Diagnosed with autism (Aspergers) despite not having it

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I can relate to some things the OP has stated. I was also skeptical about having ASD, though I didn't have more than a general understanding of the topic, and no one in my family has ever had such a diagnosis (or made it known that they have) so I ended up feeling very left in the dark afterwards. I have struggled a lot with people, understanding their thoughts and actions, trying to work around the shame I feel for shutting myself away from the outside world and not keeping friendships: for all of that to be summed up into a three letter abbreviation felt like a dismissal, and caused a bit of anger too.
Confusion also, when some defining aspects a lot of people have regarding autism came to light - most notably understanding jokes and wordplay. I'm an avid reader of fiction and non-fiction and feel my grasp of the english language, speech, innuendos and vagueness are very good. It's interesting to think about. I knew previously that I am an 'audio learner': I retain things best after having heard them as opposed to 'seeing' them. I wonder how this has impacted on my interaction with people, and also worryingly, what area the woman who diagnosed me must have thought suffered enough to compensate for what I'm sure must have been an 'NT's' scores in the speech department.
Everything comes in shades of grey, it seems.

I don't know if I was very hyperactive as a toddler. The hyperactivity came worse when I started school and has never gone away. The older I got the more hyperactive I got.
As a baby and toddler I was fairly typical, and reached all my milestones at the average stages (my mum has kept a baby's log where she wrote all me and my brother's milestones down), and I developed typically. Even at preschool I interacted well, and participated in activities with the other children. I caused no concerns for my mum or the carers at preschool.
It just seemed to be the first few months of starting year reception was when I apparently displayed all these sudden autism traits, and some I grew out of within a couple of years while others I didn't. I suppose the ones I didn't grow out of were more complex or something.

I have question being on the spectrum myself and wondered if my psychiatrist made a mistake. I also grew out of my traits I used to have like I have TOM now and I don't think anyone is crazy when they don't liken the same things I like nor do I think they are teasing me when they say they don't like something I like. I am flexible now than bossy. Plus none of the doctors thought I was autistic but that was back in the 90's when autism was different and then 1997 my psychiatrist said he would say I have an ASD, mild meaning I was between AS and autism which meant I fit into neither of those. Plus I keep hearing how autism is a lifelong condition and forever and people keep saying how exhausting it is to be "normal" and I can't relate to that. I have not gotten exhausted from adapting or using new skills. Plus I used to tell stories by pictures in picture books despite being very concrete. Plus I don't have any extreme sensory issues and I don't get overwhelmed from details or in crowded places and I don't have above normal hearing or any acute sense of smell and I am not sensitive to fluorescent lights. I never spent hours engaging in self stimulation and I was never a little professor. But then I hear about girls with autism and how it's different in girls than in boys.

Yes, it is easier to "hide" austism if you are a girl. Particularly things like dating, in which guys may actually ignore your issues with non-verbal communications if you are attractive enough. It is really hard to ask women out if you can't pick up the non-verbal communications.

Then there is the issue of black/white thinking. Normal people have a much easier time dealing with the fact that people don't fit neatly into categories, perhaps because they can only handle a few before there eyes glaze over. Lumping you into a popular category that gives you all the benefits and services you can get is actually more efficient than leaving you without a useful diagnosis.

It sounds to me like the OP has only learned about a subset of folks on the spectrum (which might or might not even be the most common characteristics); being different from them "proves" he doesn't have autism.

It's a huge spectrum. A recent South Korean study drawn from a whole-population sample of kids, showed 1 in 38 kids to be autistic. 2/3 were doing well in school and had never been flagged in any way even though their school system etc. is apparently trying to watch for autism. So the "standard signs" may not be so standard at all, there are likely many, many autistic people all over the world who *learn* much of socializing a little differently, all on their own, maybe later in life than NTs. (But I really wish there were assistance/appropriate teaching methods to avoid at least some of the suffering that can go along with that.)

I love Monty Python myself; I think I may have learned humor back in high school differently from NTs, but so what. I love relaxed comedies, British humor, etc. Every so often I will "miss" a joke, not sure why, but I have some auditory/verbal slowness too with all verbal communication. It's not just jokes I miss if it's out-loud speech!