Question for Nonverbals...

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i might be stupid as hell too; this all makes perfect sense to me, you stated it so well

I must agree. You've said what describes me exactly. Way better than I could've said.
I talk quite a lot (occourding to my friends) but never about things that require a lot of thought, or that I particularly care about. For those things that are important to me or that I have something meaningful to say about, it's extremely difficult to get even a sentence out. As a result people say I'm empty, dull or have no purpose.

I do develop 'mutism' when I am in a state of anxiety or stress - I am unable to speak despite the fact that normally I have good verbal communication skills, and despite the fact that I really want to and am trying really hard - it's just like part of my brain temporarily shuts down or something.

There are times which I choose not to speak - but this is a completely different and separate thing. I don't do it to be mean or rude or to 'get back at' anyone or thing - it's just that when I am very tired or stressed, speaking becomes incredibly difficult for me - far more than typing (for example). It feels like a stressful exam and causes me to feel a kind of physical pain. If I am in a situation where I will need to speak under stress, I will normally need to practice over and over again or write down what to say first otherwise I simply won't be able to manage speech - either that or I will be able to say things but will express myself badly - something that I don't usually have a problem with.

Does anyone else have this? Is it involuntary for you as well?

girl7000,

I’d like to talk
when I reach that fork
but I remain mute
‘cause there’s no holes cut in my flute
completely involuntary
much like how I write this
when I throw this
into the fire voluntarily

Yeah I'm the same as you girl7000, except when in the situations where i practice over and over in my head what to say i know its going to end badly with a stutter or whatever so i just dont bother saying anything.

The other reason why I don't talk in social situations is because I just dont feel the need to (anymore). I walk into the social situation in the same frame of mind that i was when i was on my own, except now with the feeling of being judged, so i make doubly sure i dont say anything stupid

A story: One time during tafe/college when i had to stand up on stage and give a practice speech to a large audience my mind went into panic mode->then spaced out mode->then conjure up courage mode->then shakey mode->then clear thought mode->then god mode and a voice/feeling in my head said "it'll be alright i've got something cooking to say"(NT mode?), and by the time i got up there and the audience clapping died down i acknoledged the audience with a nod, and said something like "thanks folks and now i'll pass it onto *** to finish off" then got laughing all the way back to my seat It was only a practice speech so it didnt matter what i said anyway. by the time the real speech time came around i cant remember how i felt. think it went flawlessly

its amazing what a little encouragement does sometimes

sorry for the long post

Wow! In all my life I have never come across anyone else who has (referred to) experiencing this. I have only had it a few times, once extremely severe at the age of 19 when my then fiancée (now ex-wife) accused me of a range of things which I had not done, and of being various things that I did not feel I was. This was to me a combination of betrayal, interrogation, almost captivity and I could not get words out of my mouth. I had to write. She of course thought that was a manipulative game which just stretched me closer to breaking point. It was hours before I could speak again. Normally I am extremely fluent in conversation with those I know well.

i really don't know, some people just think i can be ignorant sometimes. they may be correct

Amazingly well put girl7000. I have noticed several similarities with things you have posted in other threads as well and that you are able to express them so distinctly.
I just went through a bit of this 'mutism' this last weekend. I tried bringing up to my Mom the subject of AS. I spent two evenings working out in my head how I could bring up the subject, while sitting near her as she was knitting. I came up with decent ways of bringing up the subject, but could not manage to get it out of my mouth. I was able to ask her what I was like when I was little when she had me drive her to the store. I think the change of scenery helped loosen me up, or maybe the fact that I was in control in some way (driving the car) helped enable me to actually talk. Anyway I wasn't really able to get any real info about my childhood other than I was always quiet and just watched everyone all the time. (So strange that she can talk for hours about just about anything, but only had that to say about me when I was little.) I was kinda disappointed about how little I had gotten considering all the effort it took me to get this far.
So a few days later I was browsing searches for AS up in the living room and let her see what I was reading. She seemed surprised at what I was reading and asked me why. At the time I interpreted it as in an accusing manner. So my defense walls shot up and I basically mumbled that I had stumbled across it while browsing and found it very interesting. I had the perfect opportunity to tell her, but I couldn't get the words "I think I have AS" out of my mouth. My brain was screaming it, but it never made it close to my mouth.

I just went through that kclark. I spilled to mum that I wanted to see a psych. I didn't go mute though, but my voice was quavering and at times found it difficult to find the right words (despite my normally extensive vocabulary). I had to move us into a darker room to make eye contact. My mum understood though and wondered if I'd been planning to say those things for a while (I think she understands me more than I originally thought - somewhat aspie herself.)

When I am in real conflict with someone or really stressed, I find it extremely difficult to get words out, like 1 to 3 at a time, and usually tear up.

One of the favorite nicknames I have been given is the "silent one." Sometimes people have been
completely stunned when I start talking. My silence often isn't a premeditated thing. I just don't have anything I particularly want to say to anyone.

Even with many of my posts to WP, the
delete key overpowers the rest of the keyboard, and I never make it as far as the submit button.
Here I am wavering again. Do I hit the delete key or the submit key....

I have trouble connecting spoken words to thoughts.

I had the same trouble when I did speak.

To the person who called me LFA, I don't identify that way -- or as HFA -- that's just the only way I've been written about medically on paper if a functioning level was given at all. And that was given when I had more speech than I do now.

But basically, combination of...

...trouble connecting spoken words to thoughts.

...trouble with hearing words at the same time as generating them (too much multitasking).

...trouble connecting words to thoughts at all.

...trouble finding mouth.

...trouble with the process that happens even before I speak, where I am generating words. (Less trouble with a similar process for typing. Probably two different areas of the brain, is what I've been told.)

...overload generated by the process itself (foreign to my brain, makes my head buzz, speech was so draining at my best that I could go to a conference for three days today and it would be the equivalent of using speech for a few hours in the past as far as overload goes).

I do not always have trouble repeating words I've heard, or singing songs, etc. It's mostly the whole process of getting a thought into words and the words out my mouth and so forth that muck up speaking.

And not being able to speak wasn't a choice for me. I think my brain itself in more wisdom than I had made that choice though. I think it decided that it was using up so many resources on speech that it couldn't do anything else, and it wanted to be doing other more important things. So it killed the memory hog. I think it had tried to do so once before (when I initially lost speech in early childhood) but been thwarted in that attempt.

With regards to non-verbal, I prefer non-speaking because it is more specific. However, most people when they refer to "nonverbal autistic people" are referring specifically to speech and not to written language or sign language. Some modern people are objecting to that, but the most common usage of non-verbal is non-speaking. Good that you were trained that way but no that is not primarily how it is used in the field of speech pathology in general, it's just how some people are trying to change the language to reflect reality. When people, including people in the speech pathology field, talk about non-verbal autistic people they mean non-speaking ones 9 times out of 10 at least. They may be trying to change that but it has not changed yet and you should not treat it as if the terminology has shifted when it hasn't.

Also, what you said about receptive language is oversimplified. When I had speech, I actually had stunningly "better" expressive than receptive language on tests -- because I could repeat and manipulate entire strings of words without having a clue what I was saying. So it is not only people who can't speak who can have severe receptive language problems.Donna Williams is similar in that regard I think. (In fact speech messed up my receptive language immensely.)

Who called you LFA?



Well, sorry, but that's just what I've been taught, so that's what I know. In my experience, the terminology has "shifted" as you say. Maybe it hasn't where you are. I mean, my AAC professor is fairly large in the AAC world and is an extremely prolific researcher, and she's the one who taught us this definition, so it can't be too marginalized a point of view. My speech department is actually one of the best in the US for AAC (too bad my specialty isn't AAC!), so I would tend to believe that what I've learned is fairly representative of AAC in general. But who knows, maybe the people who use "nonverbal" to mean "nonspeaking" are the same people who use oral-motor therapy for kids with articulation problems, even though it's been shown to be ineffective for treating speech.



Not sure whose comment you're talking about here, so I won't respond. I don't remember anyone talking about this though. As far as I'm aware, people on this thread were talking about expressive language only.