Watching other people move on

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I'm a senior in college and it sucked observing and comparing how my life was going with the peers in my class. It feels even worse looking at underclassmen (i.e., the excited/hopeful baby-faced freshmen or just hearing of underclassmen and their joy of landing an internship [when I've never even applied for an internship because I'm aware of the immediate rejection I'd face]). I feel like I've just wasted my life. I was never happy here and I'm growing debt, knowing I'm doomed to be unemployed lol. I've moreorless expected to die somehow, sometime "soon", however "soon" has happened and unfortunately I'm still here; I just didn't plan for a future because I didn't expect to still be alive at this point. Going to have to face the consequences of my negligence soon. :/

I'm going through that right now. I have a couple friends from high school who have graduated from college and are getting good jobs and I am having trouble finishing my courses in community college and can barely manage having a part-time job. I'm trying to be happy for them, but it hurts too. I know it sounds paranoid, but I feel like a lot of people I knew from school look down on me now more than ever because I am not as successful as they are.

I'm okay with it. All that matters to me is that I lead as good a life as I can with the tools I've been given.

Lockheart,

You are very similar to me. I could write a lot of the same things. I am not bothered by the successes of others (in fact, I can celebrate them and am excited for them). Now that I am moving forward in life, things are looking up. The only thing that bothers me is I know I should (and could) have done those things many years before. I often wonder what I might have done with my life with my intelligence and normal social skills.

I sometimes feel that my many years of formal education were wasted, since I in no way had the career or the income in adulthood that most people would with that background.

On the other hand, I would probably not cope with my reality as well now if I had NOT had that education, which helps me be a critical consumer, make good decisions, and engage with others meaningfully but not destructively.

We should all be cautious about engaging in upward social comparisons (where you find people more successful than yourself). There's nothing wrong with asking "how am I doing, compared to my peers?" as long as it isn't an obsessive, cyclical, repeating pre-occupation. Any mental activity that leaves you feeling worse is something to be avoided.

I can't f*****g stand it, and it's something I've had to live with since high school. Seeing old friends of mine getting jobs, getting their first vehicles, finishing high school, going to college, getting into serious relationships, sometimes even buying houses and starting families... it really pisses me off. I'm 23 years old, and I haven't done s**t with my life, nor can I see myself being able to any time soon. I have my own apartment, but the only reason I can afford it is because I'm on disability.

Other than that, I don't drive, I don't work, I'm not in a serious relationship, I have only a few friends that I talk to on a semi-regular basis, almost all of which are online... I pretty much spend my days rotting in front of the TV and shitposting on my laptop, while eating takeout I can't afford for the Xth night in a row because I can't be bothered to clean my kitchen or cook. Ugh.

Recently discovered thanks to facebook's annoying 'memories' function my ex is engaged to his current girlfriend. I feel both happy and viciously spiteful towards them. The latter is a surprise but not unexpected I suppose, given I tend to bury my anger at people, that and the jealousy felt towards those who indeed move on with their lives. It's uncomfortable, though. There really are no shades of grey in my emotional state of affairs regarding this little revelation.

Good call with that bank accoiubt Fraser.

I have tended to be a slow plodder in this life progression game. Seeking promotion away from the area where I use my knowledge and skill in order to have the title Manager, never seen the point of taking on the extra stress. While I occasionally felt left out ad peers paired of, and absorbed some kindly Kent concern from my mum in a less than helpful way, I am quite happy to offset missing fairy tale marriage young with missing also acrimonious middle age divorce. I find it pleasing that always being five years younger, my younger brother could scrore a first be being the first one (in fact the only one) to marry and start a family (Very successfully)

I have generally done what has felt right and been successful on my terms.

I sometimes wonder how much of someone's lavish outward success is sitting on a pile of debt which an interest rate rise or redundancy can turn into a pile of grief while my more modest setup in now all mine.

It weighed a little on me 20 years ago. An unexpected set of sideways moves in working life gave some growth and also opportunities came which as a single person I could take and grow from which I could not have done had I followed the conventional life path.

I would say, except for education, I would probably fall into the early 20s range as well, even though I'm 52. Finally getting my driver's license at 48 has improved my ability to function and to seek social outlets tremendously. One area I haven't made progress in is the area of love and romance. I don't know if I will ever fall in love and get married, but I have conquered other things I never thought I would.

Oh yes, absolutely. It's painful and makes me feel shameful. Sometimes when I feel bad about this, I look up facebook profiles of people who hasn't been as successful either It helps to know I'm not the only one.