Does anyone else here absolutely hate having AS?

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I have a question for all the people who think it's not a bad thing: How the hell do you manage to find meaningful friends and relationships? If not, how do you deal with not having any friends?

I don't have proper friends and I've never had a relationship, probably never will. I find there are more important/interesting things in life than human interaction though. History, cats, music, computers. Other than my family, I have no need for other people in my life.

Last edited by Sopho on 16 May 2007, 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Good question I had to learn at 24. I figured it out myself. What age did you want friends from? I didn't really want nor need friends growing up. It was only till round 20 that I really started to want company. I guess because I just felt more and more isolated and I was missing something.

To answer question overall. Life can be crap it just depends where you are. Generally school is a bad experience. But learning I have AS was a relief even though it scared the crap out of me at first. But what I learnt is to separate out all you problem rather than treating them as one. Like I had/have Social Anxiety. It was crap, to a certain extent you could say it was caused with not being able to relate. But I worked on that. Now I'm working on cognitive dysfunction/ADHD that is a humungous pain and causing no end of grief. And No I'm not ok. But I realise now AS is not a problem it's just me.

So don’t treat all your problems as one. Also it takes baby steps. Believe me I know these problems can be hard but you can do something about them given time.

Easy, I haven't really had a need for friendship. I rarely get lonely.

I only have a few friends, but they all understand my AS, and the fact that I'm likely to only actually socialise with them occasionally. One of them also has AS, so we understand each other quite well. I think the main thing about making friends is just ignoring any worries you have about interacting, and trying to make friends with people who seem nicer and more understanding, and so won't mind if you don't quite get social rules.

I can't tell how old you are Miranda , but I can relate in some ways to what your saying . Im not best pleased at having aspergers , I dont mean the diagnosis I mean the constant struggles and the inability to fit in anywhere . To those who say its not a disorder I disagree to me a disorder is anything that is within you that puts you at a disadvantage when trying to do the normal things people do . If you look at statistics you can see that the unemployment rate among people diagnosed with aspergers is extremely high , I also expect that if you look at the number of adults who live at home with parents the number of aspies will be higher, so yes I do believe it is a disorder , but like all disorders and disabilities two people can have the exact same disorder and yet be completly different in how it affects them in there life.

i will be happiest having my one person to interact with...

other than that... i can keep myself busy

i already have too much work... think that takes care of most things

I work, I travel, I explore, I think, I draw, I listen to my music, I cook, I talk to my Cats (or the ones across the road if i'm at Uni).

Thats keeps me going day after day. The friends that I do have just about manage to understand me and tolerate my quirks. Anything more than that is a bonus, but it certainly isn't 'needed', not by me anyway.

Same. and my few meaningful relationships are founded by intellect.

I find it sad that most people here don't have a need for friends and relationships. Is that a symptom of AS? If it is, maybe I don't actually have it and have a different disorder, because I always feel lonely.

And trust me- if you've ever been in love once, you'll definitely want it and have a need for it eventually again.

All people with AS are different, I'm sure there are plenty who feel the same way that you do. I feel lonely sometimes too.

No I wont, I know me best, you know you best. You should probably find out more about yourself first. My personal pleasure comes from success and intellectual stimulation. I could be in love with someone but it would not start from feeling, I don't have a feeling base. This applies to me, it doesn't apply to everyone nor apply to everyone with AS.

You sound like a feeler. I figured having AS while being a feeler would likely be frustrating.
Might I suggest looking in to your MBTI, if honest your results will be accurate and it will bring to light a lot of self reflections. Its a good place to start if you're looking to have some deeper meaning into the why's and the reasons of yourself.

A lot of people without AS also don't have a need relationships, have a good knack or understanding for emotional foundations and aren't great at socializing.

Not every rational in the world has AS you know.

It's confusing. Sometimes I feel afraid of being alone, but sometimes I hate being with other people and will do anything to excuse myself from them for a few minutes to be alone.

I think I'm afraid of going for a diagnosis because I'm not sure I actually have AS and don't want to be misdiagnosed as having it. It is sort of a trendy overdiagnosis these days, so I'm afraid of getting taken advantage of by a psychiatrist.

I think most of the symptoms fit me, but some of them really don't. And my mother suggested I might have a personality disorder, but I don't really know much about those. I'm just really afraid of seeing a psychiatrist, because I've seen some that were real jerks in the past.

You sound like you have anxiety.

AS isn't as overdiagnosed as it may seem it is simply we are learning more about it and thus it is more in the media. People that have had it for years and have gone misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all are finally seeing the reasons and why's now.

Psychiatrists can be real jerks and real incompetent too sometimes.
Its kind of sad when you're smarter than someone with a PhD
Lot of good it did them.

I highly dislike having my natural people skills taken from me as an infant due to seizures, but I also have to applaud the good things that AS has given me.

Asperger Syndrome has challenged me throughout my childhood, leaving me with a sense of failure, loneliness, hopelessness, and even thoughts of suicide. That was when I was growing up, especially in middle school. Even now, I get lonely from time to time, even here at Central Washington University.

However, if it hadn't of been for AS, I probably wouldn't have the determination necessary to go to college and actually stay there. Plus, I probably wouldn't have the musical talent that I have on the bass clarinet.

Why do I have to sacrifice so much for a good sense of focus and determination necessary to get me to college or get me highly involved in music? Now I hate AS, but I just have to recognize what it has given me.

I would gladly sacrafice my intelligence to have real friends and someone to love. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. I feel like having a nice career in my future isn't worth not having anything good to come home to after work. I started college, but am putting it off for a couple years to move to a different city, where I can work on my social skills.