figuring yourself out

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Figuring who I am
led me to how I am
too bad I don’t know
where that is
when that is
why that is
the harder I try
the more I want to die
it’s writing your name
with your life
you might see the answer for a second
but you’ll end second
to the winners who don’t have the insight to ask the question
they just follow their sight because they appear bright
but this is from a loser who cannot see the light
‘cause he’s slower than blight

tyvm-lol, it tends to get in the way of a lot of things too... so yeah, it is definitely a problem. I rarely hear what other people say due to it

I know what you mean. I always replay social situations in my head and obsessive over the fact that I could have done things differently. I'm always trying to figure out what my triggers are and what makes me kick off because I don't understand myself most of the time.

the main point is; if it is making you unhappy or not.
you may not be able to control it, but you can choose how to feel about it.

Thank you very much I hadn't given that much thought really, I'm always looking for a "why". I'd never really considered whether it made me happy or not, I always just figured it was something I just do... thanks.

I feel okay about it, I think. Wait, that didn't make sense... I guess I"m trying to say, I feel okay about it most of the time, I really enjoy learning things about myself and figuring them out for the most part... the part I don't like is how self-centered I must come across to other people.

If there was only a way to merge the two, lol. I could just stop caring, but that's hard to do when I'm going to analyze either way as it almost inevitibly makes me worry about it (thinking about where I was wrong in situations). I just wish people would realize I'm just thinking out loud basically, lol-it's my thought process in action when they ask, it's not really something I can shut off. I can stop talking about it for short periods of time, but it always winds back up there, lol, and the whole time I'm trying to listen I'm still thinking about it... and it's not something I need help fixing-when I analyze myself I don't even know if I'm looking for something to fix or just dissecting it in general.

I love the "a-ha!" moments that come with it though and it's awesome when I figure out a way to explain how I reacted to something, and am able to put it into words and actually have it make sense to someone else-those parts are pretty darn nice, really.

I also like how I can kind of beat my therapist to a conclusion because I do it so much, but am afraid I might be coming across as just "difficult" because I do it so easily-it's just a natural thing for me. I keep thinking he's probably saying to hisself "so if you know so much about yourself, why are you here talking to me?" and that's what I can't answer, lol.

Last edited by nobodyzdream on 27 May 2007, 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sometimes I'll obsess over my own brain, but not often. I obsess about other things and they seem to last 2-24 months. I write all the time. I don't talk much about my obsessions unless dh has read something about them and wants to talk. We both requires hours of complete silence and that incessant talking just wouldn't get it with either one of us. I know for him, if he thinks someone is talking just to hear themselves talk he will bluntly tell them to shut up. He has even less patience with it than I do and that's saying a lot. I will just get up and leave without saying anything. That's more my style.

I wonder if you might have a bit of OCD and you are stuck on self analyzing. You say if you stop that you go right back to it and start all over again. That sounds almost like OCD. In any case, your bf doesn't want to hear it because you are talking about yourself non-stop, even if you are analyzing, and you are not letting him talk about him, in that you are not interested. That isn't going to work over the long run. If he listens to you, then you need to give him equal time regardless of whether you find it interesting or not. It's a pretty sure bet that he is not finding all of your self analysis that interesting either but he's making an effort. You need to do the same. In the meantime, self analyze in silence and give his ears a break.

I would love to, I really would... I know it probably sounds like a stupid excuse, lol, but like with any obsession, it just doesn't work that way, not well at least.

When I start talking about it, I do it because he asks. He will ask what I'm thinking about, he will ask what is bothering me, he will ask what I think about something. lol-it generally is sparked (out loud) at least by what he is asking, and that hits home with my obsession because he is asking me about something I'm figuring out.

I am able to stop out loud-I zone out though. I try to listen to him, but don't hear it through the humming of my own thoughts, not well at least. He talks in a lot of metaphors and such when he is speaking about something-which doesn't go over well anyway because I never know what he is meaning, and he knows this.

We are working on it though So it's not that no hope is there. This thread kind of turned into a "me" thing even, lol, but I was just wondering if anyone else does this. Unfortunately, I keep thinking of more to respond with because I think about it so often

and lol to "you got owned"-isn't is supposed to be PWNED? and yes, yes I did, I do every day, lol.

me three.

it could very well be... but I'm never really wanting to fix it, and it doesn't have to run smoothly or anything, I just want the answers is all-I want to know why.

I don't know how thoughts work with OCD, lol, as I do nothing else that remotely shows tendencies for it really.... not that I know of or notice.

because whats going to happen is sooner or later you are gonna piss your bf off (and other people too).
So if you are not unhappy now, be aware of the future possibities; they may cause you some hardship.

I dont know, if you are on medications. Moreover, they are not the only recourse. But they can be effective for OCD.
With or without them, i would advise dealing with it, (or we would not be having this exchange.)
Best of luck, im a bit drunk and am going now, but will check up on you in a week or so to see how yr doin

It sounds like you both have things to work out then. Hopefully you will find the middle ground.

Yes, I have my obsessions, but he likes to learn about things as well, so that doesn't bother him and we don't talk about them non-stop. It's probably because we aren't talkers. If anything, we're overly silent. I was thinking the other day about how NTs fill up hours talking about nothing (mainly because they don't care what the answers are) and I realized that in 27 years we've never done this. We don't ask how each other are, we don't ask how our day was, etc. We just don't do that and never have. It seemed odd to me that others did, but that passed in about five minutes.

Oh and when I am writing or otherwise occupied with obsessions, I hear, see, smell, feel nothing. If he wants my attention then, he yells at me with a certain tone of voice or he tells me, "Come back to earth, space puppy." He doesn't do that unless he has a reason, so it's fine. He's OCD so he has his own obsessions and can relate to the fact that I have them as well.


OCD is just your brain getting stuck in a pattern, any pattern, to the point where it starts taking over your life to do it. That's why I asked. If you see a therapist, you could ask about it. Otherwise, wait two months and you'll have a new obsession. LOL

lol, thanks yes, I think I will bring this up to my therapist if he hasn't already noticed it. I do take the time when talking to him to deal with other things at home, I do take the time to do other things, but very rarely. It does seem extremely constant though, and is definitely something interfering with other things.

It's been more extreme lately than in the past, and does seem to be a bit impairing even though it is a very relatively silly thing

Thank you all for your responses

How can you tell the difference between an Asperger's obsession and an OCD one?

I do this all the time

no not really, i just never botherd with trying to figure myself out because then i probably wont like myself. lol

lol!! ! I haven't run into that much yet, but I do find a lot of flaws here and there