What did you think was wrong before you heard about AS?

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First I thought I was very shy, a part from that, a dork, very stupid, someone who didn't have enough intelligence to be able to be around people and have friends, that really made me have a very low self steem for many years.

People used to compare me with Mr Bean, so I hated him so much, because I didn't want to be like that, feeling so frustrated, I don't hate him now

Later, I thought of the idea of having dyspraxia, because of bad coordination. And I thought that was the reason of all my problems, just a few months later I found out about AS in the net, and eventually WP, and here I learned more.

lol the first and only psychologist that my mom took me to labled me "neurotic" because I fidgeted my legs when I sat down and after he was done talking to me I stood up and began pacing the room while answering... and the funny thing was that he insisted on ONLY knowing why I was violent and got angry easily... I guess that was the most important thing in my parents' opinions back then. If I "insulted" a teacher, my mom could call and apologise and if I didn't have friends, my mom could make friends with their moms so they'd be forced into being my friends. But they couldn't just apologise and get away with it if I hurt someone.

Well I didn't know why but he told me I should talk to him so I lied to him and told him it's because my parents fight a lot... which was true, but I wasn't sure if it made me so pissed off. From there I was sent home with that label that I HATE SO MUCH!!

Some few years later I read on the internet about ADHD and thought I might have it.. some ADHD symptoms afterall fit with ASDs. ADHD also has the symptom of being impulsive and getting angry easily in some cases.

I love you Kilroy. No, not in that way
You have been an excellent person and an excellent friend
I thank you for that

I figured since I didn't really like to talk to people, I must just not like them-I wasn't a "people person". Everything else I kind of took with a grain of salt thinking everyone thought the way I did about things, lol. We moved in the mid of my junior year to a new area, and I graduated with only one friend, who I wasn't even that great of friends with at the time. But then again, I hung out with the "odd" group in my first high school-they understood me alright and didn't point out odd things that I did (looking at it now, I suspect a few for having a lot of traits, lol).

It wasn't until I got older that I started thinking "wow, I'm freaking ___ (lazy, stupid, etc.)" (after being told this many times of course, lol), and then I started wondering why I cannot do things no matter how hard I try (important things bothered me most), why things are so difficult to understand, why can I just NOT seem to learn things unless I'm really interested in them, etc... and here I am, seeing a therapist, signed up to see a specialist, and hanging out on WP

My original belief wa that I was from another planet and sent here to do research on humans and nature(grade school until mid 20's)I also believed in the possibility that I was recently reincarnated and that accounted for my very strong interests in animals,witchs,native american culture.After studying psychology,I thought I just had depression,alienation,lack of emotional response and attachment disorder because I was adopted.I thought my very poor relationsip with my adopted mom was the cause of a lot of my "trust issues" preventing me from developing relationships.I never did have an explaination for the sensory issues,but assumed it was some deep psychological "wound" I had repressed(this came from to much therepy which blamed everything on some mysterious childhood repressed event which they believed was sexual or general abuse...but they refused to hypnotise me to find out what I was "repressing".

AS explains alot and much simplier then any theory so far(though I have a hard time excepting I will never return to the planet to howl with the wolves and cuddle the giant polar bears.....ah well.)

hehe the same here. i thought that average people were just too weak. i had a lot of quarrels about me doing something inappropriate, but i thought that it's just them taking things too seriously. although, i never had real friends, i learned how to be ok with that, so it didn't bother me much.

and i was also thinking about this, even hoping it was that way

Awwwwww, Kilroy. Don't hate yourself. You are peachy keen.

Yeah, I stil mostly hate me too.

I had a similar experience. I was told by my obsessively religious mother that I was "evil" and everyone said that I was 'intelligent' so I should 'know better'. So I just thought I must be a really bad person because that is what everyone kept telling me.

And then I thought that I was mentally ill or had a learning difficulty.

I thought I had missed out on learning the rules at some point and that if someone just sat and explained it all to me I would be okay. Now I know there is no rule book and if there was I couldn't learn them anyway.

I felt for a looong time as if everyone else around me had the full complement of "rooms" (if you will) built into their brains, but when it came to mine, the builders had blocked off some of the rooms, or not built them at all. Then at about age 30 I had an enormous burst of insight: I have no empathy with other people! Relief and anguish in about equal parts. Even then I knew there must be more to it than that. But up to that point I had been completely mystified as to why I felt so different from everyone I knew. That moment was the beginning of understanding.

Oh and also, during the course of some not-especially-helpful talk therapy, I was told I had bipolar tendencies. Quite true, but not nearly the whole truth, as it turned out.

Last edited by SleepyDragon on 31 May 2007, 7:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

I thought being bullied so badly as a kid had scarred me. I knew there was more to it than that, since I didn't smile till I was 5 and didn't speak using more than an occasional single word till I was 6, but I had no idea what it was. I went to a psychiarist when I was 18 but he was not at all helpful.

Schizophrenia, OCD (was correct), Social Anxiety, and then Avoidant Personality

Also just thought I had a bad personality

I thought I was defective, pathetic and weak.

schizophrenia

Thought it was all as a result of being naughty, being different, being a loner, having been abused etc etc.
Didn't even know a thing about AS or autism.

I just always knew that there was something 'wrong'. AS is not 'wong' but I have other things too that are a pain.