make it worse by avoiding eye contact.

I have learned stock replies, "Do you want an answer or an opinion?" "Off the top of my head I would say maybe." And sometimes I just acknowledge them, "How have you been." and stall for time to figure out what they really want.

In my fields of interest few can understand me. The answer means nothing without the education to understand it. I have found that the kids book version serves well, I speak to everyone like they were fourteen. I can talk and think, so stock preambles work, it blocks input while giving me processing time.

I hardly ever answer with my truth, but as a wise man said, "Shoot low, they are short!"

98% of the time instant stock replies, followed by a light answer, do the trick. If they want depth, I will have to hit the books to get it right, because I do not want to give you a part answer. I may have the answer, but am saying I value telling you the right answer.

The answer to, "How are you?" is always "Fine", followed by "And you?" For many it was just an opening so they could talk about themselves, let them, nod your head, make some Ooou and Ahaa sounds, and they will feel you care and understand them.

As for questions like what do I think of the receptionist coming to work in the same clothes for two days? I say, "I wish I knew."

To others I say, "do you want the one word answer, a page, or the booklet?" Most want five words.

I do not know if everyone can speak stock phrases while figuring it out, but it works for me.

I find it has little to do with me. Pre sort them, your Mother expects one answer, your teacher another, age peers are generally simpletons, do not give them more than they want and can process. It is called chatting, it is meaningless.

I like your hair that way, have you lost weight? Nice shoes. More serious is hand to chin, head down, and Hmmm?

Acting for Aspies, my next book, how to lie like an NT!

Just because your life has meaning and content, don't expect it of everyone.

Learn bounds, do not tell the Judge, I like your hair that way, or tell your teacher they have nice eyes.

Read your own Sig.

I find that I often assume that X is true then spend 2-6 seconds trying to work out ancillary hypotheses that account for the an anomalous observation while perserving the original assumption X, when I should have discarded X immediately.

For instance, I assume the milk in the refrigerator was recently purchased...but it comes out of the jug chunky and sour...I have already assumed that the product in the jug was ok...so maybe it's not milk...well they do sell yoghurt in the dairy section...and there's no law that you have to sell yoghurt in little plastic jars...jugs would be ok for that sort of thing maybe it's a new innovation...oh wait the milk is sour better stop eating it.

This looks like stupidity to an observer. Despite my SAT and IQ scores I am almost inclined to agree

Let me get this straight! It takes you a long time to give a stupid answer?????? (sarc)



OK, you made my year!

You know. I once had a chess game that had a number of levels. The first level was almost instant. The highest level was rumored to potentially take DAYS! WHY have the slower level? Because it did MORE work and was a more challenging opponent. The first level was for a casual player. The last level could supposedly beat the best chess masters.

So stupid and slow aren't the same thing. It is EASY to quickly give a stupid answer. BTW I tend to program and do other things BETTER and FASTER than others! So the slow processing does NOT refer to the ASpies ability to do something, etc... but to INTERACT! If the NTs communication was not so unclear and variable with so many permutations, the delay would probably dissappear!

Steve

the short answer would be it is non-linear

i am like that all the time i am always slow with arithmetic for example but i always deliver an accurate answer

i do tend to get 10 points higher on untimed IQ tests because of this

I'm a bit like this but not as much as my dad. It takes a lot of patience to have a conversation with him a lot of the time, and some things just never seem to register in his brain at all! I used to get frustrated with him but since I've learned about AS I'm a lot more understanding.

I believe this delay in processing happens because AS tendency people are typically watching things from 'behind a wall' in their heads
- i.e. they let the inputs come in, then they analyse them, try to work out what they mean, relate them to a big database of similar situations they carry in their head, try and logically work out what the right thing might be to say or do
- and then they respond. Not surprisingly this means a response delay!

Do you notice yourself doing this?

I further believe this whole systemising thing can be switched off - as I believe I have done, and I am enjoying really, really good results.

All the very best

I have often said the most embarrassing aspect of my AS is my "dumb moments." At work, I am capable and efficient, able to find over 90 percent of the items on my Interlibrary Loan list on a regular basis. At home, I feel stupid because I can't find an item someone asks for. It makes me feel bad. I don't want my family to think I do better for others than for them. I don't want to look either stupid or come across as someone who treats other people better than I treat my family. I can't do things when people are watching me. I think one of the reasons I do so well on my job is that people aren't looking over me all the time. I have to show people I can do things and show them I am smart.

You ARE right about that! There is an episode of Andy Griffith with a person that came over. I forget the details about the person and things he did. Anyway, everyone figured he was an IDIOT(A little dumb, no skills, and a CLUTZ) One day, they find out he did something requiring great ability/care, and were SHOCKED. When asked, he said it was simply because he was nervous around others. In the end, they needed something done, gave him time alone and he did it quickly and well. I HAVE seen this elsewhere as well.

BTW I don't generally seem STUPID in such situations, but I DO do better when I am alone.

Steve

That's exactly how I am!

No I totally get what you're saying as long as we slowly arrive at a better answer , but when we take a little more time to give the same answer that an NT would instantly give, how does this differ from stupidity? At the very least it is social stupidity.

There is of course such a thing as a targeted learning disability that damages only one area of competence without having a major impact on global intelligence, of which dyslexia is a perfect example, but I think there is a real problem when we start medicalizing everything from personality traits to differing levels of general competence. I have all too often come across people who are plain dumb, most recently in one of my paralegal classes, who excuse their stupidity as "slow processing." One lady I am thinking of in particular thought that she should get extra points on her exam because she had a "slow processing learning disability" and that it was the school's responsibility to compensate for this. This lady not only thought slowly, she never arrived at the correct answer, at all. In such cases, I think that the LD label can be a distinction without a difference.

Steve, you dont live in virginia do you? just asking because there is a guy at my job named SteveK

ANY idiot can give the correct answer! A smart person is simply more likely to give the correct answer after checking other posibilities



If you take a long time and DON'T have the correct answer, it could be stupidity, or something else.



NOPE!

yeah i get that sometimes as well...my delay ususally comes when i am either overwhelmed or filled with anxiety...either way i may not understand the answer to a question or a proper resonse until hours later......its not like i dont say anything..being that i was in the military for a number of years ive learned o spit out answers even when they are not from your actual head or heart....i find myself when in just a situation i tend to refer to some randomn piece of information which may or may not even relate to what was asked of me....

I often have what I've called my 'Blonde Moments', this is also what my co-workers call it when I'm processing info or don't get something that other's seem to relate to immediately.

They all know about my AS, and I'm lucky in that they are all very patient with me, and if I don't seem to understand what they are saying the first time around they rephrase it so I do.

I tend to get distracted easily during long conversations at work...this can be simply because I'm watching their lips and I tune out from what their saying, so I've told them to be short and to the point in conversations with me.

They know that I'm not stupid. They know that I need time to process an answer to their query, and when I have the time to analyze it, I usually come back with multiple answers or ideas.

So that's OK.

What's not OK is when I get into and argument.

I know that I'm feeling angry or defensive, but don't know how to verbalize it. When the other party is able to make their case clearly, they think that I end up agreeing with them because I'm not quick enough with an answer in my defense, making me look stupid, and them somehow superior.

Very often it isn't until hours or even days later that I say, "Hey! Wait a minute! I don't agree with that - This is what I should have said....!"

When I go back with my defense and ready to state my case, I usually get the response "Why are you bringing this up again? This issue was dealt with already, and now you want to stir the pot again. Why are you dwelling on this. It's done."

Because of this I often feel that I'm never heard in any argument, never get my say, so tend to instead become passive or agreeable.

And I think that this may be the case for many of us. How often do you get your point across in a fast paced argument so perfectly that the other party hears you and backs down?

I have real problem with cognitive dysfunction. Worse than just a delay, but I know what you mean.

Often I’m not sure if I’m smart or just somebody that pretends to be smart. I agree with richardbenson. It can be severely limiting.

Going to see some experts so hopefully it can be fixed Otherwise I don’t see a point carrying on like this. I’d rather be the same level as my deficiencies and not know any better.