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Are you socially awkward
Yes 72%  72%  [ 73 ]
No 4%  4%  [ 4 ]
Sometimes 24%  24%  [ 24 ]
I don't know 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 102

AlanMooresBeard
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08 Mar 2017, 2:46 pm

It depends on my mood and the situation I'm in. Sometimes, I just really don't feel like socialising at all and stay home. When I do socialise, I tend to do best in one-on-one interaction or if I'm with close family members and other people that I've known for years. In most group situations where I know few if any of the people there, I struggle to contribute unless the topic is something I know a great deal about. Also, the noisier the environment, the harder it is for me to engage with others as I struggle to filter out background noise so I can hear what's being said.



Shahunshah
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08 Mar 2017, 3:32 pm

I don't come across nearly as socially anxious as what I was like 2 years ago. Nowadays I am the kind of person who doesn't always have a filter when talking to others. I typically say what's on my mind regardless of how inappropriate it is. I do this purposefully, it allows me to get feedback from others which I can then utilize. Their is nothing like playing stupid.



Lillikoi
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08 Mar 2017, 5:04 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
LOL....sometimes I have "awkward exchanges" even on WrongPlanet.

I don't always "get it right."

¿Qué? I think you are plenty un-awkward! 8O :mrgreen:



Lumi
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08 Mar 2017, 5:05 pm

If I have to speak to speak to a group, I become anxious. Otherwise, I can seem distant or be engaged...so I voted "no".


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kraftiekortie
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08 Mar 2017, 6:42 pm

I got this guy upset because he thought I was laughing at him.

I think I presented myself awkwardly in that instance.



248RPA
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08 Mar 2017, 7:45 pm

One time when I was young, I was at this week long summer thing. On the last day, I said something, and a kid told me, "You talk? I didn't even know you could talk!"

Oops. :lol:


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Last edited by 248RPA on 08 Mar 2017, 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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08 Mar 2017, 7:47 pm

Why would anybody think you couldn't talk?



248RPA
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08 Mar 2017, 7:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Why would anybody think you couldn't talk?

He probably knew I could talk. It's just that I rarely said a word all week, and never in the presence of that kid.

We were both very young, so who knows?


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LyraLuthTinu
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08 Mar 2017, 8:23 pm

I used the term "socially ret*d" for myself before I knew anything much about Asperger's Syndrome or knew that I am ASD.

As much for internet awkwardness as for real life awkwardness, actually. I know many people think that the web can be a bit of a filter to help us edit out our social mis-steps before posting them, but I wouldn't realize the potential for unintended unpleasant reactions from people until they'd already gotten upset about something I posted. Sometimes even after discussing it I couldn't understand why they had taken whatever I said the way I did. Other times I could see why what I'd said came across badly and a few times people thought I was trolling. It isn't trolling if you're saying what you believe because you believe it and want to participate in the discussion. It's only trolling if you're deliberately crafting your posts to get the biggest possible reaction from people. I don't push people's buttons on purpose, usually. I don't enjoy conflict.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Mar 2017, 8:50 pm

My mother's boyfriend always called me "socially ret*d."



Edna3362
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09 Mar 2017, 6:51 am

248RPA wrote:
One time when I was young, I was at this week long summer thing. On the last day, I said something, and a kid told me, "You talk? I didn't even know you could talk!"

Oops. :lol:


... My best high school days. :lol:


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Joe90
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09 Mar 2017, 7:13 am

I'm socially awkward, but in more complex ways than most autistics. I can read body language, recognise emotions, be tactful, make eye contact, smile, make facial expressions, express my feelings, enjoy hugs (don't mind being touched), have a sense of humour, need social engagement when feeling anxious or meltdowny, engage in small talk, interest in gossip etc, etc. That's rather natural.

My social awkwardness involves shyness, social anxiety, overwhelming empathy, confusion of some of the rules (like how to be interested without coming across as nosy), expressing feelings too much (which comes across as whining), not thinking of a response quick enough during a joke (but I do understand jokes and sarcasm), and feeling awkward when asking someone about their personal lives. For example, if someone I'm not close to has recently had a baby, although I know the cue to ask, I still feel awkward and not sure how to ask or bring up the subject to them.

It's not that I'm socially clueless, because I am not. I am literally just as good as an NT (an extrovert NT even) in my mind, but to speak it out just sometimes feels awkward and even embarrassing.


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Redxk
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09 Mar 2017, 8:01 pm

My diagnosis report states that I have "a naive social style," and before I was diagnosed, another psychologist answered "yes" when I asked her if she thought I was socially immature. Like others mention, I often wonder if I'm more awkward than I even realize, and maybe that's why people seem to hold me at arm's length. Then again, my therapist has challenged me to check whether it is actually I who am holding others at arm's length. Very possibly. Most people intimidate me.



somebody300
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10 Mar 2017, 4:31 am

Yes, I'm very socially awkward, both in my style and my non-verbal communication (including social expressions). People have told me that they can tell that I'm autistic right away.
Sadly, they automatically assume that this implies that I'm mentally handicapped in some way. For example, my doctor thought that I would never get my GED and that it was "completely unrealistic". It got me so mad that I took 2 months to learn all the high school program and got it (the GED). I guess my doctors often play a role of some kind of a trampoline - I bounce off their underestimations to prove them wrong (which sometimes sadly costs them their medical reputation).

Always remember: Even if people tell you that you're awkward and talk very bad things about you behind your back, don't let them bring you down. There are lots of routes to each goal in life. Some of these routes are longer than others, and you can take many of these routes. It's just that sometimes, you will be obliged to take the longer ones due to the situation you have at hand. But there's almost always at least one route available to you to reach your goal. So take it. Don't listen to those who try to bring you down - they often do so to feel better about themselves at your expense, or to develop a career out of your suffering.



Leahcar
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10 Mar 2017, 3:08 pm

I am very, very socially awkward. As I'm older, I'm becoming a lot more conscious about my poor social skills, which makes me feel even more on-edge when talking to people.

I'm not sure if it's shyness though. I actually enjoy talking to people and it makes me feel good, but even when I'm feeling fully confident, familiar with the person, and eager to talk to them, I'm always getting things wrong.
* I often don't know how to reply to things other than 'cool' or 'that's nice' etc.
* I've killed loads of conversations, or at the very least made them stagnant.
* I might ask questions that others find inappropriate or too nosy.
* I say stuff that confuses others
* My words sometimes come out wrong and jumbled.

Sometimes I feel unsure about talking to people in case I say something that makes them think I'm strange or whatever.


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Dear_one
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10 Mar 2017, 6:25 pm

Leahcar wrote:
<snip>
Sometimes I feel unsure about talking to people in case I say something that makes them think I'm strange or whatever.

The people who never feel unsure about the wisdom of speaking soon become unpopular for monopolizing the conversation or causing chaos. Maybe you are unsure more often than most, but I hope you don't go for 100% confidence.