somanyspoons and Campin_Cat wrote:
OK. I worked in this field for 20 years. That's really bad advice.
Okay, I've LIVED "in this field" (meaning, as a client), for over the last 18 years----and, surely, you realize the way a professional experiences this field, is quite different from the way a client, experiences this field. Also, I really think the way one professional relates to another (or, TELLS another how they relate to a client), is quite different from the way they relate to a client.
Your case manager is not the enemy. This isn't high school. You aren't tattling. It is normal to talk to the case manager. This is what it is to be a grown up. The case manager is in charge of training and dispatching the aids. Its is up to them to make sure that they are doing their jobs -not you
I never even came CLOSE to suggesting a case manager is an enemy----and, it IS "tattling", where I come-from. If, at the times I've had caseworkers / managers (and, the times that I've dealt with them, in regard to MY client, as a Home Health Aide), if I would've gone over a caseworker's head to the case manager, I would've REALLY paid for it!! The only time I would, PERSONALLY, even THINK of speaking directly to a case manager, is if I was in an IEP meeting (or, whatever that plan's called), and the caseworker(s) was hearing what I was saying, at the same time, I was saying it (and, not getting it second-hand, where it can misconstrued); OR, only AFTER I've talked to the caseworker(s), to no avail.
It IS up-to-me, as a client, where I come-from, to make-sure they're doing their job, in regard to my needs being met----AND, when I have a client, I make-sure that what they want, is related to the caseworker (which, is how it was PREFERRED, where I am, because they only want to make-time for my "concise translation" of what the client wants, because the clients do so much hemming and hawing, and changing their mind). I, and many others, "in the system" (as a client), don't have alot of trust for alot of medical / psychological / whatever professionals, because they're all-the-time making decisions based-on what they've read in a BOOK----or, because most clients seem-to want certain things, so they just mark EVERYBODY down, for the same things. It has not been a rare thing, to have to work, really hard, to get a professional to listen to a client (OR, a Home Health Aide). IMO, one's well-being should NEVER be left, SOLELY, up to a caseworker / manager, and that a client should have a say, as much as a client is capable of saying.
What Cat is suggesting would be continuing to argue with people who have no power to change anything. Aids simply carry out orders. They do not make the goals you are working on. They do not get to decide if you go out or why. Further more, since they are the ones who are going to be interacting with you every day, you really don't want to be arguing with them at all. Trust that your case manager has seen this dozen of times. They deal with these kinds of issues every day. He or she will not be shocked and you are not going to seen as some kind of traitor for talking to them.
How can one "continue to argue", when, as-far-as-WE-know, K_Kelly has never even spoken to them, regarding his desires (let-alone, "argue"----and, who said anything about arguing, anyway; my suggestions, were for TALKING).
As for Aides "simply carry out orders": What I was suggesting to him----and, at least, PART of what he seemed to be saying----was that the Aides don't seem to be taking his feelings into consideration (like, in the way they talk to / treat him). I AGREE that a case manager makes the decisions, in what he DOES (like, whether or not he goes into the community, and what he does in the community), but that's not what I was addressing.
Also, again, case managers are NOT to be trusted, IMO, just willy-nilly (at least, not until a rapport has been established----and, IMO, that has not yet occurred with K_Kelly as he has been, seemingly, letting everybody else make decisions, FOR him)----and, your saying that they have "seen this dozen of times", is one of the reasons, WHY. IMO, case managers need to give MORE consideration, to the INDIVIDUAL----and, NOT, as I said before, just treat everybody the same (ESPECIALLY, if not all of their clients are ASDers).
Wow, somanyspoons, I don't think I've ever seen you, seemingly, not properly read / misconstrue a post (mine or anybody's), so badly----nor, post a, seemingly, purely, emotionally-driven response.
_________________
White female; age 59; diagnosed Aspie.
I use caps for emphasis----I'm NOT angry or shouting. I use caps like others use italics, underline, or bold.
"What we know is a drop; what we don't know, is an ocean." (Sir Isaac Newton)
26 Nov 2016, 11:13 am
