Anyone here hate it when someone praises them?

Post Reply New Topic

Kind of. The more off-hand it is, the more I tend to appreciate it.
Like: "Star are bae. I will tell you about pulsars. Oh, nice shirt. In certain..."

I become very self-conscious and try to emulate the norm. It makes me feel like I'm standing out too much and that others will hate me.
"This is pretty great. I'm proud of you and you have endless potential."

Isaiah 26:12

LORD, you establish peace* for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.

*God's favor, including all blessings, temporal and spiritual, opposed to their previous trials



I believe that every good deed that I do and every good that I accomplish, God did for me OR God set up for me to be able to do OR God did through me. If I should not accept praise for everything that I inherit from my father's hard work, why should I accept praise for "good opportunities" or "good education" or "good luck"? Even my character, people pleasing and hard working, can be attributed to EITHER how I was raised by my parents, pastors, and teachers, OR how I was created by God.

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

if the praise comes in a condescending tone yes. among other things.

"you're the strongest girl i know", a homophobic, chauvanistic precious lil "person" had the nerve to tell me. "girl"? what did he call himself? "a guy". that's so sexist. a "guy" could be any age but a "girl" sounds like a child. middle aged females get called "girls" but middle aged men do not have to get called "boys". the judgmental, self-important little idiot did not measure the strength of every "girl" he knew.

not to mention that i identified as male.

"i know you're smart", a community college counselor had the nerve to tell me. she was only 2 years older than me. she told me in a tone like i was five years old. "smart" is so vague. twiddle your thumbs and correctly point out the Theory of Multiple Intelligences.

for that counselor, among numerous other morons, it would've made me feel better if they did not act entitled to comment on my intelligence or appearance. positively or negatively

a positive judgement is just as judgmental as a negative one

I don't mind it but sometimes it feels like the person is surprised I'm any good at anything, which feels insulting.

I hate it. I have no clue how to act or respond.

I don't really hate it but it does put me in a state of confusion, so I guess it is a good thing it RARELY happens. I usually just kind of pause and contemplate on how to respond, I don't want to say "thanks" if it was just sarcastic praise (I usually can't tell). I have to fight my urge to explain what they are praising me for and force myself to go by the standard social procedure of mindlessly saying thanks. But if someone says "wow that's cool. " that's when I usually forget and scare them off with detailed descriptions of how it is made and stuff.

However I do hate compliments like "you look nice today" because those are ALWAYS a lie or a sympathy compliment or sarcasm. The reason being, that I wear only jeans and Unisex Tshirts, ALL THE TIME, I cannot wear anything else. Even in summer, I wear jeans, even in winter I wear Tshirts. So I KNOW compliments like that are fake. I hate fake praise and fake compliments

I'm glad to know that I've done something right, but I have no idea how to respond to it, so it usually feels awkward.

Praise isn't something I care about, so when people give me praise it is just annoying. I want people to get to know me & learn what I want from them, rather than just making assumptions. However, I can't reject their praise, because they would get offended by their "generous" attention. I hate that even more -- can't be honest about it & have to just keep letting people make assumptions & say thank you even though it really pisses me off.

Praise is something I have a love-hate relationship with.

Why I hate it:

-Hard to tell if genuine or not, people used to praise me at school but it was usually in a back-handed manner that actually insulted me. Ever since, I've felt sceptical of whenever someone praises me.

-Should I accept this praise if it's genuine? Do I deserve it?

-If so, how should I respond? A quick thank you and then change the conversation? Perhaps I should just change the conversation and ignore the praise. Should I praise them back on something, and if so- what should I praise them on? What if they deflect their praise as well, should we just move on to another topic?

Why I love it:

-It gives me motivation if it's on something like my work, it tells me that people actually like it (unless they're being sarcastic, but if I can't tell then I usually ask them if they are being so or not).

-Praise makes me feel appreciated.

Yup.

If the praise hints at something new I hadn't yet considered, it makes me feel good. Very often, I feel that I have a very limited number of things I can do well. I prefer to be praised for effort and continuing improvement in new areas, rather than for being "smart." I hope that people eventually see my hard work and recommend me for something that will better my situation.

It makes me uncomfortable to be praised. I don't really like it.

Yes being praised makes me uncomfortable. If it's praise it's almost harder than blame because I feel then like people expect something now which I may not be able to deliver. Generally I don't like it when others draw attention to me. I try to remember that praise & blame will come to everyone in some measure regardless of who they are, and that whether I am being praised or blamed has to do as much with the person doing it as it does with me. Maybe more, because they are the ones doing it. It is like waves on the ocean, they are going to move your boat & there isn't much you can do about it. It is out of my hands. I attempt to just focus on doing what I know is right and let the praise and blame fall where it may. That calms me down.

I'm definitely in the minority here- I love being praised, but mostly only by certain people .

I don't hate being praised, but it does make me self-conscious and uncomfortable. Usually I will put up with it but would rather people not praise me, although sometimes I do feel ignored when no one does. In general, though, I hate having attention drawn to myself in any way, positive or negative.