Went for assessment this week

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One thing that seems to be a cliche is the special interests. Maybe it's just my biased view, but most interests aren't really that weird, and most people seem to have a variety of interests, and to change interests over time. Very often, the special interest is unusual not because few people are interested in it, but because the person has picked a particular section of a larger subject to focus on, or because the person spends an absurd amount of time on it.

I haven't seen a lot of people on WP who have only one or two special interests, that they had since childhood, and that consists mainly of writing lists about their interest. This trait seems exaggerated by clinicians.

Me either. I'm interested in a TV show which millions of people watch . That's not really your typical ASD special interest. I rarely see anyone here that has had the same special interest since childhood. Mine usually come and go. I don't write lists about my interests either !

No doubt the material you sent was carefully selected to suit your argument which leads me to question what it is you're looking for. Are you looking for a professional to come to a conclusion about what he thinks you have, or have you gone in there specifically wanting an AS diagnosis and you're not going to leave until you get it? Why not let him find his own material from his own sources and come to his own unbiased conclusion? What you're effectively doing is trying to steer him toward the result you want.

As for having friends, it's neither evidence for or against a diagnosis. Instead what needs to be looked at is if you are significantly impaired when it comes to forming social relationships. After all, some friendships are more one-sided with one person doing all of the maintenance so if the person doing the maintenance is non-autistic it is possible to have such friendships. So friend count alone is too simplistic a metric.

I don't think it's terribly significant what the interests are or whether they are weird or not; I think it's far more significant that we over-focus on them and that we tend to rapidly lose interest when the topic moves away from those interests.

OOPS! Sorry The screen on my phone is really tiny and sometimes I have no idea what's going on! I am glad you can bombard him with info. Hopefully he will listen and learn. I really want this for you and I want it to be the right result either way.

Question all you like In fact, why don't you have a look at the material I sent him? I'm interested in other people's opinions. I'm looking for an answer to what I might have - as the guy said, there are things that look like autism that aren't, so I want to rule that out. So far we've successfully ruled out ADHD, which is satisfying, because I really wasn't sure. What I don't want is to spend another three years on wild goose chases about things I already know I don't have, such as bipolar or borderline, which are common misdiagnoses. The reason I'm sending some material is partly because of the time factor. I am one of many clients. I don't kid myself that this guy is going to go as deep into this material as I have. There's a lot of junk out there, including badly constructed research projects. Also, I trust him to be able to make up his own mind - he seemed like he was keeping his options open and exploring various possibilities, which is cool. The worst is people who make snap decisions. I may be wrong about him, though. I have been wrong before. Repeatedly.

I sent this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy3jYIqRIJg
It's a news piece on Limpsfield Grange and the challenges autistic girls face. It's a very good summary of key questions, but the main reason why I included it is that is shows the body language of a group of autistic girls, which is something you don't see very often, and also of an adult autistic woman interacting with her children, interspersed with interviews with neurotypical women (a mother, a teacher, a researcher) for contrast. A person can read all the research papers they want, without learning much about autistic body language in women. I can't see myself from outside. I do recognise in myself the uncoordinated gesticulating with long, skinny arms, but I can't see my own face, for obvious reasons.

I also sent this article: https://www.scientificamerican.com/arti ... -in-girls/
I think it's a good article, but more importantly it mentions several studies for further reading. Based on what this guy said, he didn't seem at all aware of the debate going on about autism in females. This is a good as any place to start.



I totally agree with you there, which is why lastly I sent this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OHnDIMTCbo, which I'm not certain he will watch to the end, because it's long, so you'd have to have a special interest in the subject..... It's an extremely good presentation by Tony Attwood on the social challenges facing children on the spectrum. It goes into social strategies, diagnostic criteria, how to solve specific problems, etc..

Basically I'm trying to communicate that these questions are very complex. If the guy is not aware of the female presentation, it is time to learn.

Definitely, and this is one of the things I am pretty certain that I'm right about.

Thanks, Skibum! I have no idea how this will pan out, but I'm glad that I did it. I don't want to spend the next ten years wondering whether I'm autistic, going through endless cycles of self-doubt..... I think the key to getting a good assessment is to agree to just about any test, take time, show you've done your homework, and try to give the person assessing you space to breathe....I know I can be a bit intense...

If this works out, hopefully I will have more direction when it comes to work. I want to start my own business and work from home. I'm tired of the workplace craziness. It's damaging me psychologically. With a diagnosis in hand, I can see a workplace psychologist who can help me with strategies. I can't keep trying and failing at things, I need to go into a project with a reasonable chance of success. Also, I hope to connect with local women in a similar situation. I can't ask Americans for social strategies where I live, that will backfire badly in my culture, which is very different.

There is a very real possibility I could get some help to knock out some kind of life strategy, which would really help me.

It's hard to put one's finger on exactly what makes something a special interest. I feel it is something that doesn't just entertain, it makes life better, is meaningful in some way.

The definition of a "harmful Special Interest" is a particular interest which prevents people from doing things like eating, washing, going to work----vital things.

Well, there's that. I had a bad case of computer games once. Tried to limit it, didn't work. Eventually I just uninstalled and threw away the cd's. Promised myself I could play again once I'm a pensioner.

However, I think to some extent one has to create a lifestyle for oneself where there is space for some kind of special interest, of a more healthy variety. Everybody's entitled to a hobby, right? For example bee keeping could be a special interest, but it's a special interest where you get out of the house, interact with living things and do something useful.

I once saw a WP member describe calorie counting as a special interest. Said person had gotten very ill from anorexia. I don't think that something you feel compelled to do out of fear is really a special interest, though. That's OCD territory.

I don't know, some interests are inherently addictive, like computer games and gambling, but if the person is not eating, sleeping or showing up for work because of a non-addictive interest, I'd start thinking about stress levels.

Btw, I may have misunderstood you, Kraftie. Do you mean to say that all special interests are defined as harmful, or only some?

Only some.

I was talking only about "harmful" special interests.

One can have a "special interest" that takes up lots of their time, and even something that one is obsessed with---and not have it be necessarily "harmful" to them. Except that it might render a person rather inflexible, and leave little time for other pursuits.

But it's not "harmful" because the person is still eating, making a living, washing, etc.

But it can be detrimental to a person's happiness, ultimately, because of the narrow focus.

I see one problem with my special interests, and that's the fact that I spend a lot of time researching and not a lot of time acting on my research. In other words, not a lot gets done. I've started being kinder to myself about it, though, because I figured out that I will indulge to some extent anyway, and I don't want to create cycles of overindulgence which lead to self-hate that leads to overindulgence that leads to....you get the gist.

When I look back at all the time I've spent on self-hate because I didn't live up to my own standards, I feel that there was nothing that was was quite such a big waste of time as self-hate. The older I get, the more I think that it is inevitable that one will fall off a horse at times, and have to get back on again. The important thing seems to not spend too much time on the ground thinking about it.

I agree. It's detrimental to "beat yourself up" over "not doing much" when it comes to your Special Interest. This leads to more apathy, not less apathy.

There are times when one will "do something later," as regards the Special Interest---but not at any other point but "later." Maybe you're not "ready" as of yet. You'll be "ready" later.

Also: pursuing a Special Interest, most of the time, leads to research which branches off into other areas. In fact, in many Special Interests, it is inevitable that this will happen.

People used to criticise me so much that I believed them. It was always "If you haven't done it yet, you never will", and I learned to judge myself as harshly. Now I realize what a slow starter I am, and that if give myself enough time and ignore the critics, I can actually achieve much more than I thought, given enough time to prepare. It's really about eliminating randomness, considering eventualities.