Walking past a big group of people

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That really sounds like distraction to me.

I could be wrong but it seems Joe90 is only walking by the bus stop and not actually catching the bus.

If she was just waiting at a bus stop then I would agree that browsing a phone or something is a good idea but it can be dangerous if you're walking on a street, as mentioned.

revert back to my post where I say I not actually looking at my phone just using it as a prop to avoid eye contact

Oh yeah, I've done that myself plenty. The point is still distraction, just not to the point of being totally oblivious to your surroundings as would happen if actually focusing on the content... assuming I understand you correctly.

I don't think your wrong , I read Joe's post the same way.

How can holding your phone as a prop be dangerous. I know the world can be a scary place for an Aspie's but there is such a thing as breeding fear. So to be honest we'll have to agree to disagree on this.

I now feel that I have been argumentative , which I don't like. I also feel like I have no right to offer advice as I haven't been diagnosed and may just be an NT spy setting up Joe90 for a fall .

I don't think you've been arguementative but I think you're just missing the important point of why looking (even pretend looking) at a phone can be dangerous, when walking. I'll try to explain why.

In most cases, as is evident in life thesedays (the iPhone generation), 99% of the time you can browse your phone (or whatever you're holding) and get by just fine.

But it's just about being careful, because the other 1% of the time you may get hit by a car or a bus or trip and injure yourself. That's the main point - to be careful. As the_phoenix said, to be fully aware of your surroundings.

You are right.

Message to Joe , please dont cross the road looking at your phone , please dont walk past bananna skins looking at your phone , be bold , confident and look em in the eye , go get em girl ( make sure your got your running shoes on ).

I thought an Aspie forum was a place I might fit in , clearly not , I don't belong on Earth , I dont belong on the planet most of you live on. I gonna leave this thread alone before I say something I regret. I'm gonna stick to not offering advice any more , it's probably safer that way.

I get your point... but there are plenty of ways an aspie who is anxious can deflect anxiety and get past social barriers. Your advice of using a phone as a decoy/distraction would generally be fine standing at a bus stop but clearly dangerous if you're walking on the road.

There's no need to get in a mood about it...

It's OK, these teens aren't an actual dangerous threat, as there are no threats on my walk to and from work. It's just a social anxiety thing; I worry that they are judging me, and just feel embarrassed having to walk by such a big group by myself. My morale is important to me, and even the tiniest hint of judgmental behaviour from anyone really destroys me, makes me angry with myself for being a target, causing feelings of self-shame and even agoraphobia. And most of these teens are at college and so are old enough to know that it's pretty sad to pick on a random stranger who is just walking to work.

But anyway, hopefully I don't look as stupid as I think I do, and that they aren't judging me at all. But I have social anxiety, don't forget, so these things do linger in my mind.
I do actually put earphones in with music, so if they do make a silly noise at me or something, I won't hear it, hence will not look affected by it, so they will just give up easily, if they are decent. I have walked along looking at my phone before and I know not to walk into traffic. The pavement is wide enough and I have good peripheral vision and street smarts.

I'm not sure gliding by on a scooter will help, to be honest. I think that will draw their attention and make them laugh at me, as, if you mean a child's scooter, a grown woman passing by on a scooter is quite weird.

Why? Your input was worth considering, and I've used the same method. It works fine in many situations. Someone else just pointed out that it isn't always the choice option.

Yes, I get very afraid. I avoid them if possible, crossing the road or going a different route than I intended. If there's no escape, I focus on walking normally (I tend to bounce when not concentrating) and avoiding their eyes.

This'll probably sound racist to those who want to perceive it that way, but I'm simply being honest in answering your question: it depends on skin colour.

I'm white, from a white background, and grew up in a small town/village that was white. There were only white people at school. I was quite shocked when I first met someone of a different ethnicity.

So, for me, even to this day, I have negative feelings/worry when walking past a group of black people (young or otherwise), or middle-eastern.

Chinese & Indian - no. They do not feel threatening, are generally quiet, and make way when you go by (I mean with respect where I live).


But if alcohol is involved, I'll avoid any group of teens - white or otherwise.

And the worries RE blacks/middle-eastern are relatively justified, given the knife crime/rape etc statistics associated with these ethnicities (I mean in the UK).

Yes , I got into a mood about it. Maybe it's because I feel that I am misunderstood and then told I am the one not understanding.

I don't believe anyone mentioned walking on the road unless there is a terminology difference here. I believe Joe lives in a built up area so she is walking on pavements/sidewalks/footpaths

I liken this to telling a driver of a car that it might help to make a phone call home when they halfway along on their journey. Then someone saying that my advice is bad because you shouldn't use your phone when driving. Maybe as this is an Aspie forum my words were taken too literaly. I should of said , Find a safe place to stop , look in your mirrors , indicate , pull over , stop the car, put the car in neutral and apply the handbrake ( better still turn off the car ) , when it is safe to do so phone home.
I would of thought it was common sense not to use your phone while driving so didn't really need to add safety instructions.

Is that the mistake I've made here? Have I given posters too much credit i.e. believed they had common sense or wouldn't take my advice too literaly. Or is it the reverse and you think posters have no common sense so have to have things spelt out to them - this is not a slight but a genuine question.

Yeah I'm a hothead when I can hide behind my keyboard.

Approaching people often automatically triggers the fight or flight response.

A bit of info: Holding your phone to make a quick call when driving is a crime.
It doesn't matter whether Joe90 is walking on the side-walk or on the road. The same rule applies - it's dangerous to be looking at a phone if you're walking by lots of driveways and not paying any attention. Keep living in a world where you think it's not and you might be rudely awakened.