For those with a late in life diagnosis...

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Wow! Talk about "recruiting!" I am gay, but I never had to sign "papers."

I got shackled to a diagnosis of depression when I was 15 years of age. I denied it then and, five consequent depression diagnoses later, I deny it now. Clinicians hadn't a clue about Asperger autism in the late 1970s, so my assessment took this course of conversation: "Do you have any friends?" "One or two." "Do you have any friends at school?" "The same one or two." "What do you do for fun?" "Read books." "What do you do when you aren't reading books?" "Thinking." "Do you ever talk to others?" "Only when I must (elective mutism)." Bazinga! "You have depression." "No, I don't." "Yes, you do." "I am never depressed with or without my friends. Put me next to a friend, and you will see that I amn't depressed."

Recognize the mistakes? Sooo, yeah. I think clinicians should be professionally obligated to apologize for mistaken diagnoses.

I would be glad if the one that "diagnosed" me with schizophrenia did :> He should.

I wasn't really bitter because of lack of diagnosis but I am bitter because of lack of understanding. People used to see me as "gifted but hysterical" and just did not believe when I told them about my confusion in social situations. My parents still reject information that I'm unable to read "meaningful glances", saying that I'm just too self-focused and egoistic :/ That's what I'm bitter about: people not believing in my social confusion, telling I'm intentionally rude or/and egoisitc. It really hurts when you do your best to be nice to others.

On the other hand, I'm glad I wasn't put into any category and had my life to be formed by myself. This is also why I'm not in hurry to diagnose my daughter. I try to give her more understanding than I had, enrolled her to social skills training but generally I try to teach her to focus on her strengths. I want her to have an interesting, fulfilling life and I'm in doubt if a diagnosis would help.

I only learned of my Asperger's a few months ago, although I've suspected something was different about me for about 50 years. I used to think it was me ... that I was broken in some way and if I worked hard enough at it, I could figure it out and fix it.

Now I know better. I was bitter and angry for a few weeks after my diagnosis, but have come to realize that my autism is really a gift.

This is all so comforting to read - I feel so lucky to have you all.
The internet is such an awesome tool to discover we are not alone!

Depends on the clinition and situation. For making an assesment based on an hours assesment yeah. For bieng Bruno Bettelheim and causing so much harm based on no proof much more than an apology was needed. But for missing Aspergers which nobody knew existed, no.

Back then one of the "symptoms" of gayness were believed by mainstream psychology to be a life of lonelyness and unhappiness. In 1973 they removed homosexualy from the DSM but it was a controversial decision that was far from universally accepted.

The people in my life had obvious reasons to which they could attribute my social isolation as a kid; we moved a lot. So I don't feel a lot of anger at them. I also wonder if having a diagnosis would have made things easier or more difficult. I suspect I would not have as much grit and toughness as I do, but I might also have fewer psychological scars and adapted more quickly.

I was diagnosed at 44 years old in October of 2016. After my sons dx I did a lot of self educating only to find that a lot of what I was reading applied to me too.

Am I bitter about my past and not knowing?? Not really. My childhood was complicated with a broken home, poverty, and living in a small Amish town. I knew I was different even though I didn't look different. Even though Asperger's explains all the things in my past such as depression, anxiety, failure after failure, alcoholism, failed relationships, and me spending all of my adult life wondering what the hell was wrong with most people I only wish that I knew sooner. I have done some great things in life with music and culinary arts but they have all had numerous challenges to get there. (Maybe if I had known they may have never come to pass...I don't know. There is only so much you can know in retrospect)

As for disclosure...here are my thoughts as an Aspie with two boys that are both Aspie's. I feel that I represent a unique part of the spectrum; both as an individual and as a parent. Where I feel it is appropriate I do disclose it. Here's why. I feel that peoples points of reference must be shifted to allow for a better understanding of what Autism is, what it looks like, and how all of those impacted by it need more understanding and acceptance. Not to mention, if I want the world view of what it means to be autistic to get to a better place for my two sons, that work has to be done now. I choose not to disclose to those that are in my opinion unavailable to a different perspective. (family included)

I will say that disclosing it to those close to me has been difficult. Some of my closet friends looked at me funny and said "really? No way!" I will say that I feel my friendship has changed a bit with those individuals but I can't control how they respond. While other friends have been like "that's cool man, we know you're a "bit off" (jokingly) Both sets are comprised of people that I have known for nearly 20 years.

I am glad I know. It took me 6+ years of therapy to figure it out. The work that needs to be done now is putting better things in place so I am not destined to repeat the heartache of the last 44 yrs of my life. Kind Regards. Shark

I was bitter for a while, but now I can kinda understand my parents for not thinking about seeking a diagnosis.
They both are very practical people, the kind that don't take mental problems seriously and don't even think that someone so close to them could suffer with it.
Well, I was a quiet and intelligent boy, having good grades, I wasn't giving them problems at all. As a teenager, instead of being outside getting drunk, I was in my bedroom reading stuff and playing computer games. So why would they worry about me?

I never opened myself to them about my inner struggles, so they thought I was like that because I was just a good boy.

I am very moved by the quality and content of the posts on this thread.

I was left very thoughtful when out of curiosity I completed Simon Baron Cohen's AQ questionaire online and got a score over the the threshold. Very reflective because things changes from light hearted moments of recognition having watch temple Grandin's lecture "My experience of Autism" to some serious pointer to things being more than just moments of recognition.

Just over two years later and an assessment confirmed the research which that moment had initiated.

Most people didn't know about autism in the 80s. I'm not angry that my parents didn't know. It would have been must worse for me if they knew. My "mother" has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and it's likely that she would have killed me or abandoned me in the streets to die to avoid the "embarrassment of having an imperfect child." She already deeply hated me for looking average, instead of like the Aryan supermodel trophy child she wanted. I had often had to listen to her gleeful fantasies of torturing and killing me, and I don't want to know what would have happened to me if she knew I was autistic.

it was known when I was in the army, that I was autistic but higher-functioning. an army social worker told me that [in his opinion]. in my civil service job, it was also known. but I didn't get a formal dx until I was in my early 40s. until that point I was whistling past the graveyard of hopes and dreams.

Welcome to Wrong Planet and congratulations on your diagnosis. Glad to have another 1957 baby around here .

I always knew I was different but of course chalked it up to personality quirks and flaws. I was able to "fix" it enough for years at time not to be in the street or institutionalized but eventually "Autistic burnout" caught up to me because bieng who you are not is not sustainable. When I was diagnosed in 2013 I came to realize that nearly every key moment in my life was partially or totally the result of bieng autistic. I view autism as a gift, a curse and pretty much everything in between, just like life itself. Just that what parts are gifts and what parts are curses are different from most other people.

As one who is turning 60 in 2 months, the diagnosis probably would not have mattered, since my parents, (both now deceased) and my brothers (with the exception of my youngest brother, who has 2 low functions and mostly non-verbal kids) considered psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers to be full of sh!t. Quite a few people I disclosed to no longer trust me. About the only place I'm accepted is the Church (I disclosed to Pastor and his wife, as well as my Sunday School class, and a few of the church elders and deacons, as well as the neighborhood where I live. They pretty much leave me alone, which is pretty much what I ask.

The bad thing is I'm pretty much considered to be a "one trick pony"

this pony wouldn't mind having one trick, at least.

I am a 1950 baby but only in the third week of this new self-realization. I’m deep in confusion while enduring some emotional highs and lows. The missing puzzle pieces are falling into place. Maybe not the appropriate time for blogging but I think I may qualify to answer your questions. I’ve read and greatly appreciate the points of view and experiences shared in this thread and it would seem the quality of an aspie’s initial support system can be most important regardless of how that comes about. In my case I’m not so sure Asperger's (if I actually qualify) makes a difference about how I currently feel toward my dead parents. I would probably still be disappointed but can see how being an aspie could have exaggerated or aggravated my parent’s poor perception of me as I repeatedly heard “what’s wrong with you?” along with “you’ll never amount to anything”.
As far as sharing outside the family there are two people with one being my part time boss. I believe I could share but too shy to come out of the shadows to everyone I meet and have great respect for those that can. I would, undoubtedly, use a more detailed, but hopefully short, explanation and avoid at all cost the word autism. I am fresh from my own ignorant stigmas and cannot be sure how people will feel about it until maybe later.
If not Asperger's I apologize for the intrusion and know, at least, I will continue to study and spread a more enlightened gospel among family and colleagues. My son is marrying a woman with an autistic son.
I just cannot keep it short. Sorry.
148/200 ND and 73/200 NT