People who don't read things properly/unwanted advice.

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Yes I realize that, and I generally don't reply to those that I don't feel that I have anything to say to, but there were multiple people that had replied between my last two posts that I wanted to respond to, but I've just been too exhausted due to my sleep being worse than usual lately because of the weather. I thought it was only polite to let people know that I had read their posts and appreciated their contributions to the thread.

Oooooh do I relate to this.


I've looked at this issue too from so many angles. I experienced this a lot during a really bad relationship and when I was trying to explain to "friends" about the relationship, and they just treated me like this. Giving me crap advice, not really listening, not really caring about what I was saying. Telling me all the ways I needed to do things differently. Well, turns out that relationship was very abusive, and if my "friends" had just LISTENED to me, I could have had the support I needed to get out sooner.

This kind of thing has caused me to twist in a million different directions. "Am I too angry? Expecting too much? Communicating well enough? Why doesn't anyone care?" And then just being SO hurt and frustrated that people just keep receiving me a certain way when I'm just saying "No, that's not what's going on here/what I need/what I said."

I still feel so frustrated about all this, because I just don't know what to do. Do I communicate less, do I communicate more? Do I need just not get angry?

What I have come to realize that's most important is to not get too sucked in to explaining to other people. I've realized that I have kind of lost myself a bit, and become focused too much on other ppl's interpretations of what I'm saying over what I am saying--and what really matters is to not lose sight of yourself. You can wonder if you're getting too upset, but I don't think that's actually helpful. I know for me, getting to express my anger is not the same as it is for other ppl--it's essential, because it's how I let out my emotions. And expressing my anger actually is an outlet, and isn't some "bitterness". I've had people jump all over me for my anger for years, but my anger is apart of me, and it's not a bad thing. It's not a loss of control like it is for NT's. I've had to learn that it's different for other ppl. For me, complaining isn't so much a "poor me" it's just sharing and a way to express myself. I've had that sharp learning curb at jobs where I'm just complaining, and ppl see me in a certain light. But that wasn't actually my intent--I was just trying to make conversation!

I would suggest to you that as difficult as your anger and frustration are, they ARE still true to you. They are saying something. It's real what you're going through. I relate so much to what you have to say. Most advice out there is telling you to ignore or change how YOU feel--and that's crap. My advice to you is to not get so pulled into this communication struggle that you continue to feel wrong for it, and lose sight of what you are seeing and saying. I know for myself, that I've grown to question myself so much that I lost sight of if I was the problem or not, based upon people's responses to me. I don't know the "solution" to all this, but I would say to keep your eyes upon you and the truth of you, regardless of what other ppl see, and not get too sucked into trying to bridge that gap.

Even though I don't know the solution to this, it's nice to hear someone express the same struggle I have looked at so much.