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- worrying that I'll actually 'go crazy' or lose control over myself in some way, in public. I think it started when I began dealing with derealization/depersonalization, which is also a huge problem for me. I tend to have these thoughts more when I'm dissociated.
This is the thing I worry about too. I have a lot of pet peeves in public; children under 5 too near me, people looking at me, cars pulling in or out somewhere where I'm walking, loud motorcycles or car engines, slow people, people in my way, me in people's way, the list goes on. I often find myself feeling angry inside, and I imagine myself yelling out as a defence, but I know that will be very unacceptable and I will end up regretting it for the rest of my life. When I do get a surge of anger, I do try to think of the consequences before I do anything. But I'm still scared that one day I might suddenly not care and just shout out my frustration and draw everybody's attention.
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Female