I don't know who I am

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I broke my laptop in the process. My fault - now typing on my phone. Non-attempts of trying to aid myself caused me to slam my laptop down and then when I tried taking it off standby I held the power button down and BAM. Broken computer and possibly broken personality? I didn't even feel angry throughout. I was shouting telling myself to make an effort but no real emotion or feeling. What even? And the purpose of all that was...? Now as a result I've potentially lost a couple of useful things I didn't back up. Doubt I can get those recovered as the keyboard seems to have gone bust on my laptop. The bottom line is what sort of a person pretends to get angry and breaks their laptop in non-frustration with no emotion attached?

What are you angry about?

"Whenever two people meet, there are six people present. Each person as they see themselves, each person as they see the other, and each person as they really are."
- Robbie Burns (if memory serves)
Getting to see yourself as you really are is considered to be one of the most difficult, but noblest of human achievements.