Do You Keep A Journal?

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I had a journal as a teenager and I considered it super-private, but I left it unlocked on my dresser in my room. My brother found it and read it out loud to the entire family. Mom wouldn't stop him; she said "You should have locked it." So I threw it away and have never assumed privacy ever since. Now as an adult I don't keep a journal because I can't think of a place where the janitor couldn't find it. A blog would be fun but my sister hacked it, so I don't do that either.

Since I was a teenager I have kept a notebook. These I have filled sporadically not so much with internal reflections, but quotes from books, fiction and non-fiction, poetry, the occasional sketch, and minutiae like to-do lists, questions I want to explore, facts I'd like to remember, etc. Some years very little has gone into a notebook. Other years I have filled several.

Having had several bouts of clinical depression in the last decade, I decided about a year ago to start a separate diary. The intention there was to do more self-reflection (and not of the interminable looping self-critical talk that tends to pervade my stream of consciousness, especially when depressed!) and to perhaps put into words thoughts and feelings that I have trouble getting a firm grip on in my head alone. I also use this to record general day to day activity if I want to. I complete each entry with a list of 3 to 6 things I'm grateful for on that day. I added to this a daily practice of 10 habits I attempt, not always successfully, to engage in each day, and tick them off. I've found this combination of reflection, locating things to be grateful of, and maintaining intentional habits, to really assist with combating my depressive tendencies. (And to give direction and combat inertia at times).

The start of my journaling also coincided with my early suspicions of ASD and eventual diagnosis. It in many ways assisted with the process of diagnosis too, and I'm sure, my processing of it.

I find handwriting and printing very exhausting so I prefer to keep a blog.

I don't find it very helpful for dealing with my own problems, I don't update it very often. It's mostly there just so I can rant when I'm really upset.

I kept one when I was a teenager and websites like Xanga and Livejournal were a thing. It was an interesting tool to share with a couple online friends, but reading over old posts months or years later felt weird to me. I struggled with depression so I think I didn't like to be reminded too much of how unhappy and awkward I could be.

I have two blogs. I used to do one at myspace but they changed it and got rid of the blog feature so all those blogs are gone. I now have two at Wordpress and one of them is in my sig. I write about anything there, rants, my crazy exes, my thoughts, my perspectives, anyone that annoyed me or pissed me off online or in real life and I have kept real life journals but never did them on a day to day basis because I would get bored and tired from writing but I wished I had done them more, same as writing down everything when I was in my last relationship but I was too lazy to even write. I know I did some of it at myspace but that is gone. I also write on Word Pad and save it on my computer and not put it online because I don't want anyone reading them.